(To be said in Yakko Warner's voice) "It's that time again." Time for another CHIKARA weekend spectacular showcase extravaganza! With the sheer number of shows they've been putting on this year, it's getting tougher and tougher to fit their three-day-weekend shows into one episode. I'll try to do so today, seeing as how I meant to do a write-up yesterday but got totally sidetracked by various other things. Anyway, I thought this weekend was Chikarasaurus Rex weekend, but it turns out that's next month. That is a trio of shows I am looking forward to almost as much as I did King of Trios. But let's get to this month's shows first.
There is one very unfortunate injury to report: Brodie Lee was hurt during a recent Dragon Gate USA show, and will probably be out of action for a while. This puts the highly anticipated Lee/Kingston match off and takes Lee out of the 12 Large Summit. I wish him a speedy recovery.
Now, to make up for the loss of the Big Rig of the CHIKARA roster, the matches already set up had to be shuffled around a little. But the cards still look great, so let's take a looksee.
The Case of the Bulletproof Waldo
The Throwbacks (Sugar Dunkerton, Dasher Hatfield, and Matt Classic) vs. The Dark Army (Obariyon, Kodama, and Kobald)
*clears throat* Ahem...MATT CLASSIC IN THE HOUSE! He is once again paired with The Throwbacks in a...well...throwback...to last year's King of Trios. Dunkerton, Hatfield, and the 87-year veteran of professional wrestling will take on the dangerous trio known as the Dark Army. Obariyon and Kodama gained a victory over the Throwbacks last month at Anniversario, and I'm sure the Throwbacks are looking to even the score. Matt Classic is a bit of a wild card, though, as he's been known to be somewhat unreliable in tag team matches. Some people question whether he actually knows what a tag team is. But he is a dangerous man when inside the squared circle, so the Dark Army had better watch out. Kobald is also a wild card, always running around and interfering in other peoples' business...Anyway, I'd imagine this to be a pretty back and forth affair, hopefully including some classic Matt Classic high-flying maneuvers. You know, I'm not sure Matt Classic has ever won a match in CHIKARA...but I think that streak may come to an end today. I'll take The Throwbacks to win.
The Osirian Portal (Ophidian and Hieracon) vs. Emperador and Ripper
Unfortunately, I know absolutely nothing about Emperador and Ripper besides the fact that they work for GALLI Lucha Libre. But they're luchadores, and that usually means that they're good workers. On the other side of the ring, Hieracon continues to fill in for the injured Amasis. While Hieracon has been doing better in the ring, he doesn't quite yet have the chemistry that Ophidian had with Amasis. Still, they are a formidable tag team with points towards the Campeonatos de Parejas. And I can't see them losing said points to a team that's probably in CHIKARA for one night only. Still, it should be an interesting matchup. The Osirian Portal wins.
Eddie Kingston vs. Colt Cabana
This match could be epic. And I don't use that word very often anymore (mostly because it's been completely overused by the general public). I don't think I've looked forward to an advertised match this much since Kingston vs. El Generico. And I think (for those of you who know the not-so-well-kept secret about Cabana) you will understand why I picked the Throwbacks to win: I don't see Cabana taking two losses in one night. I also don't see him taking two wins in one night. Sorry, Colt, but this match is going to the War King. Eddie Kingston wins.
Side note: I'm a little saddened that CHIKARA seems to be going toward a more generic music feel. Maybe they aren't able to use the songs they used to use under Fair Use anymore. All I'm saying is I'm royally disappointed that Eddie Kingston isn't using the instrumental version of that Jay-Z sample of The Ecstasy of Gold anymore. Moving on...
The Colony (Soldier Ant and Green Ant) vs. F.I.S.T. (Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano)
We're getting a rematch of sorts from this year's King of Trios finals. Since both Fire Ant and Icarus are in 12 Large Summit matches, these teams are going at it in a traditional tag match. Well, a traditional CHIKARA tag match, that is. I'd have to imagine that F.I.S.T. still holds a grudge against the Colony for preventing them (F.I.S.T.) from becoming two-time Kings of Trios. And everybody holds a grudge against F.I.S.T. for...well...being F.I.S.T. Anyway, these are two of CHIKARA's most well-established teams with a long history, and they always put on a good match, be it against each other or other opponents. So this match should be no different. I'm sure Chuck Taylor is stinging from two losses at Anniversario, so he's probably wanting a win more than anyone else. And that's why I think this match will be won by F.I.S.T.
Da Soul Touchaz (Marshe Rockett, Acid Jaz, and Willie Richardson) vs. the BDK (Ares, Tursas, and Tim Donst)
We haven't seen DST in CHIKARA in a while, but they still aren't done with the BDK. I'm a little surprised (but not disappointed) that this feud has lasted for about eight months. I'm glad it gives DST something to do in CHIKARA. They are three very talented men who probably could move up to bigger and better things were it not for this nagging feud they have with the BDK. I think if they get a win, they might get some closure from the events that transpired late last year. Maybe if they win, they'll get a more permanent spot on the CHIKARA roster, and maybe a spot in next year's King of Trios...I hope that's the case, anyway. So I'm going with my heart here and picking Da Soul Touchaz to win this bout.
12 Large Summit match - Sara Del Rey vs. Icarus
Two of the most despised heels on the CHIKARA roster will battle it out to see who gets their first win in the 12 Large Summit. Some people (namely the face commentators) are questioning how anyone other than Claudio Castagnoli got any votes to get into this tourney, and we don't know yet how Sara garnered enough votes to get in. But this just proves that she's that damn awesome. And you know what? As much as I like to root against the BDK, I like to root against anyone from F.I.S.T. even more. So I'm picking Sara Del Rey to win this match, because I want to see her kick Icarus' freaking head off.
12 Large Summit match - Fire Ant vs. UltraMantis Black
Both men are also competing in their first 12 Large Summit match, and getting points early is a key to moving on. And in a contrast to the previous match, both Fire Ant and UMB are painfully over with the crowd. Mantis had an awesome bout with Chuck Taylor that saw them fighting in a park for a couple of minutes and a chop war that lasted far longer than any chop war I've seen (save that insane chop war between Kobashi and Sasaki - go look it up). I'm expecting this to be a fairly fast-paced affair, with lots of high spots from Fire Ant and a fair bit of offense from the devious one himself. But who wins? Out of the two, I honestly think Mantis has a better shot of getting further in the tourney, and since he's got a monstrous challenge the next day, I'm thinking he gets some points today. UltraMantis Black wins.
12 Large Summit match - Claudio Castagnoli vs. Hallowicked
Hallowicked was the first person to win a 12 Large Summit match, besting Mike Quackenbush in an excellent match at Anniversario. But Claudio is another story entirely. The contest between Quack and Wicked was a spirited affair, since both men are friends and compatriots. This bout, however, will be brutal, filled with hate and anger, a true knock-down drag-out fight to the bitter end. Hallowicked may have won the first match in the tourney, but I don't think he'll make it to the finals. I've already hedged my bets that Claudio vs. Kingston will be the final match of this tourney (to put the final nail in their feud's coffin), and for that to happen, Claudio needs to win his matches. So I'm picking Claudio Castagnoli to win.
And that's today's (Friday) show. Now let's move on to Saturday's show:
A Demon in His Pocket
CLASH Special Attraction match - Cameron Skyy and Too Sweet vs. Gavin Quinn and The H3RD
I've only heard (no pun intended) of Cameron Skyy, who was a participant in last year's Young Lion's Cup tournament. And sine I've never seen a CLASH show, I'm totally in the dark here. So I'll just pick the guy I've heard of to win. Awful practice, I know. Cameron Skyy and Too Sweet win. I need to watch more independent stuff...
Hieracon vs. Vin Gerard
Despite losing his tag team partner of quite some time, STIGMA, Vin Gerard probably has to feel pretty good about defeating Brodie Lee in a 12 Large Summit match last month. And now that Lee is out of the tourney due to an injury, Gerard can claim that he's the only man who can lay claim to defeating Brodie in the tournament. Or something silly like that. This isn't a tournament match, but it should be a good match nonetheless. And I think that Vin needs the singles victory more than Hieracon, since Vin needs to get some momentum built up as a singles competitor now that the UnStable is no more. So I'm picking Vin Gerard to win. Eew, I think I need to take a shower after making that pick...
The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield and Sugar Dunkerton) vs. The BDK (Tim Donst and Jakob Hammermeier)
I'm actually a little disturbed at how many wins Jakob has. A small part of me wonders if this is just to get back at Lince Dorado for no-showing a couple of events (a fact I did not know about until recently, which explains why Dorado is no longer a part of CHIKARA (which is disappointing to me since I rather liked watching him get the crap beaten out of him on a regular basis (See: The Extremely Hilarious Deaths of Lince Dorado on the Youtubes))). I hope that isn't the case. Anyway, Hammermeier's gimmick of announcing himself, then running to the back and walking out all proud like he just got introduced by someone else is still hilarious to me. And while he isn't the greatest wrestler in the company, he's got the heel schtick down perfectly. He wears a vest and tie down to the ring, and always uses them to choke his opponents. He's actually very good for a man with limited in-ring academics. Anyway, I've blabbed on about Jakob for longer than most announcers will during a match of his. I don't think The Throwbacks will be winning two matches in two days, unfortunately. The BDK wins this match.
Gregory Iron vs. Icarus
Iron has been champing at the bit to get revenge on Icarus for months. He gets his shot on Saturday. And as much as I want to see him win, I just don't think it's going to happen while Icarus is part of the 12 Large Summit. Maybe once Icarus is eliminated from the tourney, Iron will get his revenge. But this time, I think Icarus gains the victory.
Okay, after some thought, I've decided to break this episode into two so I can retain some semblance of sanity. Also so this episode isn't twelve thousand words long. So stay tuned for part two, which will be posted either tonight or tomorrow!
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