tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91747066692947148272024-03-13T11:44:36.165-07:00Rantables Wrestling Blogholydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-20380943885946058532011-08-27T21:55:00.000-07:002011-08-27T21:59:45.619-07:00I'm sorry I didn't get around to doing picks for CHIKARA's Young Lion's Cup show. Part of the reason is because Hurricane Irene is traversing the east coast and the show had to be shortened to one day (today) and there was no way to predict which matches would stay on today's card and which would be dropped. Part of the reason is because the last few days have been tough for me and I never got up the gumption to write or record anything. As it stands, this is the first CHIKARA event I haven't done picks for for quite some time. It will not happen again. I was also going to post a tirade about the current direction of WWE Monday Night Raw, but I felt that my opinions were more meandering than usual, and decided not to post it. Suffice it to say that I'm disappointed. But I really shouldn't have been surprised that I'd be disappointed; after all, it IS WWE. Anyway, I'll be back at some point to talk about...something. I'm sure a good topic will come up soon.
<br />holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-44382689863122605382011-08-04T10:26:00.000-07:002011-08-04T10:31:27.230-07:00Mini-Episode RE: Chikarasaurus RexFour days ago, Chikarasaurus Rex wrapped up. Today, I am in possession of the DVDs for both shows. CHIKARA really knows when to kick it up a notch in regards to releasing their biggest shows of the year quickly. I'm writing this now because I won't get a chance to watch the shows until Sunday. I also purchased the 2011 Todd Pettengill Invitational because I've heard good things about the tourney. So look for reviews of both shows soon.<br /><br />By the way, you should all check out <a href="http://speeddemosarchive.com/">Speed Demos Archive</a> because they're putting on a charity marathon for the Organization for Autism Research. They'll be playing through 50 games over the next three days. The show starts at 11 AM Pacific time. So in about a half hour. Please check it out.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-10983795657922179882011-07-30T14:40:00.000-07:002011-07-30T14:42:25.173-07:00Podcast Episode 1 - Chikarasaurus Rex Preview and PicksI'm trying something different. Here's a podcast instead of text. Hope you enjoy it.<br /><br /><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Ua8n0JFdqhk?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" width="480"></iframe>holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-80604205350873859352011-07-22T15:35:00.000-07:002011-07-22T16:14:44.727-07:00Episode 22 - Jumping to ConclusionsWell, Money in the Bank has come and gone, and CM Punk left the WWE with the WWE Title. Then, Monday Night Raw rolls around. Now, I haven't watched Raw since February, I believe. That's close to six months. I tuned in because I wanted to see what the aftermath of this story would be. I was disappointed. Or, I should say, I was disappointed that night.<br /><br />You see, as soon as Raw went off the air, I wrote a rather scathing comment on someone's Facebook page, saying that the show truly was all about Vince (seeing as how nearly the last half hour of the show had him on screen) and that the episode was awful because there was no appearance by one CM Punk. Now, after having had several days to digest this (as well as seeing another video which I will discuss momentarily), I realized that I had expected near-immediate results on the story instead of watching and waiting for it to build.<br /><br />Now, I am going to bash WWE, but not quite in the way I did four days ago. I believe the reason I expected the story to move forward on Raw was because of the way WWE has done their storytelling over the past few years: a story that felt like it should grow over months ended up getting crammed into the space between PPV shows, and the whole story arc felt rushed. Now it appears that the CM Punk storyline is going to take a while, which at first threw me off. I was expecting an immediate continuation of the story on Monday night. What we got was the typical "He isn't employed by WWE, so Vince pretends he doesn't exist" deal that has been going on for decades, and a nearly 30 minute in-ring promo with Vince, John Cena, and HHH. I initially felt as though Vince made his own title even more pointless by pushing it to next week's show and taking up the time where they could be crowning a new champion to announce that John Cena was going to be fired. And when HHH walked down the entrance ramp, I knew he was going to be "taking control of the company." HHH hasn't dressed in a suit and tie for, what, five or six years now? It had to be a big occasion for him to dress like that, especially as a babyface.<br /><br />Anyway, since I have had time to look back on that night, I realized that Vince is finally doing what I'd been complaining about for years: he's letting the story develop over time. He isn't rushing to finish the story arc before the next PPV. He's letting it build, and that is about the smartest thing he can do right now. Meanwhile, we're getting bombarded with images of CM Punk traveling around with the WWE Title. And then, yesterday, this happened:<br /><br /><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/eBwhEpJOrcM?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" width="640"></iframe><br /><br />There are other videos of this event out there with over 250,000 views, but this one has the best overall quality.<br /><br />Now this is about as far into uncharted territory as Vince has ever gone. He's using this very scene between CM Punk and HHH to ignite even more interest in this storyline. And you know what? I'm actually enjoying it. I'm happy to see Vince branching out and poking his head out of that bubble that's been surrounding him for nearly thirty years. I'm glad that he's seemingly starting to let a storyline evolve outside the arena. I like it that this feels more organic, more spontaneous, more REAL than his storylines of the past. When you've got the guy who walked out of the company on top crashing a panel headed by the new boss of the empire, you've got some serious interest building.<br /><br />Simply put, this storyline is growing stronger by the week, and it's keeping me interested. Like I said a few days ago, I haven't been this intrigued by a WWE story in years. I think because Vince is seemingly heading outside his comfort zone, it's making me appreciate what he's doing. So maybe that situation I described a few days ago will happen, but it won't be soon.<br /><br />I do have to complain about one thing, though. Otherwise, it wouldn't be an episode about WWE. I am disappointed with the WWE Title match set for next Monday night. Miz vs. Rey Mysterio? I was really hoping to see someone who hadn't been world champ in this match. I would have loved to see Kofi Kingston in this match, even though I gave up on him ever being a WWE world champ months ago. Still, it would have been nice to see a new face in the main event scene. But I'm pretty sure this title match will be irrelevant. Why, you ask? Because this is all just a storyline.<br /><br />I believe now that this whole thing about Punk leaving was just the build-up to this story arc. The stories about Punk leaving because WWE wanted to trademark his name, all the talk of backstage politics...all just the setup. And now that I realized that, I have to give WWE credit for stepping into new territory (for them, anyway). Of course, hindsight is 20/20, and everyone who considers themselves a smart mark or a member of the internet wrestling community should have been smarter than they were. When MVP left late last year, he informed several sources that he was allowed to continue using the MVP gimmick because he was the one who came up with it. It was his intellectual property, and WWE let him keep it. I have to believe that the whole story about Punk wanting to leave because WWE wanted his gimmick is just a setup because his gimmick was created long before he entered WWE. But I don't mind now that I realize it was part of the story.<br /><br />What I'm really enjoying most about this story, though, is that it's being doled out in pieces, like a jigsaw puzzle, and once you figure out how the pieces lock together, there's this sense of accomplishment. I'm really hoping that the story continues to unfold piece by piece, and not dumped on us at once. I'll be watching Raw again next Monday night, just to see where the story goes.<br /><br />So I suppose that's all for the moment. Except for this SPOILER ALERT FOR SMACKDOWN: Apparently, Daniel Bryan Danielson announced that he was cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase at Wrestlemania 28. He'd be the first person to announce when he was cashing in his contract since Rob Van Dam. This, again, allows for months of build-up, which is just what Danielson needs. I'd love to see him get more time in the ring to show off his skills instead of getting the crap kicked out of him every week. I'm just happy he's got a world title match at Wrestlemania. He deserves it more than anyone else on the WWE roster, and I'm looking forward to the match, whomever his opponent may be.<br /><br />Okay, NOW I'm done. Catch you all later, and remember to stay cool. It's about a thousand degrees outside.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-77085036136544075522011-07-18T20:04:00.000-07:002011-07-18T20:16:08.189-07:00Mini-Episode RE: Money in the BankI don't have time for a full episode, but I must say something about the events of last night's Money in the Bank PPV show. I read the results of the show and, upon finding out how the show ended, as well as the results of two other matches, I found myself having to watch the show. So I *AHEM* "acquired" it and watched those three matches. I will say now that I was absolutely surprised at the results even though I had read them already. Those three matches? The Smackdown Money in the Bank match (which I predicted Mr. Danielson would win), the World Heavyweight Championship match, and, of course, the WWE Title match. While I definitely want to see what transpires on Smackdown, I have to say that ever since I started watching wrestling again in 2006, I have never been more curious as to how a storyline plays out than I am with the CM Punk story. Punk defeated Cena, won the WWE Title, and avoided being put in a match with the Raw Money in the Bank match winner, Alberto Del Rio. So Punk actually accomplished what he set out to do, something I doubt anyone who wasn't completely in the know could have predicted.<br /><br />What really amazes me is how much this has pulled me back into watching WWE programming. I've been on such a WWE-hate trip for the past couple of years that it's oddly refreshing to look forward to Raw or Smackdown. I still cannot stand Michael Cole, and there were times where I was finding myself falling back into my old ways of yelling at the computer screen when Cole said something idiotic, breaking my concentration on the match and taking me out of the moment. But I'm going to watch Raw for the first time since February. Yes, that means I'm going back on my statement of never watching a WWE show again. But when you've got a story this intriguing that captures your interest as much as this does, I can't help but tune in.<br /><br />On a side note, the Punk/Cena match will definitely be a Match of the Year candidate. Not just because it was a great match, but because the story surrounding it is fascinating and as entertaining as any WWE storyline over the past five years.<br /><br />So I'm watching Raw. I'm hoping that the CM Punk story remains strong. If it does, I may finally change my opinion of Vince McMahon. Maybe he's finally evolving out of his draconian mental view of the sport. I sure hope so. Tonight might be a new dawn for pro wrestling. And if it is, I'm going to ride the wave, baby. Catch you all later.<br /><br />P.S.: I loved the Chicago crowd chanting "Colt Cabana!" That, and the ridiculous pops Punk got throughout the match. It made the match just that much better. Okay, that's all.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-773867776271275052011-07-15T15:17:00.001-07:002011-07-15T15:59:25.516-07:00Episode 21 - What the Future Holds For UsI was going to make my next episode about the only TNA PPV I've ever watched (Destination X), but the more I think about it, the more this needs saying in public.<br /><br />I'm really hoping that there's just the faintest chance in Hades that maybe, just maybe, Vince McMahon is FINALLY coming to his senses and starting to acknowledge other wrestling companies out there. Why, you ask? Because of CM Punk's promo on Raw a couple of weeks ago. If, by some fluke, you missed it, here it is:<br /><br /><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Z_u3mSFQPUQ?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" width="640"></iframe><br /><br />Make sure to watch the whole thing before continuing with this episode.<br /><br />So why do I think that Vince, in his ripe old age, has begun to acknowledge other wrestling companies out there? Well, for one, he allowed Punk to name both New Japan Pro Wrestling AND Ring of Honor during the broadcast. But that isn't all. In the last couple of days, it has come to light that three big names on the independent wrestling circuit have been holding out on signing new deals with their current company. Colt Cabana, Claudio Castagnoli, and Chris Hero all are apparently not in talks with Ring of Honor to sign new contracts. What does this mean? Well, for one, if all three leave, it's a huge chunk of ROH's drawing power gone. But there is speculation that Castagnoli and Hero are in talks with WWE to sign contracts. And with Punk name-dropping Cabana during the above promo, one wonders if he could make a return to WWE as well.<br /><br />This whole business with the three indy stars holding out on ROH is also making me question Punk's apparently initial plans to leave WWE when his contract expires this weekend (holy crap, I just realized that the PPV was this Sunday!). I always feel like when a wrestler's contract expires the day of a PPV, something's a little fishy. It's even fishier when the wrestler actually talks about his contract expiring. At first, I was firm in my belief that Punk would win the WWE Title at Money in the Bank, then one of the Money in the Bank match winners would cash in his contract and take the title away from Punk, making sure that Punk wouldn't actually leave with the WWE Title (not that Vince would actually allow this to happen in the first place). But now, with the news of Cabana, Castagnoli, and Hero all potentially leaving Ring of Honor, I get the sneaking suspicion that Punk's expiring contract is all a ruse.<br /><br />It's a vaguely similar situation to the Daniel Bryan Danielson situation from last year. Danielson was seemingly set for a run with the Nexus, but was supposedly fired for choking a man with his own tie on national television. Danielson got a ton of press, went to the indies, and a couple of months later, showed up back in WWE. Unfortunately, his lame non-gimmick character stuck with him instead of his badass American Dragon character he's had for a decade on the indies. I'd still like to see the American Dragon character on WWE television, just to see one of Vince's oldest stereotypes broken (that being that only the bigger bodybuilder-types can dominate opponents).<br /><br />So where am I going with this? Well, the Punk situation parallel's the Danielson situation somewhat. Both stories involve internet wrestling community fan favorites leaving the company for dubious reasons (Danielson for the tie-choking incident, Punk because supposedly he doesn't want to give WWE the trademark for his name and character), both have next to no hints of returning, and both feel suspiciously like setups, even though WWE is playing them straight. Honestly, I am not sure what to think about the current situation with Punk, but if I had to lay some money on it (say, a dollar), I'd bet Punk isn't actually leaving the company. Before the news of Cabana and Co., I would have thought it a sure thing that Punk was leaving to go to New Japan or back to ROH. But now, there's an inkling that maybe, just maybe, Punk will stay, and bring Cabana, Castagnoli, and Hero with him.<br /><br />Now I'm branching off into full-blown fantasy here, but would it not be simply amazing if we see Punk win the title, lose it to the Money in the Bank winner, then show up the next night on Raw with Cabana, Castagnoli, Hero, and Danielson in tow, declare WWE theirs for the taking, and proceed to rampage across both shows, proclaiming the indy scene to be the best in the world? We see Punk win the WWE Title, Danielson win the World Heavyweight Title, Hero and Castagnoli the Tag Team Titles, and Cabana both the Intercontinental and United States Titles, and just run roughshod over the company. Or maybe get a sixth man (Low Ki?) to hold one secondary title so Cabana isn't a double secondary champion. I know it's entirely a fantasy, but if I was running WWE, that's probably how I'd book the next year of storylines: the indy scene invades WWE and takes over.<br /><br />Now, you may say, "But that's almost exactly the same thing that happened with the Nexus last year HURF DURF *eats shoe*" Well, Mr. Shoe Eater, unlike the Nexus, having these four, five, or six guys destroying the WWE roster is actually believable. Instead of eight "rookies," we have between four and six guys, all with at least a decade of experience each and more wrestling knowledge than the entire WWE roster put together (except The Undertaker, obviously). I can imagine Danielson, Castagnoli, Hero, Low Ki, Punk, and Cabana actually beating this shit out of guys like Heath Slater and Mason Ryan. Hell, I'd like to see every former indy guy/current WWE employee join in on the fray. Get Evan Bourne and Sin Cara involved, and bring up Jon Moxley and Tyler Black. With ten guys, this could be the greatest faction in wrestling history, and it would truly bring about a new renaissance in the wrestling industry.<br /><br />Now, I know that the last two paragraphs were me basically giving myself a good strong wank, but honestly, if you were as fed up with WWE as I was six months ago, you'd take notice of Punk's promo and start wondering what might just happen. On the less pleasant side, Punk could just lose his match at the PPV this Sunday to John Cena and leave the company in a huff. That would be the worst case scenario, one I pray does not happen. They can't let this much build sputter and die just like that. With as much heat as he has, Punk can run with this for months, and, as I said earlier, bring about a new age in wrestling. Though that may just be the smart mark in me talking.<br /><br />I hope you enjoyed this little diatribe of mine. I'm going to continue to think positive about this situation and hope it goes similarly to how I imagine it going. It's too bad not everything can be positive, though, as I must do a review of TNA's Destination X PPV. On the positive side again, CHIKARA has finally released their June shows, and I ordered them the day they came out, so I'm hoping they'll arrive in the next few days. That way, I can get to talking about Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Sequel, which is coming up in just a couple weeks' time. So until next time, keep cool and stay awesome.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-41080109619996294022011-06-25T11:40:00.000-07:002011-06-25T12:39:41.094-07:00Episode 20a - The Two-Part Three-Show Coverage Continues!So I left you all hanging yesterday halfway through today's CHIKARA card. Let's finish up today's card and cover Sunday's show as well.<br /><br />And now, the conclusion of...<br /><br />A DEMON IN HIS POCKET<br /><br />Incoherence (Hallowicked and Frightmare) vs. F.I.S.T. (Johnny Gargano and Chuck Taylor)<br /><br />I stated yesterday that I thought F.I.S.T. would win their match against The Colony. And I haven't looked at the results, because I like to find out when I watch the shows rather than the minute they're over and done. So I don't know who won that match, but if F.I.S.T. did, then they'd be poised for another victory today. If any team could pose a serious threat to the current Campeones de Parejas (besides the BDK), it'd be F.I.S.T. I'd love to see Quackenbush and Jigsaw take on Gargano and Taylor. Though that may not be for a little while, as Jigsaw is on the shelf with an injury. Still, winning today would give this incarnation of F.I.S.T. two points towards challenging for the Campeonatos, and I'd like to see this matchup take place. So I'm picking F.I.S.T. to win again today.<br /><br />The Colony (Soldier Ant, Fire Ant, and Green Ant) vs. The BDK (Ares, Claudio Castagnoli, and Tursas)<br /><br />Hoo boy, talk about your major main event attraction! The past two King of Trios winning teams take on each other to see who is the better team. The BDK certainly has the size advantage (with the mammoth Tursas and the chiseled Claudio Castagnoli), but The Colony has the boundless energy of Fire Ant and the baffling strength of Green Ant. Green managed to bodyslam Tursas, which is impressive considering Green weighs half what Tursas does. It appears that getting his arm broken last year was the best thing to have happened to Green Ant. So which team will I pick to win? That's a tough choice. The BDK is still going strong six months after I thought they would dissolve, and The Colony is better than ever after their King of Trios victory. I think, though, that this time, size does matter. As much as it pains me to say this, I think the BDK is going to win this match.<br /><br />12 Large Summit match - Mike Quackenbush vs. Ophidian<br /><br />CHIKARA's founder takes on the venomous, vile serpent from the Nile. Ophidian took Amasis' place in the 12 Large Summit, so he's got something to prove. Quackenbush lost to Hallowicked in the first match of the round robin tourney, so he's got something to prove. This will be an excellent match. Both men are adept at the high-flying, and both are great submission wrestlers as well. Their styles should mesh quite well. I can't remember them facing off one-on-one before, so this should be a unique experience to say the least. However, I think one major point will be the deciding factor here: this is Ophidian's first match in the tourney, and Quack's second. Quack needs a victory to keep in the running, while Ophidian can muster a loss and still stay in the hunt. So I'm going to pick Mike Quackenbush to win.<br /><br />12 Large Summit match - UltraMantis Black vs. Eddie Kingston<br /><br />I hate to say it, but even the great and devious UltraMantis Black can't stop the momentum of one Eddie Kingston. I picked Mantis to win yesterday, so he can suffer a loss and be even with just about everyone. Eddie Kingston wins.<br /><br /><br /><br />And now, for Sunday's show showdown...I present to you...<br /><br />THE EVIL THAT LIES WITHIN, PART 4<br /><br />Sugar Dunkerton vs. Ophidian<br /><br />Sugar had one of my favorite matches of the year last month against Archibald Peck. It was definitely a surprise and a sleeper hit for yours truly. Ophidian I've already discussed. Sugar hasn't had much success as a singles wrestler, but damn if he doesn't give it his all every single time. Sadly, I don't think that Sunday will be his day to win. Ophidian needs the win after his predicted loss on Saturday, and he'll get it. Nevertheless, this should be a damn fun match. Ophidian wins.<br /><br />Four Corner Elimination Match - The Olsen Twins (Colin and Jimmy) vs. Los Ice Creams (Ice Cream Jr. and El Hijo del Ice Cream) vs. The Dark Army (Obariyon and Kobald) vs. Aeroform (Louis Lyndon and Flip Kendrick)<br /><br />You know why I hated WWE multi-man or multi-tag matches? Because they were always one fall to a finish. CHIKARA does it right by having these epic elimination matches. We FINALLY get The Olsen Twins back after months away, as well as the unreal team of Louis Lyndon and Flip Kendrick. I first saw these two a couple of years ago in the Fray match that opened a Dragon Gate USA show, and I instantly became a fan of both. Lyndon is thoroughly unique, and Kendrick is ridiculously athletic. Both men can go like nobody's business. Then, we've got Los Ice Creams, the closest thing CHIKARA has to jobbers, and two members of The Dark Army, who are seemingly everywhere. Now, one of these teams could potentially walk out of this match with the three points necessary to challenge for the Campeonatos de Parejas, provided they win all three falls against their opponents. To my knowledge, that has not happened since I began watching CHIKARA. But who knows? It could happen on Sunday. We can probably count Los Ice Creams out, since I can't remember the last time they won a match. And, unless they're planning to become a more constant fixture, we can count Aeroform out (though an Aeroform/F.I.S.T. could be intriguing since Johnny Gargano teamed up with Aeroform at King of Trios 2010 before becoming part of F.I.S.T.). So that leaves us with The Olsen Twins and The Dark Army. Obariyon and Kobald have, to my knowledge, not teamed together as a regular tag team, while The Olsen Twins...well, I think you can figure that out. For this match, I'm honestly going with my heart here and picking The Olsen Twins to win, though I don't think they'll get all three points necessary to challenge for the Campeonatos. But they'll get the final fall.<br /><br />Cheech Hernandez vs. Jakob Hammermeier<br /><br />If Jakob survives his match with The Throwbacks on Saturday, he's got a tough cookie in Cheech to contend with on Sunday. Cheech is a guy I haven't seen too much, but I've enjoyed what few matches I've seen him in. He's got great sway over the crowd and a great attitude. Whether he can stop the apparently unstoppable Jakob Hammermeier is another story. Jakob's matches usually go as such: he gets the crap beaten out of him only to have someone distract or take out the ref long enough for another BDK member to destroy his opponent and drape him (Jakob) over his opponent's unconscious body and pick up the victory. Since the BDK has plenty of members on hand this weekend, it's likely that will happen yet again. My apologies, Cheech Jakob Hammermeier wins.<br /><br />Eddie Kingston vs. Hieracon<br /><br />Kingston was originally scheduled to face Brodie Lee in the main event of this show, but due to Brodie's knee injury, that match will not happen. It's too bad, too, because that would have been one hell of a main event match. Instead, we get poor Hieracon getting thrown to the wolves. Or, in this case, The War King. We all know Hieracon can take some punishment, but something tells me he won't be pinning Kingston's shoulders to the mat for a three count. Look for a serious beatdown being laid out by one Mr. Last of a Dying Breed. Eddie Kingston wins in convincing fashion.<br /><br />Dasher Hatfield vs. Tursas<br /><br />I do not envy Dasher one bit. Tursas has been defeated only a few times since his debut last year, and since adding a TOP ROPE MOONSAULT to his repetoire, Tursas is scarier than ever. Dasher is one of those guys who can take about as much abuse as anyone can dish out, but I just cannot see him winning this match. He may have defeated Brodie Lee last year, but Tursas is another monster entirely. Tursas wins.<br /><br />The Spectral Envoy (UltraMantis Black and Hallowicked) vs. The BDK (Ares and Tim Donst)<br /><br />The whole UMB/BDK thing began before I started watching CHIKARA, and I keep meaning to go back and read more about the story between these two. I've read some, but it's a very complex and detailed story. Safe to say that UMB and Ares have unfinished business, and it's even more complicated with Sinn Bodhi in the mix, though we haven't really gotten to hear much of the story unfold as of late. I'd like to know if someone is in league with someone else, or if all three factions are working for themselves, or who knows what else? Anyway, this should be one hell of a fight. But UMB is fighting a two-pronged war, and his resources will be depleted more than Ares'. I'm giving this win to the BDK. Damn, why am I picking them to win so much?<br /><br />Young Lion's Cup Championship Match - Frightmare (c) vs. Kodama<br /><br />Kodama earned this title shot by pinning Frightmare last month during a trios match. Frightmare is trying to be the first Young Lion's Cup champ to hold the title for an entire year. The only person who came close to that was Shane Storm, now known as STIGMA, who held it from YLC II to YLC III, which were eleven months apart. I will give Kodama some credit: he has gotten better as the months pass. But I still think he's a little behind Obariyon as far as in-ring polish is concerned. Kodama probably botches moves more than anyone on the CHIKARA roster, but that isn't a huge insult considering how polished the entire roster is (especially when compared to companies like CZW). I can't imagine him winning the YLC from Frightmare. Not this close to the next YLC tourney. Frightmare wins and retains the Young Lion's Cup.<br /><br />The Colony (Soldier Ant, Fire Ant, and Green Ant) and "Lightning" Mike Quackenbush vs. F.I.S.T. (Icarus, Chuck Taylor, and Johnny Gargano) and Vin Gerard<br /><br />As it says on CHIKARA's website, RELEVOS ATOMICOS! I have no idea what that means, but we've got an eight-man tag team match, and you will never hear me complain about that. Poor Vin Gerard is trying to pick up the pieces of his career after being forced to split up after losing to 3.0 last month. Oddly enough, we haven't seen 3.0 since then...anyway, Gerard will get a chance by teaming up with F.I.S.T. to take on the 2011 Kings of Trios and one half of the Campeones de Parejas. We're getting another rematch of the King of Trios final match, which I'm totally cool with. Add Gerard and Quack to the mix and it's a recipe for insanity. Atomicos matches tend to get out of hand, and they're usually famous for their multi-person submission sequences. I hope at some point we get eight guys with seven submissions chained together simultaneously. Hell, if the first guy being made to submit manages to get a hold of the eighth guy and have a crazy circular eight-man submission, I could die happy. Anyway, this should be fast, furious, and fun match to watch. And I want to see the weekend end on a positive note. So I'll pick The Colony and Mike Quackenbush to win. Better luck next time, Vin.<br /><br /><br /><br />And so ends another insane three-day weekend spectacular in CHIKARA. Makes me want to try to get a job with them so I can go to these shows instead of experiencing them on DVD. Anyone know if CHIKARA is hiring? *wink*<br /><br />Okay, that's it for me for now. But I'll be back for CHIKARASAURUS REX weekend, if not sooner. Keep cool in this unbearable summer heat, kids.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-27774986018766282832011-06-24T10:14:00.000-07:002011-06-24T11:42:15.273-07:00Episode 20 - Three! Three! Three Shows In One!(To be said in Yakko Warner's voice) "It's that time again." Time for another CHIKARA weekend spectacular showcase extravaganza! With the sheer number of shows they've been putting on this year, it's getting tougher and tougher to fit their three-day-weekend shows into one episode. I'll try to do so today, seeing as how I meant to do a write-up yesterday but got totally sidetracked by various other things. Anyway, I thought this weekend was Chikarasaurus Rex weekend, but it turns out that's next month. That is a trio of shows I am looking forward to almost as much as I did King of Trios. But let's get to this month's shows first.<br /><br />There is one very unfortunate injury to report: Brodie Lee was hurt during a recent Dragon Gate USA show, and will probably be out of action for a while. This puts the highly anticipated Lee/Kingston match off and takes Lee out of the 12 Large Summit. I wish him a speedy recovery.<br /><br />Now, to make up for the loss of the Big Rig of the CHIKARA roster, the matches already set up had to be shuffled around a little. But the cards still look great, so let's take a looksee.<br /><br />The Case of the Bulletproof Waldo<br /><br />The Throwbacks (Sugar Dunkerton, Dasher Hatfield, and Matt Classic) vs. The Dark Army (Obariyon, Kodama, and Kobald)<br /><br />*clears throat* Ahem...MATT CLASSIC IN THE HOUSE! He is once again paired with The Throwbacks in a...well...throwback...to last year's King of Trios. Dunkerton, Hatfield, and the 87-year veteran of professional wrestling will take on the dangerous trio known as the Dark Army. Obariyon and Kodama gained a victory over the Throwbacks last month at Anniversario, and I'm sure the Throwbacks are looking to even the score. Matt Classic is a bit of a wild card, though, as he's been known to be somewhat unreliable in tag team matches. Some people question whether he actually knows what a tag team is. But he is a dangerous man when inside the squared circle, so the Dark Army had better watch out. Kobald is also a wild card, always running around and interfering in other peoples' business...Anyway, I'd imagine this to be a pretty back and forth affair, hopefully including some classic Matt Classic high-flying maneuvers. You know, I'm not sure Matt Classic has ever won a match in CHIKARA...but I think that streak may come to an end today. I'll take The Throwbacks to win.<br /><br />The Osirian Portal (Ophidian and Hieracon) vs. Emperador and Ripper<br /><br />Unfortunately, I know absolutely nothing about Emperador and Ripper besides the fact that they work for GALLI Lucha Libre. But they're luchadores, and that usually means that they're good workers. On the other side of the ring, Hieracon continues to fill in for the injured Amasis. While Hieracon has been doing better in the ring, he doesn't quite yet have the chemistry that Ophidian had with Amasis. Still, they are a formidable tag team with points towards the Campeonatos de Parejas. And I can't see them losing said points to a team that's probably in CHIKARA for one night only. Still, it should be an interesting matchup. The Osirian Portal wins.<br /><br />Eddie Kingston vs. Colt Cabana<br /><br />This match could be epic. And I don't use that word very often anymore (mostly because it's been completely overused by the general public). I don't think I've looked forward to an advertised match this much since Kingston vs. El Generico. And I think (for those of you who know the not-so-well-kept secret about Cabana) you will understand why I picked the Throwbacks to win: I don't see Cabana taking two losses in one night. I also don't see him taking two wins in one night. Sorry, Colt, but this match is going to the War King. Eddie Kingston wins.<br /><br />Side note: I'm a little saddened that CHIKARA seems to be going toward a more generic music feel. Maybe they aren't able to use the songs they used to use under Fair Use anymore. All I'm saying is I'm royally disappointed that Eddie Kingston isn't using the instrumental version of that Jay-Z sample of The Ecstasy of Gold anymore. Moving on...<br /><br />The Colony (Soldier Ant and Green Ant) vs. F.I.S.T. (Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano)<br /><br />We're getting a rematch of sorts from this year's King of Trios finals. Since both Fire Ant and Icarus are in 12 Large Summit matches, these teams are going at it in a traditional tag match. Well, a traditional CHIKARA tag match, that is. I'd have to imagine that F.I.S.T. still holds a grudge against the Colony for preventing them (F.I.S.T.) from becoming two-time Kings of Trios. And everybody holds a grudge against F.I.S.T. for...well...being F.I.S.T. Anyway, these are two of CHIKARA's most well-established teams with a long history, and they always put on a good match, be it against each other or other opponents. So this match should be no different. I'm sure Chuck Taylor is stinging from two losses at Anniversario, so he's probably wanting a win more than anyone else. And that's why I think this match will be won by F.I.S.T.<br /><br />Da Soul Touchaz (Marshe Rockett, Acid Jaz, and Willie Richardson) vs. the BDK (Ares, Tursas, and Tim Donst)<br /><br />We haven't seen DST in CHIKARA in a while, but they still aren't done with the BDK. I'm a little surprised (but not disappointed) that this feud has lasted for about eight months. I'm glad it gives DST something to do in CHIKARA. They are three very talented men who probably could move up to bigger and better things were it not for this nagging feud they have with the BDK. I think if they get a win, they might get some closure from the events that transpired late last year. Maybe if they win, they'll get a more permanent spot on the CHIKARA roster, and maybe a spot in next year's King of Trios...I hope that's the case, anyway. So I'm going with my heart here and picking Da Soul Touchaz to win this bout.<br /><br />12 Large Summit match - Sara Del Rey vs. Icarus<br /><br />Two of the most despised heels on the CHIKARA roster will battle it out to see who gets their first win in the 12 Large Summit. Some people (namely the face commentators) are questioning how anyone other than Claudio Castagnoli got any votes to get into this tourney, and we don't know yet how Sara garnered enough votes to get in. But this just proves that she's that damn awesome. And you know what? As much as I like to root against the BDK, I like to root against anyone from F.I.S.T. even more. So I'm picking Sara Del Rey to win this match, because I want to see her kick Icarus' freaking head off.<br /><br />12 Large Summit match - Fire Ant vs. UltraMantis Black<br /><br />Both men are also competing in their first 12 Large Summit match, and getting points early is a key to moving on. And in a contrast to the previous match, both Fire Ant and UMB are painfully over with the crowd. Mantis had an awesome bout with Chuck Taylor that saw them fighting in a park for a couple of minutes and a chop war that lasted far longer than any chop war I've seen (save that insane chop war between Kobashi and Sasaki - go look it up). I'm expecting this to be a fairly fast-paced affair, with lots of high spots from Fire Ant and a fair bit of offense from the devious one himself. But who wins? Out of the two, I honestly think Mantis has a better shot of getting further in the tourney, and since he's got a monstrous challenge the next day, I'm thinking he gets some points today. UltraMantis Black wins.<br /><br />12 Large Summit match - Claudio Castagnoli vs. Hallowicked<br /><br />Hallowicked was the first person to win a 12 Large Summit match, besting Mike Quackenbush in an excellent match at Anniversario. But Claudio is another story entirely. The contest between Quack and Wicked was a spirited affair, since both men are friends and compatriots. This bout, however, will be brutal, filled with hate and anger, a true knock-down drag-out fight to the bitter end. Hallowicked may have won the first match in the tourney, but I don't think he'll make it to the finals. I've already hedged my bets that Claudio vs. Kingston will be the final match of this tourney (to put the final nail in their feud's coffin), and for that to happen, Claudio needs to win his matches. So I'm picking Claudio Castagnoli to win.<br /><br />And that's today's (Friday) show. Now let's move on to Saturday's show:<br /><br />A Demon in His Pocket<br /><br />CLASH Special Attraction match - Cameron Skyy and Too Sweet vs. Gavin Quinn and The H3RD<br /><br />I've only heard (no pun intended) of Cameron Skyy, who was a participant in last year's Young Lion's Cup tournament. And sine I've never seen a CLASH show, I'm totally in the dark here. So I'll just pick the guy I've heard of to win. Awful practice, I know. Cameron Skyy and Too Sweet win. I need to watch more independent stuff...<br /><br />Hieracon vs. Vin Gerard<br /><br />Despite losing his tag team partner of quite some time, STIGMA, Vin Gerard probably has to feel pretty good about defeating Brodie Lee in a 12 Large Summit match last month. And now that Lee is out of the tourney due to an injury, Gerard can claim that he's the only man who can lay claim to defeating Brodie in the tournament. Or something silly like that. This isn't a tournament match, but it should be a good match nonetheless. And I think that Vin needs the singles victory more than Hieracon, since Vin needs to get some momentum built up as a singles competitor now that the UnStable is no more. So I'm picking Vin Gerard to win. Eew, I think I need to take a shower after making that pick...<br /><br />The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield and Sugar Dunkerton) vs. The BDK (Tim Donst and Jakob Hammermeier)<br /><br />I'm actually a little disturbed at how many wins Jakob has. A small part of me wonders if this is just to get back at Lince Dorado for no-showing a couple of events (a fact I did not know about until recently, which explains why Dorado is no longer a part of CHIKARA (which is disappointing to me since I rather liked watching him get the crap beaten out of him on a regular basis (See: The Extremely Hilarious Deaths of Lince Dorado on the Youtubes))). I hope that isn't the case. Anyway, Hammermeier's gimmick of announcing himself, then running to the back and walking out all proud like he just got introduced by someone else is still hilarious to me. And while he isn't the greatest wrestler in the company, he's got the heel schtick down perfectly. He wears a vest and tie down to the ring, and always uses them to choke his opponents. He's actually very good for a man with limited in-ring academics. Anyway, I've blabbed on about Jakob for longer than most announcers will during a match of his. I don't think The Throwbacks will be winning two matches in two days, unfortunately. The BDK wins this match.<br /><br />Gregory Iron vs. Icarus<br /><br />Iron has been champing at the bit to get revenge on Icarus for months. He gets his shot on Saturday. And as much as I want to see him win, I just don't think it's going to happen while Icarus is part of the 12 Large Summit. Maybe once Icarus is eliminated from the tourney, Iron will get his revenge. But this time, I think Icarus gains the victory.<br /><br /><br /><br />Okay, after some thought, I've decided to break this episode into two so I can retain some semblance of sanity. Also so this episode isn't twelve thousand words long. So stay tuned for part two, which will be posted either tonight or tomorrow!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-90832267615909306532011-05-20T19:47:00.000-07:002011-05-21T11:54:31.632-07:00Episode 19 - CHIKARA's Anniversario Weekend SpectacularThis episode of the Rantables Wrestling Blog is dedicated to the Macho Man Randy Savage. The last famous person whose death I felt this way about was George Carlin. You will be missed, Macho. This one's for you.<br /><br /><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7AtDarCLRWQ?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" width="480" frameborder="0" height="390"></iframe><br /><br />Since this weekend is kind of busy for me, I'm writing this while listening to Unplugged on the SNS Radio Network. This episode will be (relatively) brief, since I've got more important things to do. Let's start with Saturday's show:<br /><br />ANNIVERSARIO AND HIS AMAZING FRIENDS<br /><br />Hieracon vs. Brodie Lee<br /><br />This is probably the biggest mismatch in a while for CHIKARA. Brodie has been nothing short of spectacular this year. His performance at Dragon Gate USA's iPPV in April was probably the best I've ever seen him. Hieracon, on the other hand, has been working his way up the ranks in CHIKARA, and being part of the Osirian Portal helps greatly. And with Amasis on the sidelines for an indeterminate amount of time, Hieracon will likely take over as Ophidian's tag team partner. But this is singles competition, and I have a bad feeling that this may be a warm-up for Brodie for his match on Sunday. I'm looking forward to seeing the contrast in styles, but when it all boils down, this match is going to go to BRODIE LEE.<br /><br />UltraMantis Black vs. Chuck Taylor<br /><br />Admittedly, I'm not sure what brought about this match. Unless these two have history dating back before 2010, of course. I need to learn me some CHIKARA history. Anyway, lack of a reason for this match notwithstanding, UMB and Chucky T are two consummate performers and should put on a good match. Both of their respective Trios are stinging from losses at King of Trios this year (UMB in the first round, Taylor in the finals), and I'd bet that they want to get their teams up and running again. However, UMB has something that Taylor doesn't: an outside feud that may distract him. Or UMB could use that feud as a motivation to tear through the Kentucky Gentleman en route to his Trios match the following day against The Dark Army. It's a toss-up, which is one of the reasons I love CHIKARA: not one match is predictable. Anyway, I think this match is going to go to ULTRAMANTIS BLACK, if for no other reason than he needs the win to get some momentum going into Sunday's bout with Sinn Bodhi and the Batiri.<br /><br />And speaking of the Batiri...<br /><br />The Throwbacks vs. The Batiri<br /><br />Last month, during the Tag Team Gauntlet match, Dasher Hatfield and Sugar Dunkerton eliminated Obariyon and Kodama from the match in about a minute. This, however, came after the Batiri had what could be considered a normal-length match against Arik Cannon and Darin Corbin, so it wasn't a huge surprise to see the Throwbacks take the Batiri down. Both teams are looking to get into the title hunt, and a win today would give either of them their first point. Since only one team (that being Harada and Kotoge) has the three points necessary to challenge for the Campeonatos de Parejas, getting another team started towards that goal is very important. And you know what? I think The Throwbacks deserve a shot. So I'm going with THE THROWBACKS to win this match.<br /><br />Eddie Kingston vs. Sinn Bodhi<br /><br />This could be a very intriguing match. A clash of...well, just about everything. The War King vs. The Warlord of Weird. I listened to the Art of Wrestling podcast with Bodhi a couple of weeks ago, and I was surprised at how soft-spoken he is outside the ring. I doubt Kingston is ever soft-spoken, but it doesn't really matter all that much. Kingston is probably the hardest-hitting man on the CHIKARA roster, so it should be fun to see if Bodhi can stand up to the punishment Kingston hands out every month. Though the reverse could also be true. This should be an interesting match for sure. But betting on Eddie Kingston is almost a sure thing these days. Usually, I would consider that a bad thing, but it's Eddie Freakin' Kingston. If you haven't guessed it by now, I'll say it in capital letters: EDDIE KINGSTON for the win.<br /><br />Frightmare vs. Archibald Peck<br /><br />After a somewhat unexpected debut a couple of months ago, Archibald Peck has actually started to grow on me. He had a good match with Colt Cabana at King of Trios, and he proved he's pretty good on the mic when he called a match that same weekend. But this could be his most important match yet. Frightmare is still the Young Lions Cup Champion, and it looks like he'll make it the whole year without losing it. Just three months stand between him and history. If Peck wins this match, he could either be in line for a title shot down the line or get a spot in this year's YLC tournament. Even though his gimmick is still a little silly to me, I am liking Peck more each time I see him. And whomever is booking Peck's matches is making sure he's going up against some of the best right from the start. I'm just not sure he can pull off a victory today. I'll pick FRIGHTMARE to win this match.<br /><br />The Colony & Madison Eagles vs. The BDK (Ares, Pinkie Sanchez, Jakob Hammermeier, and Daizee Haze)<br /><br />The leader of the BDK makes his return to CHIKARA after several months away, and goes right for the top: The 2011 King of Trios Champions, The Colony. I'm still a little surprised that Jakob Hammermeier is working so many matches. You'd think that the BDK would send out guys who are, well, better thank him. But I suppose having Tursas run in nearly every time helps. Madison Eagles has definitely earned her spot on the CHIKARA roster, and should be a strong teammate to The Colony. I suppose this all comes down to whether Jakob is reliable enough to not get himself knocked out before the match ends. And I can't imagine having the new King of Trios Champions losing just one month removed from their victory. So, I'm picking THE COLONY & MADISON EAGLES to win, further splintering the BDK.<br /><br />3.0 vs. The UnStable<br /><br />Well, I had a paragraph written up before I noticed that there was a stipulation attached to this match: the losing team can never team up again. That certainly puts a new spin on this match. Yikes. Although, now that I think about it, there's probably a good reason for this. Tag teams don't break up very often in CHIKARA. I think the last time that happened was at Through Savage Progress Cuts the Jungle Line, when both The UnStable and The Future is Now sort of dissolved simultaneously. Anyway, I think it would be pure foolishness to break up 3.0, as they work so well together that splitting them up would be nothing short of a travesty. The UnStable, on the other hand, may very well be nearing the end of their tenure together. Vin Gerard is part of the 12 Large: Summit, whereas STIGMA is not. This could be the beginning of a singles run for Gerard, or possibly a feud between he and STIGMA. But that remains to be seen. I'm going with my heart here and picking 3.0 to win. I just couldn't bear to see them split up.<br /><br />12 Large: Summit Match - Mike Quackenbush vs. Hallowicked<br /><br />The first match in the round-robin 12 Large: Summit could not be a better way to kick off the run to the CHIKARA World Championship. Mike Quackenbush takes on his protege, and a Gen 1 CHIKARA wrestler, Hallowicked. If there's one match I'm looking most forward to this weekend, it's this one. It's already been established that both of these men can go, and go they will today. Quack is simply a scholar in the ring, and Hallowicked is as dangerous as they come. Since this is a round-robin tournament, one loss is probably tolerable, so whichever man loses today, he still has a good chance to move on. I'm expecting these two to tear the house down. But only one man can win, and tonight, I'm going with what some may consider an upset. I'm picking HALLOWICKED to win this match. Why? Because Quack still is one half of the Campeones de Parejas, and until the World Champion is crowned, the Campeonatos are still the most prestigious titles in CHIKARA. Hallowicked isn't as focused in the tag division, so a win makes sense.<br /><br />And now, for Sunday's show...<br /><br />ANNIVERSARIO: THE LEGENDARY SUPER POWERS SHOW<br /><br />Dasher Hatfield vs. Jakob Hammermeier<br /><br />Huh. Jakob is getting more matches than nearly every other member of the BDK. How odd. I suppose it isn't bad if they're trying to build him up as a singles competitor despite the fact that he hasn't really done much of anything in the ring besides get the crap beaten out of him only to have Tursas run in and win the match for him. But hey, he's won more matches in the past couple of months than anyone else in the BDK, so that's gotta mean something, right? Right? Yeah, probably not. I'd love to see Dasher beat the snot out of Jakob, and that will probably happen. But outside interference has been the name of the game for Jakob, and I'm betting it'll happen again. So I'm foolishly picking JAKOB HAMMERMEIER to win this match.<br /><br />Hieracon vs. Grizzly Redwood<br /><br />The description of this match on the CHIKARA website is "The Tiny Titans Collide!" I love that. Both guys are maybe 5'6", maybe 160 pounds, but they fight like they're a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier. Hieracon is a devastating high-flyer, and Grizzly is one of the best at chopping down his foes. I am definitely looking forward to this match. I can't see Hieracon being 100% after having a match with Grizz's partner, Brodie Lee, the night before, and I think Grizz will take advantage of that. Hieracon's in for a tough weekend. GRIZZLY REDWOOD wins.<br /><br />Sugar Dunkerton vs. Archibald Peck<br /><br />Peck is getting two matches this weekend, which is a first to my recollection. And Sugar is a definite change of pace after Frightmare the night before. Sugar's been on a bit of a losing streak as of late, and I think he's in desperate need of some wins. Oddly enough, I picked both of these guys to win their respective matches on Saturday's show, so it's a pure guess as to who wins on Sunday. So I'll just go with SUGAR DUNKERTON to win.<br /><br />The Colony vs. The S.A.T.'s<br /><br />Wow, I wasn't expecting to see The Amazing Red and Los Maximos back in CHIKARA so soon, but here they are. And they haev a tall task ahead of them, taking on The Colony. Both teams have been together for a while, and they each have undeniable chemistry. How well will the teams mix, though? That remains to be seen. I hate to do it (I don't, really), but right now, I can't pick against The Colony, so I'm going with them, just like I did for Saturday's show. THE COLONY wins, but it should be a great match.<br /><br />Eddie Kingston vs. Chuck Taylor<br /><br />Sad to say Chucky T is probably just a small roadblock on Eddie Kingston's road to the 12 Large: Summit. I really like Taylor, but this is Kingston's weekend. Yep, this is a short description, I know, but it's probably the easiest match of the week to call. EDDIE KINGSTON wins.<br /><br />The Spectral Envoy vs. The Dark Army<br /><br />This feud continues its slow build. I'm wondering whether or not Sinn Bodhi is actually in cahoots with the BDK, since it has been alluded to on several occasions. And with UltraMantis Black's history with the BDK, this could get very convoluted very quickly. But the main question right now is who wins this match? This is the first time that this particular match is taking place, and it may determine who has the upper hand in the future. Who knows? I have a feeling that Bodhi and Co. have something devious planned for this match, and because they don't feel the need to obey the rules, I'm picking THE DARK ARMY to win.<br /><br />12 Large: Summit Match - Brodie Lee vs. Vin Gerard<br /><br />Man, Vin Gerard is gonna have a tough weekend. 3.0 on Saturday, and the Big Rig Brodie Lee on Sunday. I'd like to think he could persevere, but I don't see him standing up to Lee. Yep, another quick description and a win for BRODIE LEE.<br /><br />Well, that's it for Anniversario Weekend. Thanks for reading, and I'll be back when I can.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-652192556347824932011-05-17T11:20:00.000-07:002011-05-17T11:57:05.364-07:00Episode 18 - "The Look"Wow, it's been quite some time since I wrote anything that isn't a picks or results episode, hasn't it? I think the last one was the end of year awards. Damn, five months without any really original content? I feel bad. Anyway, this episode could not have happened without the help of one JJ Sexay of the SNS Radio Network. So I have to thank him for that.<br /><br />You see, last night, I was listening to Wrestling News Live, which I try to catch every Monday night (and you should too, because it's a damn good show). And near the end of the show, the hosts, JJ and Trey, were discussing WWE Smackdown and Christian's two-day World Title reign, when JJ made the following (paraphrased) statement: "Christian wouldn't fit as a World Champion because he doesn't have 'The Look.'" He went on to discuss how Christian wouldn't be a believable World Champion because he is "smaller" than most of the guys he'd end up facing (Sheamus, Mark Henry, etc.), and if he packed on some muscle, he'd be a more believable champion. I nearly blew a gasket hearing that. Now, JJ has been in the industry and stated that he "knows how the business works." But I cannot agree with that sentiment.<br /><br />You see, as I've been hearing many times over the past couple of weeks, wrestling is a subjective business. Some people perceive it one way, others will perceive it however they want. And it's obvious that JJ and I do not perceive wrestling the same way. It's almost as though he's been brainwashed like so many people have into thinking that the most believable champions are the guys who look like they've spent half their lives in a gym and the other half purchasing steroids. Vince McMahon's "ideal" wrestler (oh, sorry, I mean ENTERTAINER) is tall, tan, and buff. If a guy isn't 6'4", 275 pounds, and has testicles the size of raisins, you can bet that he won't get much of a push at all, let alone a World Title reign that lasts more than three weeks. And don't start with the whole, "But John Cena's only billed at 240, so your argument is flawd HURF DURF." Cena is a former bodybuilder, and he sells merchandise like there's no tomorrow, so of course he's going to be at the top of the company. He still has most of "The Look" that Vince seems to have a perma-boner for. And when there are guys like Mason Ryan, who can't work a five minute match to save his life, on TV every week, but guys like Primo are relegated to the C-show at best, you know something is wrong with the company.<br /><br />To me, wrestling should emphasize feats of athleticism over feats of strength, intelligence over brawn, memorable characters instead of memorable physiques. That's why I love CHIKARA: they entertain the fans through excellent wrestling, not soap opera-style storytelling that ends up making no sense and never having a proper conclusion. But the main reason I love CHIKARA is that just about anyone who wants to be in the ring can be in the ring. Look at Eddie Kingston. The guy looks like Joe Schlub, a true everyman. Yet I consider him to be the best wrestler in the world today because he has the three characteristics I mentioned earlier: intelligence, athleticism, and charisma. He doesn't have to look like he was chiseled out of granite to be entertaining, because he entertains through his in-ring work. Kingston is a master of telling a story in the ring, and he can work with anyone and have a good match. When you look at the competition he's had over the last year (Christopher Daniels, Bryan Danielson, Tommy Dreamer, Homicide, El Generico, Claudio Castagnoli, Akira Tozawa, etc.), that is one of the most diverse resumes in the entire world. Yet he always has a good match. And the last thing you think about when you watch one of his matches is, "Oh, man, that guy does not LOOK like World Champion material."<br /><br />The point I'm trying to make here (in case you haven't gotten it already) is that it does not matter whether or not you have the Vince McMahon prototypical bodybuilder physique. If you can entertain the fans, you can be a credible World Champion. Christian is one of the most popular WWE guys with the fans, has a distinctive look, and has the Big Three traits. But you're discounting him as a World Champion just because he doesn't weigh 250 pounds? That's ludicrous.<br /><br />I will mention that in the chatroom I said something to the effect of, "Size should not discount someone from being a World Champion." To which JJ retorted, "Well, what about Hornswoggle as a champ?" I did not reply to that, because it is an asinine statement to mane, but I will respond here: If Dylan Postl (the man who portrays Hornswoggle) were not burdened with a galactically stupid gimmick and given proper training, then even he could be considered World Champion material. At least, in theory he could be. Unfortunately, I have no idea if he has the Big Three traits, as his gimmick has all but cursed him out of ever being taken seriously in the business. By JJ's logic, guys like Bryan Danielson, Evan Bourne, and Yoshi Tatsu will never be credible or believable World Champions. Just because someone doesn't fit YOUR ideal "Look" doesn't mean that they don't fit everybody's ideal of what a World Champion can be.<br /><br />With all that being said, I bear no grudge against Mr. Sexay or anyone at the SNS Radio Network. I am a loyal listener, and this will not stop me from listening to their shows for as long as I care to. I just felt like I really needed to get this off my chest before I either exploded or forgot what I was going to write about. If you don't like my opinion, then we can agree to disagree. Opinions are like assholes: everyone has one. That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.<br /><br />Well, I feel a lot better now. Thanks for reading, and I'll be back soon with picks for CHIKARA's Anniversario weekend spectacular!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-23750580975532464262011-05-13T13:34:00.001-07:002011-05-14T13:44:00.248-07:00Episode 17 - Engulfed in a Fever of Spite!Two things before I begin this episode.<br /><br />First, I want everyone reading to wish Amasis of the Osirian Portal a speedy and full recovery. He was seriously hurt this week in a non-wrestling related accident, and is out indefinitely. I hope for a full recovery for you, Amasis. Get well soon!<br /><br />Second, I would like to apologize to anyone who has been waiting for reviews of CHIKARA events over the past few months. I keep meaning to rewatch these shows and take notes in order to give you the best reviews possible, but I'm always getting sidetracked by other things in life. Rest assured, though, when I get all of my shit together, you can bet that I'll be doing a lot of reviews. I was recently informed (through Colt Cabana's awesome Art of Wrestling podcast) that there is a website that offers hundreds, if not thousands, of wrestling DVDs from Japan for insanely low prices. We're talking about $3 per DVD. And they've got a ton of classic Japanese stuff dating back to the early 1980's. And, according to Colt, if you use the promo code Colt Cabana, you get 40% off your order. So you're getting a ton of classic Japanese (and global) wrestling for less than $2 per show. Or, at least, the discount was around as of two or three weeks ago...I haven't checked to see if it's still applicable. Still, $3 for some great classic wrestling is a steal, so I'll probably be grabbing a bunch of stuff from there so I can steep myself in classic puro.<br /><br />Okay, on to the show. I wasn't aware that there was a CHIKARA show this weekend until about two days ago. The timing is a little awkward, as next weekend is Anniversario weekend, so we're getting three shows in a week. But this is their debut show in North Carolina, and looking at the card, it seems to be a pretty solid show. So let's get down to picks, shall we?<br /><br />The Kamakazi Kid vs. Tim Donst<br /><br />I did a very quick search on The Youtubes for any matches featuring The Kamakazi Kid, but I could not find anything. Actually, I first looked up Kamikaze Kid, since that's what was written on CHIKARA's website, but that leads to an entirely different wrestler. So I know nothing about The Kamakazi Kid except that he wrestles for CWF Mid-Atlantic and CHIKARA is invading CWF this weekend. Or, actually, I think they're doing a show tonight. So that's that. More often than not, when you have someone from outside CHIKARA facing someone from CHIKARA, the home team wins. And since Donst is trying to prove himself as a great singles wrestler in case the BDK folds, I'll go ahead and pick Tim Donst to pick up this victory.<br /><br />Daizee Haze vs. Grizzly Redwood<br /><br />Ah, a battle of CHIKARA's smallest competitors. This should be interesting. At King of Trios, during the Tag Team Gauntlet match, Grizzly's team eliminated Daizee's team, also costing Daizee two points in the process. So I'd imagine Daizee is out for revenge. And it will definitely matter if either Brodie Lee or any member of the BDK are at ringside, since both are wont to interfere on their partner's behalf. Will Daizee gain her revenge? I think she might. Daizee Haze wins this match.<br /><br />Mike Quackenbush and Frightmare vs. F.I.S.T. (Icarus and Johnny Gargano)<br /><br />(NOTE: The rest of this episode is being written on Saturday)<br /><br />For some reason, I don't have anything to say about this match other than it should be entertaining as always. F.I.S.T. wins.<br /><br />UltraMantis Black vs. Tursas<br /><br />UMB continues his war with the BDK and the Dark Army, who at last check seemed to be in cahoots with each other. But his task is a tall one, as he takes on the largest member of the CHIKARA roster. While Tursas is a mighty foe indeed, it's been proven that he is beatable, albeit by a superhuman effort on the part of one Eddie Kingston. Will Mantis be able to overcome the odds? I can't see it happening today. Tursas wins.<br /><br />The Throwbacks vs. The Osirian Portal<br /><br />I'm not sure how this match is going to work, as Amasis was scheduled for this match. Will Hieracon take his place, or will someone else be Amasis' substitute? This is a battle between two of CHIKARA's tecnico teams, and with points in play, a win is always important. I believe that neither team has any points towards Campeonatos contention, so this could be the first step towards a title shot for either team. I'm not sure if the Throwbacks are done with the Roughnecks just yet, but with Amasis out, unless Hieracon takes his place for the foreseeable future, the Portal may go in for a cooldown period. So I'll pick The Throwbacks to win.<br /><br />Hallowicked vs. Delirious<br /><br />The former founding members of Incoherence collide! These are two seasoned ring vets, and they should put on a great show. Delirious' loyalty to Ares and the BDK looks to be straining, having been face to face with UltraMantis Black last month, and facing Hallowicked today could stir more memories in the clouded mind of the insane luchador. Could we see the first man to leave the BDK? Probably not today, but it could happen soon. I think Hallowicked gets the win here, and Delirious loses a little more of his connection to the BDK.<br /><br />Eddie Kingston vs. Jakob Hammermeier<br /><br />Jakob's two wins in CHIKARA have both been under dubious circumstances (read: outside interference from the BDK). But said interference backfired at Night 2 of King of Trios, when Tursas ca-RUSH-ed him with a flying crossbody. He cost the BDK's only Trio their shot at winning the trophy. Now, one wonders: is he being thrown to the wolves (or, in this case, the War King), or will he have back-up? I'm sure every person in the Mid-Atlantic Sportatorium, as well as every person who buys CHIKARA DVDs from Smart Mark Video want to see Jakob get his just desserts, much like I'm sure everyone who watches WWE wants Michael Cole to get his. But where WWE fails, CHIKARA delivers. I think today, Jakob's gonna get his freaking head punched in. Eddie Kingston destroys Jakob Hammermeier.<br /><br />The Colony vs. The Batiri<br /><br />I'm sure The Colony are riding high after their victory at King of Trios last month. Today, they have to face the team that they eliminated on Night 1 of the tournament. Only Kobald is replacing Sinn Bodhi. Without Bodhi, I'm not sure the Batiri are as strong as they are with him, but Kobald has proven to be a dastardly little devil in his short tenure. I'm sure The Batiri are anxious to gain revenge against the team that ousted them from King of Trios earlier than I expected. But, in all honesty, I think The Colony are riding a wave of momentum that cannot be stopped right now. So, I'm going with The Colony to win.<br /><br />And there you have it. Sorry I kind of rushed the last 3/4 of the picks. Hopefully, next week's Anniversario picks episode will be more in-depth. So be sure to join me in a week's time for that. Until then, stay cool.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-54924998385138778122011-04-23T21:54:00.000-07:002011-04-23T21:58:10.334-07:00King of Trios Mini-UpdateAfter having viewed all three nights of King of Trios 2011, I will say a couple of things. First, there is no way I could possibly cover the entire three-day spectacle in one episode, so I will be giving each night its own episode. Second, I will say that CHIKARA and Smart Mark Video outdid themselves by releasing the entirety of the tournament less than a day after the whole shebang had concluded. And finally, I will say this about the event itself: King of Trios 2010 is what got me initially hooked to CHIKARA, and King of Trios 2011 has made me a fan for life and given me hope for the professional wrestling community. If you have $50 to spare, for the love of (insert deity or lack thereof), BUY THESE SHOWS! I promise you, you will not be disappointed. It's the best wrestling show(s) I've ever seen. Look for three in-depth episodes coming in the next few days.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-79347190223402356582011-04-14T19:39:00.000-07:002011-04-14T21:49:07.954-07:00Episode 16 - King of Trios 2011Before I begin today's epic episode, I very briefly would like to discuss two rather major news stories in the world of professional wrestling. First is the death of Larry Sweeney, and second is the retirement of Edge.<br /><br />While I never saw Larry Sweeney perform aside from a brief return to CHIKARA in October of last year, I am nonetheless saddened by the news of his passing. The wrestling community has had an outpouring of messages discussing Sweeney and his superb talent. It makes me want to find some old footage of him just to see what everyone is talking about. I read a very heartfelt note from Bryce Remsburg on his Facebook page where he shared a couple of stories of Sweeney, and it made his death hit home just that much more. So even though I never knew Larry Sweeney, either personally or as an entertainer, I will mourn his death like I do all the wrestling names that mean something to me. Rest in peace, Mr. Sweeney. You will be missed.<br /><br />Just a few days later, the wrestling world lost another of its best talents. Adam Copeland, better known as Edge, retired on Monday. He cited a very serious medical condition as one of the big factors for his retirement. But while I am saddened to hear about his sudden retirement, I am extremely happy for him at the same time. Edge has done what very few people can claim to have done: he is an 11-time world champion and has held over 30 WWE titles over his career. He was one of the longest-tenured WWE wrestlers as of Monday, and is one of the very few people to span both the Attitude Era and the current PG Era. His retirement will leave a huge opening for a new main eventer, and I truly hope that WWE doesn't completely fuck this situation up.<br /><br />Okay, now that the big news items are out of the way, it's time for the biggest tournament in wrestling history: CHIKARA's King of Trios 2011! The build for this tournament has been nothing short of outstanding, and with talents from all over the world, this should prove to be one of the best wrestling shows of the year, hands down. King of Trios 2010 is what got me into CHIKARA in the first place, and it's going to be a great one-year anniversary for me, that's for sure.<br /><br />Since most of the matches over the three-day extravaganza will be determined by matches from Night One, it's going to be very difficult to do any sort of predictions as to who will win what matches on Nights Two and Three. But, thanks to CHIKARA's website, I can at least speculate who I think will be involved in the matches already announced. But first, let's look at the 16 three-man teams involved in King of Trios, as well as the first-round match-ups.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Team Dragon Gate (Akira Tozawa, KAGETORA, and Super Shisa)</span> - Sadly, I meant to prepare myself for this show by watching matches with every member of every team, but thanks to being very busy for the past week, I was unable to do so. However, I know for a fact that Akira Tozawa is an outstanding athlete, having competed at last year's Young Lion's Cup (where he was the last man eliminated in Night One's semi-final match), and putting on what I would consider the match of the night at Dragon Gate USA's Mercury Rising 2011 iPPV event two weeks ago against PAC. The Dragon Gate style of wrestling isn't exactly my favorite type of wrestling, but I cannot doubt that these three competitors are all very talented.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">vs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Spectral Envoy (UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked, and Young Lion's Cup Champion Frightmare)</span> - It would appear that the long-standing feud between Mantis and Hallowicked has been called off for the present, as UMB continues his war with Sinn Bodhi and the Dark Army. Mantis and Hallowicked are part of CHIKARA's first graduating class of wrestlers, and the experience they have will for sure factor in. Tack on the frenetic Frightmare, and you've got a very formidable team. And since this is a first round match, I think I'm going to have to <span style="font-weight: bold;">give the win to The Spectral Envoy</span>, if only because I really want to see them tangle with the Dark Army later in the tournament.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Team Australia (Kabel, Percy T., and Tama Williams)</span> - I know nothing about any of these guys, and considering who they're facing in round one, I wouldn't be surprised if they made a quick exit.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">vs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">F.I.S.T. (Icarus, Chuck Taylor, and Johnny Gargano)</span> - We haven't seen F.I.S.T. team up since January, where they lost to the seemingly unbeatable Osirian Portal. Since then, Icarus has gone on a pretty strong singles run. But with the group united once more, I can't imagine them losing in the first round. However, I still wonder what has happened to the former third member of this team, Gran Akuma, who has not appeared in CHIKARA in quite some time. However, unless he shows up on Friday, I cannot see F.I.S.T. losing in round one. Therefore, I am picking <span style="font-weight: bold;">F.I.S.T. to win this match</span> and move on.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Team Michinoku Pro (The Great Sasuke, Jinsei Shinzaki, and Dick Togo)</span> - Michinoku Pro was one of the puroresu promotions hit hardest by the disasters in Japan. For a while, Shinzaki was living out of his car, having lost both his home and his business. So this team is, by far, my sentimental pick to win the whole thing. This team has nearly 60 years of wrestling experience. That's SIXTY. No other team in this tournament can even come close to that number. And all three of these guys can go like nobody's business. Expect nothing less than a stellar performance from this team.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">vs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Team Minnesota (Arik Cannon, Darin Corbin, and the 1-2-3 Kid)</span> - Were these guys not facing Michinoku Pro in the first round, I would have considered them a favorite to move to at least Saturday's show. Arik Cannon is pretty darn good for a guy his size, and even though he's getting up there in age, you can't discount Sean Waltman. Why he's bringing back the 1-2-3 Kid gimmick I do not know, but hopefully it'll be entertaining. I just hope Scott Hall's latest relapse won't keep Waltman from focusing on this match, because if I had a friend who fell off the wagon for the hundredth time, I'd probably be concerned for him as well. Anyway, though this team has its strong points, there's no way they're defeating the sentimental favorite.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> Team Michinoku Pro wins</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Colony (Soldier Ant, Fire Ant, and Green Ant)</span> - This match, along with the next, will be the toughest to predict winners. The Colony are, believe it or not, one of the most experienced trios in this year's tournament, having teamed together for about two years now. Green Ant is also getting his own little storyline wherein it is alleged that after his arm was broken over Young Lion's Cup weekend, some sort of super-strong rod was placed in his arm, granting him powers similar to that of Lex Luger. Only instead of a steroid-laden ex-bodybuilder, Green Ant is a (somewhat) gangly young man. The Colony made it to the finals last year, but I'm not so sure they'll make it back this year considering who their opponents are.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">vs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Dark Army (Sinn Bodhi, Obariyon, and Kodama w/Kobald)</span> - Bodhi and UltraMantis Black had a vicious fight last month, resulting in Mantis' mask being nearly torn off his face. I think it's safe to say that The Dark Army is no laughing matter, whatever Bodhi's in-ring gear and antics may say to the contrary. The Batiri continue to improve in the ring, and with Bodhi at the helm, they may end up going pretty far. This will definitely be one of the highlights of Night One, as both teams are very talented. But in the end, I think we're going to see another showdown between The Dark Army and the Spectral Envoy. Against my better judgment, I'm going with <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Dark Army to win</span> over The Colony. You heard it right here: last year's runner's up are going out in the first round. Yikes.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Bruderschaft des Kreuzes (Tim Donst, Delirious, and Jakob Hammermeier)</span> - With last year's KoT winners sitting this tournament out (saying they have nothing to prove this year), it falls to Tim Donst and Co. to take on the challenge of making the BDK back-to-back King of Trios winners. But Donst might be a bit hampered by his choice of teammates. It seems that, with most of the rest of the BDK losing their matches as of late, Donst has turned to the unstable, unpredictable Delirious, and the only undefeated member of the BDK (and their ring announcer), Jakob Hammermeier. While I did find Hammermeier's antics last month rather hilarious (announcing himself, then running back behind the curtain and re-entering the arena as though someone had just announced his name), his in-ring debut was less than impressive. He all but lost to Green Ant, save for several other members of the BDK costing Green Ant the victory. Whether or not Hammermeier can prove himself remains to be seen, but he's going to get one hell of a test against the next team.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">vs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Da Soul Touchaz (Marshe Rockett, Acid Jaz, and Willie Richardson)</span> - One could say that Da Soul Touchaz are one of the best trios in the world right now. And they still are looking for retribution after the BDK took out DST's manager and valet several months ago. Last month, all three members of Da Soul Touchaz lost their matches to members of the BDK, and I would think that this will only fuel the fire of this feud to new heights. I am really hoping for a spot with Willie Richardson and Jakob Hammermeier...a Pounce, maybe? And I really want Da Soul Touchaz to gain a small measure of revenge against the BDK. But I smell interference, be it from other members of the BDK or a crooked referee. Either way, <span style="font-weight: bold;">The BDK wins</span> and moves on.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Lightning" Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, and Manami Toyota</span> - Quackenbush and Jigsaw have been pretty good champions since December, and adding Japanese joshi legend Manami Toyota to the mix will only strengthen their chances of winning. Oh, they probably won't win it all, but damn it if they won't put on one hell of a show. Unfortunately, it looks like their first round match will be kind of an easy match to pick.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">vs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Amazing Red and The Maximos (Joel and Wil)</span> - Sadly, I've only heard of Amazing Red. But, with a quick search of Wikipedia, it appears that Red is the cousin of Joel and Wil Maximo, and they've been working together for quite some time in CZW and ROH, among other places. Red is a great performer, and I look forward to this match. But the result is about as predictable as they come. <span style="font-weight: bold;"> QuackSawYota win this match</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">¡3.0lé!</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">(Scott Parker, Shane Matthews, and El Generico)</span> - This team gets the nod for BEST TAG TEAM NAME EVAR! Scott Parker and Shane Matthews team up with El Generico, and damn it all if this team isn't formidable. 3.0 has been embroiled in a feud with The UnStable, including a very awkward-looking segment last month where it looked like Vin Gerard was threatening a female fan and Shane Matthews took it upon himself to bash Gerard's head in and get the fan out of the arena. It looked like a shoot, but I have no idea if it was. No matter. This is another case where, were the team these guys are to face not a lock for the finals, I'd consider them a pretty good threat to make it deep into the tournament. Generico is better than ever, and this team could be great. But their opponents might be the best trio in wrestling today.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">vs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Osirian Portal (Amasis, Ophidian, and Hieracon)</span> - This team has not lost in five months. Think about that for a minute. When was the last time you saw someone not lose anything for five months? It just doesn't happen anymore. Not only are they arguably one of the most popular trios in the world, but they're one of the most talented. Hieracon is getting better every month, and might be the catalyst for the Portal moving to the elite level of tag team wrestling. You can bet that Ophidian won't be available to defend the Rey de Voladores title he won last year, because <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Osirian Portal will win this match</span> and go all the way to the finals.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Team Osaka Pro (Atsushi Kotoge, Daisuke Harada, and Ultimate Spider, Jr.)</span> - Osaka Pro's team (with Tadasuke instead of Ultimate Spider, Jr.) made it to the semi-finals of last year's tournament. Kotoge and Harada were thoroughly impressive in their matches last year. But will the addition of Ultimate Spider, Jr. (who, incidentally, has one of the most awesome names ever) mean success or doom for this team? Well, let's take a look at their opponents.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">vs.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Throwbacks (Sugar Dunkerton, Dasher Hatfield, and MATT CLASSIC)</span> - Sorry, I had to capitalize MATT CLASSIC's name because I'm so hyped to see him back in CHIKARA after a year-long absence that I may just pee myself a little. Aside from having a deliciously punny name, Classic is one of my favorite characters in all of wrestling. And I really, REALLY want to see more than one match with MATT CLASSIC. So, again, against my better judgment, I'm picking The Throwbacks to win this match.<br /><br /><br /><br />Aside from these matches, there are only four other matches that aren't Trios matches, and only two of them have any confirmed participants. Archibald Peck of The Band has issued an open challenge, and on Saturday he will face...someone. We don't know who. More than likely, he will face either someone whose trio lost at Night One or another member of the CHIKARA roster. Whoever he faces, I'd expect Peck to get a severe beating. Maybe El Generico? I'd love to see that.<br /><br />Also, Eddie Kingston has issued an open challenge, and that match will take place on Sunday. Whoever he faces will probably get a face full of fist, as Kingston is likely furious after his controversial loss to Claudio Castagnoli last month. It took seven people and an arm wrapped in steel chain to down Kingston. So this should be a royal beatdown if ever there was one. Kingston wins, no matter who he faces.<br /><br />We're also getting the return of the Rey de Voladores tournament. Last year, Ophidian won. He won't be back to defend his title. Expect several guys who lost their Night One matches to appear, as well as some other indy favorites. Matt Cross won't be back, as he's probably at this point under a WWE contract. But look out for other high-flyers to appear. This should be a great mini-tournament as well.<br /><br />And finally, we have the Ten-Team Tag Team Gauntlet Match, which last year had some truly memorable moments (the return of Dragon Dragon, for example). I'd think most of the teams who lost either of the last two nights to show up, as well as at least one unexpected team. As to who wins? I have no earthly idea. But whoever wins will gain points towards challenging for the Campeonatos de Parejas.<br /><br />Now, I can't end this episode without predicting a winner of the King of Trios tournament. I have no idea how the brackets will be set up for Nights Two and Three, so there's no telling who will be facing who, when. But if I had to pick two teams to go to the finals, I would have to go with Michinoku Pro and The Osirian Portal. The Portal because they've been on a tear for five months, and Michinoku Pro because everyone wants them to win after the devastation in Japan. And I think that, after last year's fiasco, CHIKARA wants the fans to go home happy. And in this case, the fans will go home happy no matter which team wins. If Michinoku Pro wins, then the sentimental favorite has overcome all the odds and won the most prestigious tag team tournament in wrestling history. If The Osirian Portal wins, it means that their legacy has been solidified and they can build upon this victory to become one of the best three-man tag teams of all time. If you asked me to pick a winner, however, I think that having a team who can appear every month would help the company overall, and while I'm sure a lot of people would want to see Michinoku Pro win, I'm picking The Osirian Portal to win the King of Trios tournament. But I would expect the Portal to show the utmost respect to Michinoku Pro after the match, as they are three true legends of the business.<br /><br />I am looking forward to King of Trios 2011. I'm looking forward more to the DVD releases. I wish I could have attended the show this year, but that was not to be. Maybe next year...<br /><br />So that's it for this mammoth episode. Stay tuned for a Wrestlemania recap (I swear I'll get around to it), and some reviews of other shows I watched that were far more entertaining. Until next time, I'll see you next time. Yes, I actually meant to type that.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-3635779040477723642011-04-02T14:57:00.000-07:002011-04-02T20:38:23.637-07:00Episode 15 - Wrestlemania 27 PicksAnd so begins my final foray into the bottomless pit of awful known as World Entertainment Entertainment. There might be the slimmest of chances I tune in to Raw on Monday night, but only - and I do mean ONLY - if Michael Cole is no longer a commentator. If Jim Ross is brought back, I would consider watching it. I would also consider watching it to see Sin Cara's debut. But I am at the point that, unless these things all happen Monday night, there is no way anyone could get me to watch WWE on a regular basis anymore. I cannot stand it. So today marks the second-to-last episode I will dedicate to WWE. The last will, of course, be the results and review episode that will be posted sometime on Monday. Without further ado, Wrestlemania 27 picks.<br /><br />We are getting nine matches this year. Though, to be fair, two of them barely count as matches. These are the moments I am least looking forward to during the broadcast. The rest of the card is a solid "meh" rating. Whether or not the feuds were built well I do not know, as I have not watched a WWE program in three weeks. It feels nice to get the poison out of your system. Anyway, let's look at the card, shall we?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Six Person Mixed Tag Team Match - John Morrison, Trish Stratus, and (ugh) Snooki vs. Dolph Ziggler and LayCool</span><br /><br />I considered boycotting Wrestlemania this year because of this match. I am embarrassed for everyone involved in this match for having to work with a waste of oxygen who glorifies the worst parts of life. This Snooki creature should be taken out back and disemboweled with a wooden cooking spoon. It is what is wrong with this country. I may just avoid the match altogether, it's such a fucking disgrace. Morrison and Ziggler should have had a singles match. That could have been the show-stealer. But they're saddled with the burden of a mixed tag match. I can't imagine Trish being that great, and we know my problems with LayCool. If ever there was a bathroom break match in wrestling history, it's this one right here. The only way I would enjoy this match is if someone just outright killed Snooki. Then I might be happy. Here's hoping. Oh, picks. Right. <span style="font-weight: bold;"> Morrison and Co. win</span>. I don't care.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes</span><br /><br />One of the big episodes I had planned for the future was to discuss how so many current WWE guys are seemingly trying to become copies of characters from the Attitude Era (Randy Orton = Steve Austin, The Miz = The Rock), and one that had come to mind a few weeks back was Cody Rhodes acting more and more like Mankind. Well, the old Mankind. You know, the insane Mankind. Cody's character had (until I stopped watching WWE programming) become one of the most fascinating characters in the entire company. Ever since he cut that backstage promo facing away from the camera, I wanted to see where he went. Of course, since I haven't watched Smackdown in three weeks, I don't know if Cody is still working in a suit. If he is, I will thoroughly enjoy this match. Hell, it should be a pretty good match anyway. Cody could be on the verge of a major push with this new character (if it still exists). And since I have no knowledge of how this feud is progressing, I'm going to give the nod to Cody Rhodes this time. Yes, I'm picking <span style="font-weight: bold;">Cody Rhodes to win</span> this match. How does that feel?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8-Man Tag Team Match - Kane, The Big Show, Santino Marella, and ??? vs. The CORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE</span><br /><br />Apparently, the CORRRRRRRRE ambushed Vladimir Kozlov during Fan Ax...Acc...Axc...whatever the hell you call it, and it looks like Kozlov won't be competing. People are figuring that they took Kozlov out of the match in order to insert Kofi Kingston into the match, seeing as how Kofi apparently lost the Intercontinental Championship to Wade Barrett a couple of weeks ago. Why he lost, I do not know. Could this be the beginning of a main event push for Kofi? Yeah, I've been calling for that for a year and a half now, and it's never going to happen. Anyway, there's one way that this match could go from "pointless" to "vaguely interesting," and that's if Teddy Long swerves us and turns this match into a Money in the Bank Ladder Match that is sorely missing from the WM card this year. I know there's a PPV dedicated to this particular match, but that should never have been approved in the first place. Money in the Bank is the only Wrestlemania tradition we have besides the Undertaker's winning streak. And we're just going to kill MITB after six very successful years? Fuck that. This match is pointless. I don't care. <span style="font-weight: bold;"> The CORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE wins</span> for no reason other than they're supposedly a cohesive unit.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jerry "The King" Lawler vs. Michael Cole (w/Stone Cold Steve Austin as the special guest referee)</span><br /><br />Everyone is saying that King is going to destroy Cole. As much as I want to agree with you, I just have this awful feeling that somehow, Cole is going to win. You know why I feel that way? Because at CHIKARA's Creatures from the Tar Swamp show, the BDK's ring announcer, Jakob Hammermeier, won a match against Green Ant, an established wrestler, through the use of copious run-ins. I'm not saying that Vince is going to copy CHIKARA (or that he even watches CHIKARA in the first place), but I wouldn't put it past him to leave the fans with a bitter taste in their mouths after a feud that is one of the major reasons why I stopped watching this product. Sure, Lawler will get some good hits in, and might even cause Cole to miss an episode of Raw, but I think the presence of Jack Swagger (and maybe a run-in from JBL) could somehow ruin everyone's satisfaction of watching Cole get his face punched in. Or this could be Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon all over again. Whatever happens, you can bet that someone's getting a Stunner at the end, a la Lesnar v. Goldberg. So, against my better judgment, I'm picking...no...I just cannot write those words. I don't care if I'm wrong. I just cannot write those four words. If I did, I would stop watching all wrestling forever. Fuck it. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jerry Lawler wins</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">CM Punk vs. Randy Orton</span><br /><br />Punk is the best ACTUAL heel the company has going for them right now. Or, at least, he was as of three weeks ago. Whether or not he's lived up to that moniker I do not know. Orton has been boring since turning face, doing his best Stone Cold Steve Austin impression, complete with nickname, turnbuckle taunt during his entrance, and even adding in a few Stone Cold moves he's never used before a few months ago. But then again, Orton's always been boring to me. So I grit my teeth and sit through it. At least when he's got someone good to work with, he can look good. Punk is one of those guys. Also, I think WWE missed a major feud opportunity with Nexus vs. CORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE. Not that it would be entertaining anymore. Nexus is now talentless and CORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE is dull as dishwater save Justin Gabriel. You couldn't pay me to watch those two groups go at it now. Let's just forget about that and pick the match. Since I have no investment whatsoever, I'll just go with which guy I like more. So <span style="font-weight: bold;">CM Punk wins</span> this match.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">United States Championship Match - Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan Danielson</span><br /><br />People are saying this could be the show-stealing match. But that's impossible, because Sheamus is involved. Sorry, folks, I never warmed up to him, and probably never will. And while I am glad to see DBD at Wrestlemania, he should have appeared in a World Title match of some sort. Maybe next year he'll face the Undertaker. I can dream, can't I? Anyway, this could be the beginning of Danielson's eventual burial in WWE. He did nothing as US Champion, and unless Vince actually has a GOOD thought in his head for once, there's no way he'll push Danielson to the top. Such a shame. Speaking of shame, I'm going to feel some when I pick <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sheamus to win</span> and retain the US Title.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">World Heavyweight Championship Match - Edge (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio</span><br /><br />One of the reasons I've soured on Del Rio is that he delivered the exact same promo for the past three months. All he would say is that it's his destiny to win. And since he said it was his destiny to win the Royal Rumble (which he did), then it would follow that he'll win the World Heavyweight Championship. Will Del Rio be the next Sheamus (ie: winning a World Title way too soon in his WWE career)? You'd think so. But I have no goddamn idea. There's been some bullshit about Christian being involved in the match somehow. And while I like Christian most out of the three men mentioned, he probably won't play a big part in this match. Either that, or he'll determine the outcome of the match. But we really don't need more than one match where someone outside the match determines the outcome (see: the next match). So I figure Christian won't get involved, and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Edge ends up winning</span> and retaining the World Heavyweight Championship.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">WWE Championship Match - The Miz (c) vs. John Cena</span><br /><br />Does anyone remember back in 2009, when The Miz claimed an undefeated streak over Cena, and they built up their match for months, and then they had that match at The Bash (which I attended), and the match FUCKING SUCKED? My, how times have changed...wait...wait...nah, they really haven't. Miz is still undeserving of his spot on the roster, and Cena is still Superman. But we have a wild card here, that being The Rock. And, from what I heard, Cena punked out Rock last Monday night. So what do you think is going to happen? Ref bump, Rock interferes, costs Cena the match, and we get Cena vs. Rock at Summerslam. Joy. If only I gave a crap.<br /><br />Sorry, folks, but I've gotten really cynical over the last couple of hours. I wrote the first half of this episode before having to tune in to the Dragon Gate USA iPPV show, and while it wasn't a bad show, it definitely was somewhat of a disappointment. And after a lackluster ROH show this morning/afternoon, I can't say that I'm entirely too pleased with my purchases this weekend. Sure, last night's ROH show was off the chain, but that's about it. And I cannot imagine Wrestlemania being any better than any of these shows. So I'm just going to try to finish this episode and move on with my life.<br /><br />Anyway, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Miz wins</span> and retains the WWE Title.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">No Holds Barred Match - HHH vs. The Undertaker</span><br /><br />This should be the main event, but it probably won't be thanks to The Rock's involvement in the WWE Title match. Anyway, I'm so bored of HHH I could probably nap during one of his promos. And Taker probably needs to hang up the boots. Yes, I'm sure Vince wants to see him get to 20-0, as would I. But if that's to happen, Taker will probably need to take the entire year off after this match tomorrow. Anyway, it could be a decent match, but I'm not in the mood to care about it. Besides, it's the easiest match on the card to pick. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Undertaker wins</span>.<br /><br />So there it is. Picks for the last Wrestlemania. Stick around, because next year, it's Entertainmentmania 1. WOOHOO! YAAAAAAY!<br /><br />I'll stick to the indies, thankyouverymuch. Catch you all later.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-62854849418398064892011-04-01T13:48:00.000-07:002011-04-01T14:24:36.065-07:00Episode 14 - The Busiest of WeekendsMan, you want to talk about a crazy weekend for wrestling? This will probably be the craziest of the year. Even crazier than King of Trios 2011. And to celebrate my new-found indy-pendence, I've ordered not one, not two, but THREE wrestling shows that will take place this weekend. And no, Wrestlemania (or should I say Entertainmentmania) isn't one of them. No, I took the plunge and have bought the two Ring of Honor iPPV shows and the one available Dragon Gate USA iPPV. Since this is my first foray into the realm of iPPV, I am both giddy and a little cautious. This will be the first ROH show I've watched live, but I've heard from many people about the problems they've had in the past with their iPPV carrier, GoFightLive. However, since the two shows cost $20 TOTAL, I could not pass up this opportunity. Also, I've wanted to watch a DGUSA show since their first Enter the Something Gate show, which I had the pleasure of watching. I'd like to take a quick look at some of the big matches coming up this weekend.<br /><br />The Kings of Wrestling (Claudio Castagnoli and Chris Hero) vs. Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team (Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin) - Today, these two titans of the tag team world will collide for the ROH World Tag Team Championships. Seeing as how both Castagnoli and Hero are two of the best wrestlers in the world, I think that Haas and Benjamin have their work cut out for them. But this is a dream match for plenty of indy fans, I'm sure. This could very well be the match of the night tonight.<br /><br />Eddie Edwards (World Champ) vs. Christopher Daniels (TV Champ) - The main event of Friday's show (at least it's listed that way) pits the new ROH World Champion against the Fallen Angel in what should be one hell of a match. These two went to a time limit draw in February which I imagine must have been off the chain. And now they're locking up for the World Title...damn.<br /><br />Colt Cabana vs. Dave Taylor (Saturday) - If this is the same Dave Taylor who worked for WWE a few years back, this should be one hell of a show. Cabana is the NWA World Heavyweight Champion, and Taylor is one of the grizzliest veterans you will find out there. I'll definitely be looking forward to this match.<br /><br />The American Wolves (Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards) vs. Wrestling's Greatest Tag Team (Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin) - If Friday's Tag Team Title match wasn't a dream match for the IWC, this, no doubt, will be. I recently watched PWG's 2010 opener, Kurt Russelmania (which is one of my favorite show titles ever), and Davey Richards fought Kevin Steen in what I would call the match of the night. All four of these guys can go like whoa, and I cannot wait to see this match tomorrow.<br /><br />CIMA, Naruki Doi, and Ricochet vs. Chuck Taylor, Johnny Gargano, and Rich Swann (DGUSA, Saturday) - Holy crap is about all I can say. While I miss Ricochet in CHIKARA (where he wore a mask and was known as Helios), I'm glad he's still working. CIMA and Doi speak for themselves. Taylor and Gargano are 2/3 of F.I.S.T., and Swann took Frightmare to the limit in February. I cannot wait for this epic trios match.<br /><br />Now don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to every match of all three shows. These are just the ones that I REALLY want to see. And since today's ROH show will be starting in about two and a half hours, I think it's best that I wrap this up now instead of blathering on for another six or seven pages. I'll be back with reviews of all three shows, as well as my farewell WWE review, very soon. Until next time...holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-85709654716073453912011-03-14T20:07:00.000-07:002011-03-14T20:34:30.684-07:00Episode 13 - That Major AnnouncementToday is as fitting a day as any to make the following announcement:<br /><br />I will no longer be covering World Wrestling Entertainment's product as of April 4th, 2011. From then on, this little blog will focus solely on independent wrestling. I will likely hone in on a select few promotions, since I am not exactly rolling in the cash necessary to purchase shows from every indy promotion I want to. I may acquire some shows through other ways just to discuss them. But the important thing to take away from this is that I am done with WWE. I'd been toying with the idea of no longer watching the product for months, as I've seen such a decline in quality programming over the past year. But one single event pushed me over the line and gave me the strength to say, "I'm done with this shit." That is the inclusion of the putrid trollop known as Snooki as the guest host of Monday Night Raw tonight. Part of me wonders if this is only a rip-off of TNA bringing in another waste of oxygen from the embarrassing television program Jersey Shore. It's television like that that makes me understand why so many other people in other countries hate the United States. The fact that the people on that show are paid as much as they are sickens me. That we would promote such behavior by giving people money to do so on camera...I can't even think of a way to describe how angry that makes me.<br /><br />But there's a silver lining to all of this. For nearly two years, I've had this blog. And for nearly that whole time, all I ever did was complain about the WWE product, all while basically ignoring independent wrestling. Frankly, I'm tired of being so negative. I know that negativity usually garners more publicity than positivity (see: Charlie Sheen), but I think it's time to inject some good thoughts into the internet wrestling community. So, as stated, this blog will become indy-exclusive as soon as Wrestlemania has concluded. I figure it's fitting that since I started this blog just after Wrestlemania 25, I should end my affiliation with WWE just after Wrestlemania.<br /><br />Now, for those of you wondering which promotions I'll be following, I can say one thing: CHIKARA will definitely be at the top of the list. As to which other promotions I'll be covering, that remains to be seen. I have a good feeling I'll be covering Ring of Honor, since it's considered by many to be the best indy promotion in the world. There's a good chance I'll also be covering Dragon Gate USA and EVOLVE, since both share wrestlers with both ROH and CHIKARA. And I've been hearing good things about Pro Wrestling Guerrilla and NWA Hollywood. Well, I'll watch NWA Hollywood because Colt Cabana is the NEW NWA World Champion. Also, I'll be trying to watch a lot more Japanese puroresu, so I'll be looking for NJPW, Pro Wrestling NOAH, and Dragon Gate, among others. And maybe I'll try to cover some Mexican wrestling as well, though I'm not as sure how to find that. But if I can find some AAA or CMLL, you can bet that I'll talk about it here. So that's ten promotions right off the bat. That should provide me with plenty of material to talk about.<br /><br />Also, I've been thinking about starting up a podcast wherein I discuss topics I don't cover here. Thanks to the Pro Wrestling Rewind returning to the airwaves a few weeks ago, I've never been more intrigued at the possibility of creating my own little podcast dedicated to the discussion of independent wrestling. So I think that once I get some good material, you may be hearing my voice on the airwaves.<br /><br />Unfortunately, the one subject I doubt I'll be able to cover will be live events. Sadly, there is only one small promotion in the city I live, and it's nowhere near any of the promotions already mentioned. So that much will likely not be happening unless I work up the gumption to move somewhere with a more defined wrestling scene. Somewhere like Philadelphia or Souther California. But until that happens, you'll have to make do with DVD reviews and the like.<br /><br />So there you have it. My announcement has been made. In fact, to make good on this (and to prepare me for not having anything to be home to watch on Monday and Friday nights), I will not be watching Raw or Smackdown in the weeks leading up to Wrestlemania 27. I just cannot watch the show anymore. Technically, I'm boycotting Raw tonight, but I figure that cutting myself off from the product entirely will help keep me away from it in the weeks following Wrestlemania.<br /><br />I hope that those of you who read this will still read it after I transition to an indy promotion-exclusive blog. I encourage everyone to seek out more independent shows, as they are almost always of a much higher quality (in terms of in-ring action and characters) than the big promotions out there. I'll likely be back soon with reviews of the first three CHIKARA shows of 2011, as well as a look forward to King of Trios 2011, which is shaping up to be one hell of a great show. So stay tuned for the rerebirth of Rantables, because it's coming in three weeks. I'll catch you all on the flip side!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-56210879646055938132011-03-12T13:58:00.000-08:002011-03-12T16:03:40.638-08:00Episode 12 - CHIKARA Weekend Spectacular Picks!Having just now finished watching last month's CHIKARA shows, I feel it is necessary to crank out picks for this month's shows immediately, as today's show will be starting in...about two hours. Living on the west coast, I will not be attending, but I will certainly be looking forward to purchasing these DVDs when they're released...hopefully sooner than February's shows were. Let's get started with today's (Saturday) show...<br /><br />OPERATION BIG FREEZE<br /><br />Madison Eagles vs. Toshie Uematsu<br /><br />I'm glad to see more women competing in CHIKARA other than Sara Del Rey and Daizee Haze. It isn't that I don't like Sara or Daizee, it's just better to have some variety. Madison Eagles had a very good match against Sara in Easton at Clutch of Doom (which I literally just finished watching about twenty minutes ago), much better in this man's humble opinion than her match against Daizee Haze in January. And now it appears that Madison will be a semi-regular competitor in CHIKARA. As the current SHIMMER champion, Eagles has to be considered a favorite. I know nothing about Toshie Uematsu, except that she's Japanese. But I'm a fan of Japanese wrestling. I constantly remind myself that I need to watch more of it. And after watching Manami Toyota's matches for CHIKARA in September of last year, I have high hopes for any Japanese woman coming to American soil. Madison lost her first match in CHIKARA (well, her first since 2008) before winning last month, so I'm wondering if something similar will happen to Uematsu. For this match, I'll pick Madison Eagles to win, though it's not a strong pick to be honest.<br /><br />Da Soul Touchaz (Marshe Rocket and Acid Jaz) vs. The BDK (Lince Dorado and Pinkie Sanchez)<br /><br />After taking February away from CHIKARA, Da Soul Touchaz are back in action against their bitter rivals. Today, they take on two of the more annoying (but talented) members of the Bruderschaft in Lince Dorado and Pinkie Sanchez. These teams have been embroiled in a feud for months, and it shows no signs of cooling off. Since the BDK took out DST's managers last year, DST has been on a mission to destroy the Swiss Army. Tonight, they get a chance at redemption against The Perfect Ten and whatever the hell Pinkie's nickname is. I like this matchup a lot. Marshe and Acid will match styles very well with Lince and Pinkie. This should be a high-flying affair with lots of crowd reaction. The BDK won in January (albeit by disqualification), and I'd imagine they're hungry for another victory. But I think Da Soul Touchaz will win, since they've simply got more emotion behind them. Expect a knock-down drag-out fight here.<br /><br />3.0 and The Throwbacks vs. The UnStable and The Roughnecks<br /><br />Last month, 3.0 took what had initially seemed like a throwaway match with The UnStable and turned it into a serious feud overnight. 3.0, in their universally hilarious glory, joked about Vin Gerard and STIGMA being boring, and at one point, Shane Matthews pulled a pillow out from under the ring and fell asleep on the ring apron. The feud continued the following night, as 3.0 again ruined The UnStable's chances at winning a match, only to have The UnStable return the favor later in the night. Now neither of these teams have any points and are looking for payback. The feud between The Throwbacks and The Roughnecks has been escalating for months, and continues to boil over with fury from both sides. I don't know if that last sentence made any sense, but I don't care. These two feuds will intertwine during this eight-man tag team match. At this point in the four teams' respective feuds, trying to pick this match is difficult. I would call the odds of winning even for both sides. Sure, one side has Brodie Lee, but we've seen in the past that he isn't invincible. I would flip a coin to choose the winner, but I don't have one nearby. So I'll just mentally flip one...<br /><br />...<br /><br />The coin came up heads. So I'll pick 3.0 and The Throwbacks to win.<br /><br />Fire Ant vs. Icarus<br /><br />Icarus is coming off two singles victories in February, though one was under dubious circumstances. He defeated Gregory Iron in a pretty awesome match, and then took out Ophidian the next night (through said dubious circumstances (AKA Derek Sabato)). Since the rest of F.I.S.T. is nowhere to be seen, Icarus will apparently again be going it alone this month. Fire Ant is coming off a huge victory with Soldier Ant against Claudio Castagnoli and Tursas at Clutch of Doom, and CHIKARA's Hottest Property is looking to keep The Colony's momentum going towards King of Trios. Fire Ant had the spot of the night at Clutch of Doom, where he leapt off an on-all-fours Tursas, caught Claudio with a headscissors, and as he (Fire Ant) was falling to the ground, he grabbed Tursas by the neck and slammed the big man's head into the mat with a ferocious DDT. It was a thing of beauty, definitely worthy of a Throwdown Lowdown highlight video (which, by the way, if you haven't seen, go to Youtube and type in Throwdown Lowdown for some killer highlights from past CHIKARA shows). Both of these men have something to prove in singles action, as well as building momentum for their respective trios for the upcoming King of Trios. But who wins? Icarus is on a roll, while Fire Ant hasn't had a singles match in a while. I'm giving this match (as much as it pains me to do so) to Icarus. Of course, if Derek Sabato is the referee, Icarus will pretty much be guaranteed the victory. But I won't know about that until the DVDs are released.<br /><br />The Osirian Portal vs. Kizarny and The Batiri<br /><br />Aside from Ophidian's loss to Icarus last month, The Osirian Portal has been on a major roll since adding Jonathan Gres...I mean Hieracon to their ranks. This young up-and-comer has given new life to a team that was already gaining huge amounts of viral notoriety. The Portal pulled the hypnosis out again at Caught in a Cauldron of Hate, hypnotizing the best referee in the world, Bryce Remsburg, and that was a grand old time, it was. The Batiri, though they lost in their bid for the Campeonatos de Parejas, got right back on track the next night with a victory over UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked, and Frightmare in what I would consider an upset. Thankfully, Kodama appears to have improved since January's outing, where he clearly injured himself botching a move with Hallowicked. Obariyon continues to impress, and with their leader back at the helm, they will be a formidable force indeed. But the Portal is so over right now it's crazy. The shot of energy Hieracon has given them may very well propel them to the top of the tag team world sooner rather than later. Can you say King of Trios? They'd be my early pick to win it all. But then again, the whole roster of teams has yet to be finalized, so I'm not going to make an official decision until then. I wouldn't be surprised if some foul play is involved in this match, especially if Derek Sabato draws this match. We say in January how he seemed to almost be in league with The Batiri, hinting at a possible alliance with the BDK. Whether or not this is true remains to be seen, but I would expect that if he is the ref for this match, we'll be seeing Kizarny's hand raised in victory. Still, at this point, it's too tough to pick against The Osirian Portal, and until they lose a big match, I'm going to keep picking them to win. So The Osirian Portal wins this match, but it won't be an easy victory for them.<br /><br />Willie Richardson vs. Tursas<br /><br />The two biggest men on the CHIKARA roster go head-to-head in what I'm betting will be the match that has the best chance of breaking the ring. If anyone has the gumption to be the second man to take Tursas off his feet, it's The Urban American Dream. Richardson is one of those talented big men who can do stuff a guy his size shouldn't be able to do. And since I've never seen him in a singles match, this should prove to be very interesting. On the other hand, I don't believe I've ever seen Tursas work a singles match that lasts more than about six minutes, so if something DOES happen, it'll happen quickly. I can't see this match going the whole way without outside interference, and as much as I'd love to see Willie Richardson pick up the victory, I just don't think it's in the cards tonight. Tursas wins.<br /><br />Mike Quackenbush and Incoherence (Hallowicked and Frightmare) vs. The BDK (Claudio Castagnoli, Sara Del Rey, and Tim Donst)<br /><br />Donst now holds the dubious record of being involved in the shortest match in CHIKARA history, being pinned by Max Boyer in four seconds in Reading, PA last month. Sure, Hallowicked pretty well cost Donst the match, but hey, a record is a record. Now, I'm sure, Donst is looking for retribution. Donst gained some measure of revenge after beating Jigsaw (with copious help from Derek Sabato), and for that, I'm sure Mike Quackenbush is looking to tame Donst's hide. And I'm sure each team just wants to tear the other a new bung-hole. The CHIKARA/BDK feud is still burning strong more than a year after they first arrived on the scene. See, Vince? THIS is how you book a feud. Not this whole "two months and you're done" approach. Anyway, back to the matter at hand. This match will not resolve a damn thing between the two factions, since the next day, even more conflict will arise. But it should be damned entertaining, that's for sure. I think The BDK is going to win this match, though honestly it's even money as to who will actually win.<br /><br />And now, for Sunday's show...<br /><br />CREATURES FROM THE TAR SWAMP<br /><br />Green Ant vs. Jakob Hammermeier<br /><br />Apparently this was just added recently. One of the feuds that's been brooding in the background over the past year is between the two ring announcers, Jakob Hammermeier and Gavin Loudspeaker. While I would normally not condone a match between the two, as wrestling should be left to the wrestlers, this one would probably work since it hasn't been crammed down our throats for months on end like certain other "announcers" who will remain nameless. And what better way to introduce Jakob to the ring than put him in a match with Green Ant, one of the better mat grapplers in the company. Green Ant had a great wrestling exhibition match with Mike Quackenbush last month, and I would imagine that he would teach Jakob a thing or two about what it means to be a wrestler. Unless Jakob's a quick learner, as he's apparently been training under Claudio for a couple of months. It should prove to be an interesting match. Probably not a five-star match, but interesting nonetheless. But I would bet that Jakob's got something up his white sleeve, and will probably manage to screw Green Ant out of the victory. Yes, I'm picking Jakob Hammermeier to win this match. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take a scalding hot shower.<br /><br />Toshie Uematsu vs. Sara Del Rey<br /><br />As I stated earlier, it's nice to finally have some variety in CHIKARA's women's division, and if Toshie Uematsu has a good match with Madison Eagles, she'll probably have a good match with Sara Del Rey. I probably should have done more research before making picks for matches that involve wrestlers I've never seen before. I'll probably see if I can find some Toshie Uematsu matches on Youtube after I'm done writing this. Anyway, I remember Dragon Yuki coming in to CHIKARA in October of last year and losing both of his matches. Will the same fate apply to Uematsu? I have no idea. But taking on Madison Eagles and Sara Del Rey in one weekend might be too tough, even for a Japanese wrestler. Then again, if they want her to return, they'll probably give her at least one victory this weekend. Hell, since Sara lost to Madison Eagles last month, I'll say she loses again on Sunday. Toshie Uematsu picks up the win in an upset.<br /><br />3.0 vs. The UnStable<br /><br />You know the story already. Now we get the rematch. 3.0 has been supremely entertaining over the past few months, and with their entry into King of Trios with The Generic Luchador, El Generico, ingeniously naming themselves ¡3.Olé!, they're sure to be the funniest trio this year (save maybe The Throwbacks). But their antics last month were apparently not entirely meant to be, as Shane Matthews apologized in a blog entry just a couple of days ago, citing intake of a Red Bull as the catalyst for his outbursts and eventual crash that culminated in his falling asleep midway through a match. I would imagine that whichever team had won the night before would lose this match, and since I picked 3.0 and The Throwbacks to win on Saturday, I'll pick The UnStable to win on Sunday. Yeah it ain't a pretty formula, but it's probably what's going to happen for a feud that's just starting out.<br /><br />The Osirian Portal vs. The BDK (Tim Donst, Lince Dorado, and Pinkie Sanchez)<br /><br />The Osirian Portal continues to take on strong trios en route to King of Trios 2011. They defeated a very similar BDK team in December. Then they beat F.I.S.T. in January. Then The Colony on February 19th and were the last men standing in a four-way elimination tag match on February 20th. You can see why I have a tough time picking against them. Also, getting however many millions of views on Youtube is a good reason to keep their momentum at full speed. Not that they deserve it based solely on Youtube video views. The Portal is a supremely talented trio who deserve this push as much as anyone else right now. On the other side of things, Tim Donst is heading the only BDK trio into King of Trios. Could this be the team he takes into Philadelphia the weekend of April 15th? This was the BDK's team that nearly made it to the finals last year but were stopped by The Colony, so I'd imagine they'd love to get some revenge on last year's runners-up. But they have to go through the world's hottest trio, and I can't see that happening right now. If this was six months ago, I'd say the BDK has the advantage. But right now, the Portal is red hot and I doubt they'll be losing a trios match soon. The Osirian Portal wins and continues their rise to the top of the trios world.<br /><br />Young Lions Cup Championship Match - Frightmare (c) vs. Obariyon<br /><br />Last month, Frightmare tied Max Boyer's record of five title defenses. Sunday, he goes for his record-breaking sixth against a man who made his debut at the Young Lions Cup Tournament last year and has had one hell of a year, Obariyon. Obariyon has proven to be the stand-out in Kizarny's Dark Army, fiendish, strong, and deft and agile as any high-flyer. Plus, his face paint scares me a little. Last month, Obariyon pinned Frightmare in their trios match. But that was a trios match. And Frightmare is one of the best singles wrestlers in CHIKARA right now. Obariyon has not had a singles match since August of last year. Will that come into play? I have no idea, but it's a good way to reason out Frightmare retaining the title. At least, I'm guessing he will. Despite strong competition, Frightmare wins and retains the Young Lions Cup.<br /><br />Lumberjack Match - The Throwbacks vs. The Roughnecks<br /><br />In what is being billed as CHIKARA's first ever Lumberjacks Match, the hotly contested feud between The Throwbacks and The Roughnecks will reach a head. These two teams have been fighting back and forth for nigh on six months now, and you can't end a feud like this with any normal match. While I don't think this feud is necessarily over, a gimmick match like this will definitely keep the fire burning bright. One wonders who will be chosen as lumberjacks in this match, as it could very well turn the tide of the match and give one team an advantage. But I believe that since I picked The Throwbacks to win on Saturday, we'll see a reversal of fortune and The Roughnecks will win this match.<br /><br />And since the Saturday show is set to start in about five minutes, I'll crank out these last few picks real quick so as not to seem like I'm cheating.<br /><br />UltraMantis Black vs. Sinn "Kizarny" Bodhi<br /><br />This feud is far from over. Unless I've missed something, we still need some more promos between the two to explain the story more. I'll have to catch up on the CHIKARA Event Center videos on Youtube just to see. Nevertheless, I'm hoping this is more of a match than their January encounter. I think Kizarny will win this match, though it won't be without its controversy.<br /><br />Campeonatos de Parejas Match - Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw vs. The Colony (Soldier Ant and Fire Ant)<br /><br />I'm not sure why The Colony is challenging for the titles. To my recollection, they don't have the three points necessary to challenge for the belts. But it says that this match is for the Campeonatos, so I'll go with what the website says. Two mega-face teams taking each other on...should be a great high-flying affair. But I don't see QuackSaw losing the tag titles just yet. Quackenbush and Jigsaw retain the Campeonatos.<br /><br />Eddie Kingston vs. Claudio Castagnoli<br /><br />Oh, if only I had some more time to discuss this blood feud. But it's finally happening! We're going to get the match that Eddie Kingston has been begging for for a year. The end to Clutch of Doom was so intense, I found myself salivating at the thought of this match. Sadly, I won't get to see it for a couple of weeks, until the DVD is released. And I keep away from results since I want to know who wins when I watch the show, not as soon as the show is over. No matter the result, this is going to be one epic match. But who wins? You have no idea how much I want to see Eddie Kingston win this match. But I just have a bad feeling that we'll be left with a sour taste in our mouths once this match is over. I hate to do it, but I'm picking Claudio Castagnoli to win this match.<br /><br />And as stated earlier, I need to take a shower after saying that.<br /><br />Thanks for reading, and please boycott Monday Night Raw for having that gelatinous tapeworm, that waste of oxygen, that life reject, Snooki, as the guest host. Boycotting Raw this week will make things a lot easier for me in the future. My big announcement will be revealed very soon.<br /><br />Catch you all on the flip side!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-71976829110981938782011-02-28T10:02:00.000-08:002011-02-28T16:06:11.106-08:00Episode 11 - Elimination Chamber ResultsMy sincerest apologies for not writing this episode earlier. I've been sick for the past week, and I feel my thoughts would not have been completely coherent. I'm still sick, but much less so than I was last week. And since Elimination Chamber was a small show, I figure I can also cover the past week in the wacky world of Vince McMahon as well. Let's do the PPV first.<br /><br />For what I called the most predictable show of the year, I had a rather pathetic picks output, correctly picking only three of the five matches on the card. Admittedly, one of them was a toss-up, but one I looked too much into and paid the price. Oh, well. Let's look at the show, shall we? Note that it's been about a week since I saw the show, so I'm going off a memory that's been ravaged by disease for a week. This should be fun.<br /><br />Alberto Del Rio defeated Kofi Kingston in a non-title match<br /><br />Del Rio continues his climb towards the World Heavyweight Championship in much the same manner as he's done for quite some time now. This time, he goes over the new Matt Hardy of the WWE, Kofi Kingston. I say this because Kofi is a perennial mid-carder, and there seems to be no plan to move him up the ranks. He's loved by the fans and a good worker, but it seems more he's gotten into this "jobber to the stars" role and can't escape it. I thought Kofi was going to move up the chain of command over a year ago, after his feud with Randy Orton. But nothing materialized. Instead, we get guys like Jack Swagger and Sheamus moving up to the top of the card faster than you can say, "But he's not that talented!" And now Del Rio has moved past him. I feel for Kofi. He's one of the most popular guys on Smackdown, yet he's saddled with the Intercontinental Championship more than a year after I thought he would be winning his first World Title. Wow, I went way off topic, didn't I? The match was pretty good, a decent opener for a show with five matches. But, as predicted, Del Rio won the match. Now we get six weeks of him telling us it's his destiny to win the World Heavyweight Championship in so many words. Joy.<br /><br />Edge retains the World Heavyweight Championship in an Elimination Chamber Match<br /><br />Hands down, this was the best match of the night. And when the best match of the night is the second match on the card, you know you're in trouble. If I have to give props to one guy I wasn't very high on before the show, it would have to be Wade Barrett. The guy took two nasty bumps through the chamber pod doors, as well as about a half dozen chops from The Big Show, and even though he first man eliminated, he showed true toughness throughout his time in the match. Also, major props to Edge and Rey Mysterio, who were both the first and last men in the match. The match lasted close to 30 minutes, and these two really showed some true grit by going the whole match. Their one-on-one encounter at the end of the show was fantastic, and it could have been a match by itself. I was a little disappointed Christian wasn't the sixth man in the chamber, but I was pleasantly surprised to see him return after the match, during Del Rio's run in on Edge. I was also hoping to see Christian on Smackdown, but alas, he was not there. If you see only one match from this show, make sure it's this one.<br /><br />Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel defeated Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov to become the NEW WWE Tag Team Champions<br /><br />Have I mentioned yet how hideous those new belts look? Because they're hideous. Anyway, this was the wild card match that had people picking down the middle. But in the end, the CORRRRRRRE won, and Slater and Gabriel captured their second Tag Team Titles. I'd like to reserve the rest of this segment to describing the utter clusterfuck that was the main event on Raw. Slater and Gabriel were to defend the newly won tag titles against John Cena and the Miz. Cena and Miz won the match to become the new tag champions. Wade Barrett immediately called for their rematch, and Slater and Gabriel won the titles back. That's THREE title changes in one day. Now if that doesn't say to you that Vince McMahon doesn't give two shits about the tag team division, I don't know what will.<br /><br />I'd like to go on a sidebar here to discuss John Cena's tag team title reigns. Cena is a four-time tag team champion. Every one of those tag title reigns was to further a storyline he was participating in rather than being part of a legitimate tag team. The first came with Shawn Michaels, after which the two began feuding over the WWE Championship. Next was a title run with Batista that lasted a week. That title reign was only done to further the feud between Cena and Batista leading to their match at Summerslam. Next came a run with David Otunga that lasted a day, and was done only to move the feud between Cena and the old Nexus even further. And last, we have the ten minute title reign with The Miz that was done only to give Miz more heat. Every time something like this happens, it makes me want to give up watching wrestling altogether. But then I remember that there are good promotions out there who value their titles and put on good shows every month. Speaking of, I'll get to that CHIKARA review real soon.<br /><br />Let's move on.<br /><br />The Miz defeated Jerry "The King" Lawler to retain the WWE Championship<br /><br />I would like to talk about this match, but the atrocious promo between King and Michael Cole the next night on Raw overshadows everything else right now. I don't care if Jerry Lawler signed off on this promo. I don't care that it's Cole's job to get as much heat as possible. Do NOT bring real-life family into a wrestling feud. Wrestling is supposed to be fantasy, not reality. It's supposed to be an escape from our daily lives. When you bring someone's real family into the equation, it stops becoming entertaining and starts becoming real. Even if the events are scripted, it's better to keep one's actual family out of it. Does anyone remember CM Punk singing Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio's daughter? That was one of the most horrifying segments of last year, and it was because it was Rey's actual family who were involved. It certainly didn't help Cole's case that Lawler's mother had only been dead for eight days. That promo did not have to go that far. Vince McMahon often tries to push the boundaries of good taste (a phrase I'm sure many of you thought he did not know), but that was just abhorrent. Every time I hear Michael Cole's voice now, I want to change the channel. Is that what Vince was going for with Cole's "character" this whole time? To make people stop watching Raw and Smackdown? Because I'm honestly considering it now. All because of a goddamned announcer.<br /><br />John Cena wins the Elimination Chamber Match<br /><br />Because of The Rock's promo two weeks ago, I thought it was setting up for a Rock vs. Cena match at Wrestlemania, which I think would be about the most massive draw ever. But it appears that those ideas were unfounded, as Cena ended up defeating five other men to become the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship. However, Cena was not the highlight of the match, as I give the best performance award to John Morrison, who not only destroyed a chamber pod door with his KNEE, but he pulled out another Spider-Man-esque performance by climbing to the middle of the chamber and falling on some guys. I think that, out of the six guys involved in this match, Miz vs. Morrison would have been the best draw in terms of a feud with history. Yes, Miz and Cena have history, but it's mostly bullshit history, including a terrible match at The Bash in 2009 which I attended. Yes, Cena is a money draw, but Miz vs. Morrison for the WWE Title at Wrestlemania is something internet wrestling geeks have been wanting since they split up in 2009. It would be a hell of a way to cap off what should have been a long-standing feud that ended up being an itty bitty teeny weeny background feud. WWE truly dropped the ball on the potential Miz/Morrison feud. But I digress. Cena will obviously do as well as he can to make this feud as good as possible. Miz's WWE Title reign has been "meh." But that's more because Miz is a "meh" wrestler rather than any problems WWE Creative may have had.<br /><br />So that's the Elimination Chamber PPV. If you can watch the Smackdown Elimination Chamber match, by all means do. The rest of the show was nothing special.<br /><br />Now, let's talk briefly about this past week's Raw and Smackdown. On Raw, we got John Cena's best promo in years, the utter mess that is the tag team titles, and a bunch of other stuff in between that I don't remember. See, this is the problem with the WWE product right now: almost nothing is memorable. When you look at a company like CHIKARA, the stuff they do is memorable. I'll remember El Generico hitting Eddie Kingston with a brainbuster on the ring apron till the day I die, but if you ask me what happened on Smackdown three weeks ago, I'll be clueless. Honestly, the only thing I remember from Smackdown so far this year is Cody Rhodes' promo just after his (kayfabe) broken nose at the hands of Rey Mysterio, where he faced away from the camera for the entire interview. I thought it was absolutely brilliant.<br /><br />Speaking of Smackdown, I will likely remember that I wish I'd gotten a ticket to go, if only for two reasons. First, Dusty Rhodes made an appearance, and that is something you'll only get to experience once in a great while these days. And second, I would have loved to see Vickie Guerrero get fired live. I bet the roof blew off ARCO Arena when Teddy Long uttered those words. Maybe we won't have to sit through another torturously uncharismatic Vickie promo for a while. Though now I'm wondering what's to become of Dolph Ziggler. Will he show up on Raw? Will his name be cleared? I'd actually like him to stay on TV. The more TV time he has, the less chance we'll have to endure another Ezekiel Jackson promo. Ugh.<br /><br />Well, I suppose that's enough blabbing for now. I really need to get on this whole CHIKARA review, especially since the next two shows should be out on DVD soon. At least, I hope they'll be out on DVD soon. They'll get my $30 soon enough, I'm sure. Until next time!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-86526364536067406722011-02-20T13:01:00.000-08:002011-02-20T13:34:57.687-08:00Episode 10 - Elimination Chamber PicksHey, I just got this in on time! The last couple of days have been pretty hectic, so I'm going to do kind of a quick picks episode today. Before I begin, though, I would just like to point out that the first two WWE Pay-Per-Views have had a total of NINE matches between them. To put that in perspective, CHIKARA's Saturday show had nine matches. That's for ONE SHOW. Their first show of the year had eight, and their show today will have eight. That's TWENTY-FIVE matches in three shows. WWE has given us NINE through two shows. Yes, one was the Royal Rumble and two will be the Elimination Chamber matches, but STILL, if they spent more time wrestling and less time preening and posturing during their 45 minute entrances, we'd get more than five matches per show.<br /><br />Also, I would like to point out that the picks for today seem ludicrously obvious. On that positive note, let's begin!<br /><br />WWE Tag Team Championship Match - Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov (c's) vs. The CORRRRRRRE (Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel)<br /><br />Heyy, iff WWE cann addd onne extrra, ranndom pointlesss letterr tto aa stablle's naame, soo cann Ii. Seriously, it's one of the most idiotic names for a group in recent memory. Also, I'm getting pretty tired of WWE rehashing the NWO storyline. The CORRRRRRRE just feels like the NWO Wolfpac (or at least the group that split from the main group) and will eventually just reunite with the Nexus (also, note to the announcers, the Nexus has not been "New" for over a month. Please stop calling it "The New Nexus.") Whatever. Can you tell I've had a good day so far? The Tag Titles still mean nothing, and it really doesn't matter who wins. Santino and Kozlov are a decent team, but Santino's gimmick feels stale, much like Vince McMahon's creative decisions. Slater and Gabriel are former tag champs, but it was yet another waste of time. I don't care anymore. Santino and Kozlov win and retain their entirely valueless Tag Team Titles.<br /><br />Alberto Del Rio vs. Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston<br /><br />Del Rio has also gotten stale. Every week, all he's ever done is walk out to the ring, declare that it is his destiny to win the World Heavyweight Championship, get attacked by some random face, and either scramble away or lock on the cross-arm breaker. He's done this for somewhere around six weeks. At first, it was about winning the Royal Rumble. But it's the same damn thing every time, usually twice a week. I'm bored of it. Do something new! Oh, the match? It doesn't matter. Alberto Del Rio wins.<br /><br />WWE Championship Match - The Miz (c) vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler<br /><br />First, my condolences to Jerry Lawler, whose mother passed away last Sunday. I give him all the respect in the world for still taking this match. But we all know what the outcome will be. Yes, Jerry Lawler is one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, but he doesn't need a WWE Championship reign. He's won over 150 titles in his career. One more won't make a difference. He's already a hall of famer. Just headlining a PPV should be enough to cap off his in-ring career. All of this makes me even more disappointed that we're going to get a Wrestlemania main event with The Miz. I can hear the "BOOOORING" chants already, most of them emanating from me. Still, Lawler's managed to put Miz over is some pretty good matches, so I'd imagine this will be no different. But in the end, it's going to be the least watchable WWE Champion since Sheamus to win. The Miz wins and retains the WWE Championship.<br /><br />Raw Elimination Chamber Match - John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Sheamus vs. R-Truth<br /><br />Let's toss out Sheamus, Punk, and Truth immediately. The heels won't win because of Miz retaining the WWE Championship, and Truth has been awful the past month or so. I believe we can also discount John Morrison, since nobody seems to want to give him an actual push, even though a Miz vs. Morrison main event at Wrestlemania is something quite a few people have been wanting ever since their break-up a couple of years ago. That leaves us with John Cena and Randy Orton, the two men who seem to be able to no-sell a spot on any PPV lower than the main event. Were it not for a promo by a certain People's Champion this past Monday night, I would have called it a lock that Cena would win this Chamber match. But after said Brahma Bull's promo, I have a feeling we'll be seeing a confrontation between Cena and one Most Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment History. And if you think that Cena vs. Rock won't draw, you're completely fucking insane. Randy Orton wins the Raw Elimination Chamber match and sets up an incredibly boring Raw main event at Wrestlemania 27.<br /><br />Smackdown Elimination Chamber World Heavyweight Championship Match - Edge (c) vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Kane vs. Wade Barrett vs. Drew McIntyre vs. ???<br /><br />Oh good lord...Don't even get me started on how galactically stupid Smackdown was this past Friday. While it was nice to see Teddy Long no-sell severe head trauma and layeth the smacketh down on Vickie Guerrero's rather large candy ass, the rest of the night was a clusterfuck of idiocy, leading to Edge apparently becoming an 11-time World Champion. I wonder who will be the first to break Ric Flair's record...Edge, Cena, or HHH? It's more of a rhetorical thought. No one needs sixteen championship reigns. I'd rather have one title reign that lasted five years than sixteen that added up to five years. As to who is the sixth man in this match, I can think of only one man who would fit in nicely: Christian. What better time to return than at the Elimination Chamber show in a match involving his best friend, Edge? I'd also love to see Amazing Kong debut here, but I feel like she's never going to debut at this rate. As to who wins? Well, we can immediately discount any heels, so Kane, Barrett, and McIntyre are out. How Drew McIntyre even made it into this match is beyond me. The sixth man, whomever he may be, is also out. That leaves Mysterio and Edge. While a Mysterio/Del Rio main event at Wrestlemania would confirm that some feuds never die, I'm betting we're going to see a Rated Not-Quite-R showdown. Edge wins and retains the World Heavyweight Championship.<br /><br />So there you have it. Picks for the Elimination Chamber. If I were you, I'd not buy this show and just acquire it through other means. That is, if you even think it'd be worth watching for free. It seems like a waste of time to me, but I'll probably still watch it. Why? Because I have nothing better to do with my days.<br /><br />What a delightful episode. Catch you all soon with a results episode for Elimination Chamber. And be sure to stay tuned for a review of CHIKARA's Season 10 debut show, which I promise will be more positive. Until then, for Colt Cabana, I'm Colt Cabana.<br /><br />P.S.: go listen to Colt Cabana's podcast, the Art of Wrestling. It's awesome.<br /><br />P.P.S.: I am not, nor am I affiliated in any way with, Colt Cabana. Though I am friends with him on Facebook. So we're like brothers.<br /><br />P.P.P.S;: Colt, please don't sue me.holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-4525494989548887612011-02-18T09:09:00.000-08:002011-02-18T12:22:13.670-08:00Episode 9 - A Super-Sized CHIKARA Picks Spectacular!Fear not, loyal readers, for a review of CHIKARA's Season 10 debut show, Chaos in the Sea of Lost Souls, is forthcoming. I've already viewed the show once, but I feel it needs to be rewatched so I can give the full effect of the show to you, the reader. If you haven't already seen it yourself, I'd recommend picking it up if only to watch the Eddie Kingston vs. El Generico match, as it was off the awesome chart. Also, the Osirian Portal vs. F.I.S.T. match was great, as was the main event as usual. But for now, since there are TWO shows this weekend, I feel it is necessary that I cram both picks episodes into one gigantic super-episode. So sit back, strap in, and grab a beverage, because it's going to be a long show.<br /><br />Let's start with Saturday's show, shall we? It's...<br /><br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Caught in a Cauldron of Hate</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3.0 vs. The UnStable</span><br /><br />Both teams are looking to get back on the winning side, as neither have any points toward contention for the Campeones de Parejas. 3.0 is one of my favorite tag teams in CHIKARA (which is saying something since every tag team is awesome). Scott Parker and Shane Matthews are two talented and hilarious dudes, and they put up a hell of a fight against the BDK last year, actually being the first team to gain a pinfall in a championship match over Ares and Claudio Castagnoli during the latter's nine month title reign. Meanwhile, the UnStable has become more focused than ever after Colin Delaney Olsen left the team to reunite with his brother, Jimmy. Vin Gerard and STIGMA are looking to climb the ranks again. Both Matthews and Gerard have vastly improved over the past year, and they should definitely put on a good show. Every time I see Shane Matthews about ready to call out a headscissors, I mark out like crazy, because despite calling out a move very loudly, it still works every time. If this is the first match of the nine match card, I will definitely be happy to watch it when it comes out on DVD. But I have to remember that this is also a picks episode, and I think that when it comes right down to it, the Unstoppable Beast and the Miserable Malcontent have a slight advantage in that they're totally willing to cheat to win. I'll pick <span style="font-weight: bold;">The UnStable to win</span> and pick up their first point.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Gregory Iron vs. Icarus</span><br /><br />There was one award I neglected to give out during the Golden Rantie Awards last year, and that was for the Most Inspirational Wrestler of the Year. That award goes to Gregory Iron. For his story, I'll link you to <a href="http://www.chikarapro.com/blog/1-28-2011.php">his recent blog post on CHIKARA's website</a>. The man put on one hell of a show at the Young Lion's Cup against Lince Dorado and Tursas, taking the former to his limit on Night 2 and sadly getting crushed by the latter on Night 3. But Iron is a great talent and has shown that you can fulfill your dreams if you work hard enough. Now he has to face Icarus, possibly the most hated man on the CHIKARA roster for reasons I do not know since I've only been watching the product for about ten months. Believe me, if I had several thousand dollars, I'd buy the entire back library of CHIKARA just so I could make myself totally acquainted with the product. But I do not have that kind of money. When I do, though...look out, Smart Mark Video, cause you're going to have a huge order on your hands! Where was I? Oh, yes, the match. I would love to see Greg Iron become a regular member of the CHIKARA roster, but to do that, he needs to start winning matches. And what better way to start with a victory over a CHIKARA Generation 1 member like Icarus? I'm going with my heart over my brain this time. I'm picking <span style="font-weight: bold;">Gregory Iron to win</span> this match. It should be damn good.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Max Boyer vs. Tim Donst</span><br /><br />I don't really remember seeing much of Max Boyer before, but I would imagine that since he's facing Eddie Kingston on Sunday, he's got to be a pretty good competitor. Both Boyer and Donst are former Young Lions Cup champions, so you know they've got some talent in them. Donst went undefeated in his reign as the YLC champ, and whether you want to admit it or not, the kid's getting better every time he steps in the ring. Tim Donst is how I wish Jack Swagger had turned out. Donst is like Swagger, only with talent. Anyway, with the BDK seemingly splintering before our very eyes, Donst may make a move towards the World Championship that is being created. I wish I knew more about Boyer to give a better analysis of this match, but I am in the dark right now. So I'll have to go with the guy I know more about, as much as it pains me to do so: <span style="font-weight: bold;">Tim Donst wins</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sugar Dunkerton vs. Brodie Lee</span><br /><br />The rivalry between the Throwbacks and the Roughnecks continues its escalation. Last month, the Roughnecks picked up a victory over the Old Timey King of Swing and the Boisterous Ball Hog. I'm betting the Roughnecks were even more heated for that match when the ring announcer, Gavin Loudspeaker, accidentally called them the Throwbacks during their entrance. This feud is getting really hot, and it shows no signs of stopping. These teams have been trading wins back and forth for the past couple of months, with neither team gaining an advantage. Saturday, though, I think will be the beginning of one team gaining the upper hand. Brodie Lee is a tough guy to pick against, what with his big boot that could knock probably break cinderblocks and an attitude that most men would fear. But Sugar Dunkerton is not one to back down from a fight. Still, I'm betting the bigger man gets the dupe this time. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Brodie Lee is my pick to win this match</span>, and the tide in this feud will shift to the Roughnecks.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Colony vs. The Osirian Portal</span><br /><br />Last year's King of Trios runners-up face the newly re-minted trio in a "Tecnico Trios Tussle" as the website puts it. After nearly six months, The Colony is whole again, as Green Ant finally returns from a broken arm (courtesy of Battlarts member Keita Yano) he suffered during the Young Lions Cup tournament last year. Soldier Ant and Fire Ant are riding high after a Quatros (a term I'm just now coining) match last month with Jigsaw and Mike Quackenbush against the BDK, and with Green Ant back in the picture, they are as formidable a trio as any in the world. However, the Osirian Portal, who have been a duo for quite some time, are a trio once again with the former Jonathan Gresham, now known as Hieracon, joining the group. Both of these trios have been entered in the 2011 King of Trios tournament. Could this be a preview of one of the later matches, even the finals? Quite possibly. The Portal is riding high after their victory over F.I.S.T. last month, and with Hieracon, they look as strong as ever. But you can never count The Colony out. The only reason they didn't win King of Trios last year is because the BDK got in their way No matter what happens in April, this is going to be an epic encounter. Both teams are major fan favorites, and both teams are supremely talented. This could come close to being the match of the night. But who will win? Green Ant's return will definitely spur The Colony on, but Hieracon's addition to the Portal might put them at the top of the trios division in CHIKARA. It's a tough decision, but I'm going to have to pick <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Osirian Portal to win</span> this awesome match. They just have too much momentum right now for me to think they'll lose before King of Trios 2011.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dasher Hatfield vs. Claudio Castagnoli</span><br /><br />This is definitely an intriguing match-up, as these two have never faced off one-on-one before. Both men are embroiled in feuds that have nothing to do with each other, and that could bring about a lot of distraction on both men's parts. Dasher has the Roughnecks at the forefront of his mind, and Claudio is still waging war on the rest of CHIKARA. I would imagine that these distractions will lead to one of these men losing the match. With the World Championship announcement, I would have to believe that Claudio Castagnoli is a front-runner to challenge for this new title, and maybe this will be a warm-up for him. I think Dasher's involvement with the Roughnecks will be his downfall, as he won't be able to keep his focus on his opponent. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Claudio Castagnoli wins this match</span> and gets some momentum going for King of Trios and the eventual World Championship.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Eddie Kingston vs. Johnny Gargano</span><br /><br />And speaking of World Title contenders, one cannot forget about The Last of a Dying Breed, Eddie Kingston. No one in CHIKARA has been on as much of a roll as Kingston over the past year, and it would be foolish to pick against him at a time like this. He's like the John Cena of CHIKARA, except Kingston is about ten times better (which isn't to say that Cena is bad; rather, it is to say that Kingston is that damn good). Now, I like Johnny Gargano. He's got all the potential in the world to be a truly great wrestler. But when he's matched up against a guy like Eddie Kingston, I feel kind of bad for Gargano. He's going to be absolutely steamrolled on Saturday. I'm picturing Kingston vs. Castagnoli in the final match for the new World Championship. Wouldn't that be a poetic end to their long-standing feud? I think it would be. But both men need to build momentum towards that epic encounter, and as such, I'm picking <span style="font-weight: bold;">Eddie Kingston to win</span> and pretty well destroy Johnny Gargano.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Young Lions Cup Championship Match - Frightmare (c) vs. Rich Swann</span><br /><br />I wish I knew something about Rich Swann that would allow me to give good analysis for this match. But, sadly, I know nothing of this man. But I would think it is safe to say that if he is taking on Frightmare for the Young Lions Cup, he's got to be good. Frightmare has been an excellent Young Lions Cup champion, and I can't imagine his reign ending so soon. Nonetheless, this should be an excellent match. But I have to question whether Frightmare will be totally focused on Rich Swann since he is part of the UltraMantis Black vs. Sinn Bodhi feud, a feud that is gaining steam and intrigue with each passing show. Last month, it appeared that Bodhi and the Batiri had possibly struck an alliance with the BDK, but that has yet to be confirmed by any party. Now, UltraMantis, Hallowicked, and Frightmare are waist-deep in this feud, with no signs of slowing down. Hopefully, Frightmare will be able to keep what little measure of composure he has in order to retain the Young Lions Cup. I'll pick <span style="font-weight: bold;">Frightmare to win and retain the YLC</span>, though his grasp on it is more tenuous than I thought it was a month ago.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Campeonatos de Parejas Match - "Lightning" Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw (c's) vs. The Batiri (Obariyon and Kodama)</span><br /><br />Six months ago, Obariyon made his debut. I gave him the Rookie of the Year award. Kodama debuted a month after Obariyon. I will not be giving him any awards. These two have been pushed to the top of the company so quickly I'm a little surprised by it. Still, they are definitely a good pair to work for Sinn Bodhi. But are they ready for the Campeonatos de Parejas? I honestly can't see Jigsaw and Quackenbush dropping the titles here. Bodhi's feud with UltraMantis Black is still only in its infancy, and giving him too much power too quickly would seem a little overwhelming. Unless, of course, Bodhi is in collusion with the BDK, in which case it would be tough to side against the Batiri. Still, Jigsaw and Quackenbush have overcome incredible odds to become the Campeones, and dropping them just two months after winning them would feel like a hollow victory. And, on a more technical note, I still feel like Kodama is not ready for the spotlight. He's probably the most botch-prone member of the CHIKARA roster, including an ugly botch at the last show where he executed Hallowicked's step-up headscissors very poorly and injured his (Kodama's) shoulder. It looked awful. Obariyon is ready for the main roster, no question. But I just feel like Kodama could use a few more months of training before he'll be really ready. It feels like they kind of rushed him into the gimmick and the story before he was really ready to go. For that reason, I am going to pick <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw to retain the Campeonatos de Parejas</span>. It isn't the Batiri's time yet..<br /><br />So there you have it: picks for Caught in a Cauldron of Hate. Now, for Part Two of this Mega-Sized Episode, picks for...<br /><span style="font-size:180%;"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Clutch of Doom</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Ophidian vs. Icarus</span><br /><br />Man, when was the last time Icarus had two singles matches in a row? I certainly can't remember. Of course, I've only been following CHIKARA for ten months, so it could have happened before I started watching. Both F.I.S.T. and the Osirian Portal are competing in King of Trios 2011, so this match will probably help the momentum of one of these teams. But, as I stated earlier, the Portal is riding a wave of momentum the likes of which I haven't seen in a while. Well, other than Eddie Kingston's wave of momentum. If you haven't seen the video that made the Portal a viral sensation, I'll post it right here:<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/DU4TDGlbTz8" frameborder="0"></iframe><br /><br />If ever there was a promotion that made me suspend my disbelief, it's CHIKARA (or, in this case, the Osirian Portal in CZW). I can't see the Portal's momentum slowing down any time soon. I'll pick <span style="font-weight: bold;">Ophidian to win</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Throwbacks vs. The UnStable</span><br /><br />Similar to what I've been discussing in this episode, the Throwbacks probably won't be focused on this match or their opponents, whom I picked to win against 3.0 on Saturday. The blood feud the Throwbacks are embroiled in with the Roughnecks will likely be too much to allow them to focus on the UnStable. What does this mean? It means that the UnStable may very well reach a little closer to a title match. I wouldn't even be surprised if Brodie Lee and/or Grizzly Redwood make an appearance during this match just to screw the Throwbacks over. I'm picking <span style="font-weight: bold;">The UnStable to win</span> and pick up their second point, leaving them just one point shy of earning a title shot.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madison Eagles vs. Sara Del Rey</span><br /><br />I wasn't a big fan of Madison's match against Daizee Haze last month. It felt like Madison was too large for Daizee to work with, even though Daizee's been working matches against guys twice her size for some time now. I'm hoping that Sara Del Rey will match up better with Madison. Sara is definitely one of the best wrestlers in the world right now, male or female. Do toe ladies of the BDK gain a clean sweep over Madison Eagles? I'm not so sure. Daizee's win felt almost a little like a fluke victory, and even though Sara should match up more equally with Madison, I think that may be to Sara's disadvantage. Still, when you're backed by the BDK, there's always a good chance you'll win no matter what. If Derek Sabato's the referee for this match, Sara's chances of winning to up significantly. But I think that Madison could very well pull off a victory here. I'm picking <span style="font-weight: bold;">Madison Eagles to win</span> in what I'd consider a small upset.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Four Corner Elimination Match - The Osirian Portal (Amasis/Hieracon) vs. 3.0 vs. the BDK (Delirious/Daizee Haze) vs. Los Ice Creams</span><br /><br />With this style of match, one team could walk out of Easton, PA with the three points necessary to challenge Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw for the Campeonatos de Parejas. In fact, that's how Quack and Jig got their three points to challenge the BDK last year. But will any of these teams get all three points in this match? My gut says no. I'm pretty sure we can count Los Ice Creams out of the running immediately, despite how hilarious they are. 3.0 might bet a pinfall, but the chances of them winning the match are slim with the Osirian Portal and the BDK standing in their way. So that leaves us with two teams. And I hate to sound like a broken record, but the Portal's got all the momentum and the crowds in their corner. I don't think they can be stopped right now. They may only get one point out of it, but I'm picking<span style="font-weight: bold;"> The Osirian Portal to win</span> this match and have yet another team start their path to the Campeonatos.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Eddie Kingston vs. Max Boyer</span><br /><br />Johnny Gargano won't be able to stop the War King. Neither will Max Boyer. Eddie Kingston will not stop until he's beaten Claudio Castagnoli to within an inch of his life. It doesn't matter who is put in front of him, because Eddie Kingston will decimate anyone and everyone until he gets to Claudio. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Eddie Kingston wins this match</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked, and Frightmare vs. The Batiri (Obariyon, Kodama, and Kobald)</span><br /><br />Here is another reason why I don't believe the Batiri will defeat Quack and Jig on Saturday: they have a trios match the next night against their bitter rivals, UltraMantis Black and Incoherence, and I can't see them walking into Easton as the Campeones de Parejas. This will be the first time we will see the strange creature known as Kobald in action, so he is definitely a wild card in this match. UMB, Hallowicked, and Frightmare make a formidable trio, one I would consider nigh unbeatable in CHIKARA. But the Batiri have Sinn Bodhi at their side, and there's a damn good chance they will get back on a winning streak after Saturday's predicted loss. Both Incoherence and UltraMantis lost their matches last month to the Batiri, so I think they'll get a measure of revenge on Sunday. However, Sinn Bodhi's possible alliance with the BDK may lead to some unexpected interference, and I think <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Batiri will pick up the victory</span>. This might be a bitter pill to swallow, but the Batiri are on a roll, and I bet they'll make a big splash at King of Trios this year.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jigsaw vs. Tim Donst</span><br /><br />This match is kind of a summary of last season: one of the CHIKARA faithful facing off against a member of the nefarious Bruderschaft des Kreuzes. Jigsaw is still coming off some injuries, so he'll likely not be at 100%, especially after his match Saturday night against the Batiri. Tim Donst may very well continue climbing the singles ranks as he watched the BDK crumble underneath him. I'm not saying the BDK is done for. I'm saying that Donst is establishing his own singles career so he can stand on his own merits once the BDK does dissolve. Though it's tough to pick against Jigsaw, as he is one half of the Campeones de Parejas. Still, a win over Jigsaw would do wonders for Tim Donst's singles career. I'll pick <span style="font-weight: bold;">Tim Donst to win</span> and start stringing together singles wins.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Colony (Soldier Ant and Fire Ant) vs. The BDK (Claudio Castagnoli and Tursas)</span><br /><br />If you want to talk about a tall task for the Colony, look no further than the team presented to them on Sunday. Claudio is one of the hardest-hitting wrestlers out there, and Tursas...well, I'm pretty sure he weighs about as much as Soldier Ant and Fire Ant <span style="font-style: italic;">combined</span>. The Colony has the support of the fans and Green Ant, but Claudio and Tursas have the rest of the BDK, and possibly referee Derek Sabato. A win for Claudio and Tursas could be the first step towards reclaiming the Campeonatos de Parejas (well, for Claudio at least). Both teams need as much momentum as possible leading to King of Trios, and a win here would definitely put one of these teams as one of the front-runners for making it to the finals. When it all comes down to it, I can't picture the Colony making it past the imposing duo of Claudio and Tursas. I'm picking the <span style="font-weight: bold;">BDK to win</span>.<br /><br />Well, that's it, gentle readers. Two picks episodes in one. I hope you've enjoyed this super-sized edition of Rantables. But be sure to stay tuned, because in the next day or so I'll be giving my picks for WWE's Elimination Chamber PPV. Also, my thoughts on the host of Wrestlemania 27, and how it might have made me change my decision about my major announcement. So stick around, because there will be plenty more Rantables for everyone!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-44043618144674567872011-02-03T16:47:00.001-08:002011-02-03T17:44:13.403-08:00Episode 8 - Percolating Thoughts on the Royal RumbleWell, now that I've had a few days to digest the Royal Rumble and the subsequent Raw, I believe it's time for a review of sorts.<br /><br />Edge defeats Dolph Ziggler to retain the World Heavyweight Championship<br /><br />When I look back at the Rumble Pay-Per-View as a whole, in terms of matches in their entirety, this was by far the best match of the night. Edge and Ziggler fought tooth and nail for over twenty minutes, with plenty of twists and turns along the way. Playing up the fact that the spear was banned only made me wonder more how Edge would claim victory (since I did pick him to retain the title). Besides using a different finisher (which happened anyway), the ending was about the only way I could see Edge being able to use the spear to assist with a victory. With both the referee and Vickie Guerrero knocked out, Edge took his opportunity and hit Ziggler with the spear, then, as an homage to his former storyline brother/now best friend Christian, finished Ziggler off with an Unprettier (I refuse to call it by its new WWE name, the Kill Switch). Also, props to Matt Striker for forgetting to call it the Kill Switch, though I'm not sure he deserves props for likely screwing up the name of the finisher. All in all, this was an excellent match, and really the best chance of starting the PPV with a bang.<br /><br />The Miz defeats Randy Orton to retain the WWE Championship<br /><br />Two World Title matches, two dirty finishes. Except in this match, the Nexus was involved in the foul play. With the four underlings distracting the referee, Orton tossed Alex Riley, Miz's lackey, over the top rope and into the Nexus, taking them all out. But what really confused me was how the referee took his bump, falling away from the Nexus well before Riley landed on them, and acting as though he'd been hit with a sledgehammer to the gut. This allowed CM Punk to show up, hit Orton with a GTS (after Orton had hit Miz with an RKO) and drag Miz onto Orton's prone body, where the ref counted the pinfall. The match itself was okay, but when you have The Miz in a main event, you're not going to get as high quality a match as you would with a Rey Mysterio or an Undertaker. He's just not good in the ring. Orton is fairly "meh" himself. And, unless I completely missed something, no explanation was given as to why the Nexus interfered in the match, either at the PPV or on Raw the next night. I'll make one up: CM Punk figured that he was a shoe-in to win the Royal Rumble match, so he attempted to assure that he would be facing a weaker opponent at Wrestlemania by helping Miz win. But I suppose we'll never know. Just like when the Nexus interfered in the Buried Alive match between Kane and the Undertaker last year. No explanation given. I guess they just felt like it.<br /><br />Eve Torres defeats Nattie Neidhart, Michelle McCool, and Layla to become the NEW Diva's Champion<br /><br />I do believe we can toss this pick out since no one was in the know about Eve being added to this match. It was still a pretty decent WWE women's match, for what it's worth. I read a report that Amazing Kong was backstage, both at the Rumble and at Raw the next night, and I was praying that she would debut during either this match or the tag team match on Raw the next night. Alas, I was again disappointed. Wouldn't the tag match have been the perfect time for her to debut on WWE programming, just appearing and destroying all four women? It would have been awesome, I think.<br /><br />Alberto Del Rio wins the Royal Rumble Match<br /><br />I suppose when a wrestler talks about something being his destiny, you bet on it happening. Yes, I realize picking John Morrison to win was about as insane as picking Kofi Kingston to win it, but hey, I had to have one crazy pick that obviously wouldn't happen. I will say one thing, though: the first half of the Rumble match was easily the best half of any Rumble match I've ever seen. Of course, it also happened to have the talented half of the roster entirely contained within it. I'm sure seeing CM Punk and Daniel Bryan Danielson start the match and beat the shit out of each other was every Internet fan's wet dream match. Let's go through the match quickly (or about as quickly as I can be):<br /><br />John Morrison had probably the most spectacular spot of the night, when he was knocked off the ring apron but hit the barricade and clung to it like Spider-Man. He hoisted himself to the top of the barricade, did a little balancing act, and leaped from the barricade to the steel steps at the corner of the ring. Truly amazing stuff.<br /><br />Chavo Guerrero hitting nine consecutive suplexes on four different men was awesome in and of itself, and he got a pretty good crowd pop for it.<br /><br />Watching Tyler Reks get tossed out in about ten seconds made me smile from ear to ear.<br /><br />Seeing the Great Khali return made me cry. The man can barely walk now. He reminds me of Kevin Nash.<br /><br />I will freely admit that I got a little nostalgic when Booker T's music hit, and he came down to the ring just like old times. Thankfully WWE Creative decided not to revive the King Booker gimmick, which, while funny at times, was on the whole more annoying than entertaining. Sure, he got dumped out in about a minute, but he hit all his signature moves and got a huge crowd reaction when he did the Spin-a-roonie. I marked out for that.<br /><br />Unfortunately, the match took a turn for the worse after Booker's elimination, as John Cena came in, cleaned house, and eliminated the four remaining members of Nexus and teamed up with...sigh...Hornswoggle for way too long.<br /><br />Speaking of Nash, he also made a return to the WWE under his Diesel gimmick. While I wasn't as enthused as I was about Booker T's return, the crowd in Boston sure loved seeing Nash. I was surprised he got such an enormous crowd reaction. I think it was the biggest reaction of the night. And, as I figured, he was eliminated the only way a 50 year old man with wet noodles for legs can be: by missing a big boot, getting crotched on the top rope, and having someone shove him to the floor.<br /><br />Looking at the roster of the Royal Rumble match, it appears that several people who were named as participants did not, in fact, participate. Darren Young, David Hart Smith, and Primo were nowhere to be seen. And who were the nine unannounced entrants? Chavo Guerrero, Tyler Reks, The Great Khali, Booker T, Hornswoggle, Dolph Ziggler (HUH?), Kevil "Diesel" Nash, Alex Riley, and Randy Orton (BWAH?). So we have two total jobbers, a two giants with no knees between them, a midget, a lackey, the two guys who lost their respective World Title matches earlier in the show, and an old black guy. Awesome. Obviously, none of the people I picked to appear did, though I still think that, if nothing else, Triple H should have returned to eliminate Sheamus. Maybe he will at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Or maybe he'll never come back. Nah, he has a movie coming out, he has to return.<br /><br />Now, if you'll look at the order of appearance, the only person in the first half of the Rumble that could be considered main event level talent is CM Punk. And since most main event-level talent in WWE is below average as far as in-ring talent goes, the second half of the Rumble was far inferior to the first half. Which is a shame, since you really want your shows to end on a high note instead of languishing in the doldrums of futility. Hey, that's a pretty good song lyric right there...anyway, the show was okay overall. The World Heavyweight Championship match was the best match on the show for sure.<br /><br />Now, let's look at the two matches set up for the Elimination Chamber show in a couple of weeks. We have the Raw Elimination Chamber, which will determine the WWE Champion's opponent at Wrestlemania (since Alberto Del Rio chose to face the World Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemania), and we have our WWE Championship match: The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler. Wow. I never would have expected Jerry Lawler to be main eventing a PPV in this day and age. I still must give the man credit: he can still work a match at 61, which is more than I can say for just about any other old wrestler currently out there (with the possible exceptions of Terry Funk and Johnny Saint (go look him up)). Though I was expecting him to be part of the Elimination Chamber and cede his spot to Triple H, which also would have been a fine way to reintroduce Triple H to WWE programming. But Creative has let that golden opportunity slip through their fingers. And we now have an Elimination Chamber match featuring John Cena, John Morrison, R-Truth, Randy Orton, Sheamus, and CM Punk. It's a (mostly) stacked match, but it's tough to imagine anyone other than Cena or Orton winning. Mostly because it's nigh impossible to imagine Jerry Lawler winning the WWE Championship and defending it in the main event at Wrestlemania.<br /><br />Now, what remains to be seen is what purpose the Smackdown Elimination Chamber will serve. Will it be for the World Heavyweight Championship? Will it just be one for the hell of it? Or will there be one at all? I'm sure the answers will be revealed on Friday night.<br /><br />Well, I suppose that will do it for Episode 8. On a much more positive note, I ordered CHIKARA's Season 10 opener, Chaos in the Sea of Lost Souls, today, so it should be arriving in the next few days, and I can give a full and proper review of it. So stay tuned for that one. I will catch you all next time!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-2296032326033624822011-01-30T14:34:00.000-08:002011-01-30T15:50:11.796-08:00Episode 7 - Royal Rumble PicksUnfortunately, CHIKARA's latest show has not yet been released on DVD, so you'll have to wait a bit longer for a review of it. So instead I bring you what will probably end up being a fairly short picks episode to cover the Royal Rumble.<br /><br />I'll be frank here: I have been almost completely disappointed with the WWE product over the past few months. Storylines have been moving far too quickly, and despite the new faces at the top of the Raw and Smackdown rosters, everything still feels the same as it's been for the past five years. The fact that I can't remember what happens from week to week is indicative that the shows are not memorable (and have nothing at all to do with my horrible memory). And because the product has been so poor, I fell far behind and have had to work to catch up, which only made me have to watch more of it over a shorter period of time. It was unpleasant. Just today, I watched the second half of last week's Smackdown and this week's Raw and Smackdown. I gave up on NXT a while ago, and haven't watched Superstars in weeks since nothing important ever happens on that show. So I think it's safe to say that today was difficult for me. But I made it, and have just finished watching this past Friday's episode of Smackdown, which despite all its flaws, had a fantastic promo by Cody Rhodes. I hope he continues to deliver promos with his back turned to the camera.<br /><br />And so that brings me to the Royal Rumble. This year, WWE decided to knock the Rumble match itself up a notch by increasing the number of participants from 30 to 40. Whether each man enters at the same time interval as they used to remains in question, but if it's the same two minutes as before, we're looking at a match that will be a minimum of 76 minutes. And with only three other matches on the card, I'm betting we're either getting a bonus match or the Rumble match will last over 80 minutes. I hope someone goes the distance. Working an 80 minute match is unheard of nowadays...well, in mainstream "sports entertainment" it is. I hope the #1 or #2 entrant goes all the way to the end. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's look at the other matches on the card.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Two on One Handicap Diva's Championship Match - Natalya (c) vs. LayCool</span><br /><br />Dear sweet jesus in heaven, I am sick of LayCool. I would wish death upon them, but that would mean death would have to deal with them afterward, and I can't put that burden upon him. I do not know how this gimmick has lasted this long. Every word out of their mouths is a hailstorm of displeasure, like nails on a chalkboard, like aluminum foil being chewed. Every second they speak feels like I'm being forced to listen to huge styrofoam blocks being rubbed together for hours on end. It's like having to watch Dane Cook do stand-up comedy. Yeah, it's that bad. How WWE hasn't been bombarded by negative feedback by all the women's rights groups out there is beyond me. Unless, of course, they have been and are keeping quiet about the issue. What? There's a match? Oh, right. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Natalya wins</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">World Heavyweight Championship Match - Edge (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler</span><br /><br />Vickie Guerrero, the hideous monstrosity of WWE programming, has banned Edge from using the spear. You know what that means: Edge will find a new way to win. Like most "feuds" WWE puts out these days, this came entirely out of nowhere, akin to referees appearing out of hammerspace whenever something goes down backstage. Zlggler lost the Intercontinental Championship to Kofi Kingston (I still question that decision, though I realize now that Kofi will never move to main event status in WWE), was put in a #1 Contender's Match, and squeaked through with a victory. This after the awful end to the Intercontinental Title Ladder Match at TLC makes for some serious head scratching. Why Ziggler? Why now? Why did Kane disappear for so long after the Last Man Standing match with Edge? What about everyone else in the main event on Smackdown? Oh, right...there isn't anyone else! Rey Mysterio and Alberto Del Rio are stuck in a never-ending feud that may rival the infinite feud between Robert Roode and Eric Young a few years back on TNA. When they had their two out of three falls match, the announcers were claiming it would be the end of their rivalry. Yet here we are, weeks later, and they're still facing off, albeit in tag team matches. Still, it feels like they'll never be rid of each other, which is a detriment to Del Rio. Mysterio is such a great worker, what will happen when Del Rio has to work against a less talented opponent? Will he succeed or flounder?<br /><br />Okay, I got waaaaaay off topic there. Anyway, while this feud does have some interesting ties to the past, what with Edge and Vickie being married and all, it still involves Vickie Guerrero, who you would think by now would be able to deliver her promos without making it sound like she's saying words written by someone else in a very deliberate manner. She has no charisma. It's like how Michael Cole reads his GM announcements from a piece of paper laying on the laptop keyboard. That's what every Vickie Guerrero promo sounds like: as though she's reading from a piece of paper and hasn't memorized her lines. Once again, I've gone way off topic. I apologize. Is it Ziggler's time? Had Vickie not banned the spear, I would say maybe. But because she banned Edge's finisher, there is no doubt that he'll find another way to win. And he will. <span style="font-weight: bold;"> Edge wins and retains the World Heavyweight Championship</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">WWE Championship - The Miz (c) vs. Randy Orton</span><br /><br />Snore. That's all I have to say. You know my thoughts on The Miz (please go read Episode 1 if you haven't already), and Orton has bored me for years. I have other thoughts on Orton and Miz which I will save for an episode I will be publishing very soon. Anyway, I feel like this match should be Miz vs. Morrison. I think Creative blew their load too early when they had Miz vs. Morrison just a week after Morrison became the #1 Contender. And while the match itself was pretty good, I think it would have been better as a Pay-Per-View match instead of being broadcast on free TV. Well, not really free TV since most people pay for cable or a satellite dish. I'm still of the mindset that Miz vs. Morrison could have been a great feud, but that ship has sailed and I'm going to just grit my teeth, sigh, and move on. I feel like this is going to be the most predictable match of the night. Miz will lose by disqualification and keep the WWE Title, as is usually the case when you have a wimpy character for a champion. Rather coincidentally, just as Randy Orton himself did in 2009 with Legacy. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase would always ruin any title match Orton was in just so he could keep the title. And Miz is getting similar results with Alex Riley by his side and Michael Cole allowing Miz to put his wang dang doodle in Cole's bumhole on a nightly basis. What? The match? I already said it: <span style="font-weight: bold;">Randy Orton wins by disqualification, and The Miz keeps the WWE Title</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Royal Rumble Match</span><br /><br />Let's look at the participants, shall we? By the way, I won't be reading spoilers for the few spots left in the match.<br /><br />Who can I immediately take out of contention for winning this match? Let's go through the list...Chris Masters, Darren Young, DH Smith, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, JTG, Mark Henry, Primo, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Ted DiBiase, Tyson Kidd (what happened to his bodyguard?), Vlad Kozlov, William Regal, Yoshi Tatsu, and Zack Ryder. We can also eliminate every member of Nexus and The Corre besides CM Punk and Wade Barrett. So we've removed 23 names already. 17 left. Six spots are apparently left open for now, so we've got 11 names to go through.<br /><br />Alberto Del Rio - he's been on both Raw and Smackdown for weeks, claiming that winning the Royal Rumble is his destiny. The fact that he's on both shows proves that there is no separation between said shows anymore. Everyone can travel wherever they want, whenever they want. Anyway, Del Rio should have a strong showing, but I don't think he'll be winning the Rumble this year.<br /><br />Big Show - as he stated on Smackdown this past Friday, he's never won the Rumble match, mostly because a half dozen guys team up to eliminate him every year. Will this be his year? I doubt it. Show is nearing 40, and while he's still a consummate entertainer, I don't think he has much in-ring time left. I do enjoy his promos as a face very much, but having him as a face world champion just doesn't feel like something I could get behind. Now, I wouldn't mind seeing him in an authority role, say, as a GM? Probably later down the road.<br /><br />CM Punk - Punk has a really good chance of winning the Rumble match this year, with four men working to make sure he's the victor. Harris, McGillicutty, Otunga, and the Welsh Scott Steiner, Mason Ryan, will all be fending off all comers. Though I'd expect a brawl between Nexus and The Corre at some point with a flurry of eliminations coming from that potential feud that just feels like the NWO all over again...but I digress. I wouldn't be surprised to see Punk in the final four.<br /><br />Daniel Bryan Danielson - I mostly just didn't want to lump him in with the other obvious losers. Hell, if it were up to me, DBD would win this and go destroy Miz at Wrestlemania. Hey, if that happens, I'll give Creative credit. But because it's a GOOD idea, it won't happen. Still, I'd love to see DBD beat the crap out of some fools, and I'm sure plenty of other IWC smarks would love to see it too. Side note: nice job getting Gail Kim as your (I'm guessing only) on-screen girlfriend. Kudos to you, good sir.<br /><br />John Cena - Like every other match he's ever involved in, it's hard to discount Cena's chances of winning the Royal Rumble. He won it a couple of years ago, and as always, has a good chance of winning. But with nine men gunning for his removal from the match, his chances this year are probably significantly lower than they are most years. Still, I'd expect him to toss some Nexus and/or Corre members out of the match before getting tossed by Punk and/or Barrett. Final four? Maybe. Winner? Doubtful.<br /><br />John Morrison - He's here for the same reason DBD is: because I didn't want him to be lumped in with the obvious losers. Morrison needs a revamp of his character, because it's stagnant. Of course, with his possible knee injury sustained on Raw, he may not even be in the match, let alone compete for an extended period of time. He doesn't have a chance of winning, but hey, we can dream, right?<br /><br />Kane - Returning from a month-long absence only to kick Alberto Del Rio's head off and leave will only make Kane a more dangerous competitor this year. Kane is always dominant in the Royal Rumble, and I'm hoping he breaks his own record for most eliminations in a single Rumble match. That being said, he won't win the match, as his feud with Edge was atrocious at best, and I can't see him facing Miz at Wrestlemania. I couldn't call that a main event even if you paid me...well, unless you paid me a LOT of money...<br /><br />Kofi Kingston - Same boat as DBD and Morrison. Also, why no Intercontinental or United States Championship matches? I am disappointed. I've all but given up on Kofi moving to the main event in WWE. Since Vince is apparently afraid to pull the trigger, he'll languish in the mid-card probably forever or until he quits and goes somewhere where his talents are appreciated.<br /><br />Rey Mysterio - He has no chance of winning, but he'll probably stick around for a while and eliminate Del Rio, keeping their never-ending feud going for a few weeks more.<br /><br />Sheamus - Also has no chance of winning, but he'll likely be eliminated by Triple H somehow, either by Hunter's return or a distraction of some sort. I don't know if he's actually returning, but there's no better place to make your triumphant return than at the Royal Rumble.<br /><br />Wade Barrett - He'll probably be in the same boat as CM Punk. Will he make it to the final four? That I do not know.<br /><br />As to the six remaining unnamed participants, one can only speculate as to who they may be...that, or read the spoilers. I am not one to read spoilers (except for TNA, because they make me laugh so much). So I'll make my own speculations as to who may fill the final six spots.<br /><br />Triple H - After nine months without him, he'll come back to screw over Sheamus. It has to happen.<br /><br />Christian - He's been gone for months, and I'm sure just about everyone in the IWC has missed him terribly. Will he return today? Let's hope so.<br /><br />Jerry Lawler - Hey, he's been working matches for the past few weeks. Why not toss him in there?<br /><br />Chris Jericho - This is a long shot, but I think his Fozzy tour is over and I bet he's itching to get back into the ring.<br /><br />Evan Bourne - Another long shot, since he's still not fully recovered from an injury he sustained last year. But hey, Edge came back months ahead of schedule, so it could happen with Bourne as well.<br /><br />Tyler Black - Hey, why not?<br /><br />But the question remains: who will win the Rumble? If I had to narrow it down to a final four, I'd say we'll have CM Punk, Wade Barrett, John Morrison, and Triple H. As to who wins? Jeez...you know what? What the hell, I'll pick <span style="font-weight: bold;">John Morrison to win the Royal Rumble</span>. I'm quite sure I'll be wrong, but hey, your guess is as good as mine.<br /><br />So there you have it. That's the Royal Rumble in a nutshell. Not a fantastic show, but the Rumble Match could provide some fun moments. See you all later with a results/review episode!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-4211391681579122162011-01-22T18:50:00.000-08:002011-01-22T20:08:04.828-08:00Episode 6 - CHIKARA: Chaos in the Sea of Lost Souls PicksWell, folks, it's time for my very first non-WWE picks episode! And what better promotion to kick things off than what I believe to be the best wrestling promotion in the world today, CHIKARA! Even though I've only been watching CHIKARA for about nine months, I've been absolutely hooked to the product. Their storylines are excellent, the pacing is fantastic, and the characters are a thousand times more memorable than just about every other promotion out there. Last season ended with a bang, as Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw finally dethroned the Bruderschaft des Kreuzes (Ares and Claudio Castagnoli) from the top of the mountain. But the BDK isn't finished just yet. And what to make of Sinn Bodhi, the new player in this ever-growing feud between CHIKARA and the BDK? A lot of stories are coming to a head, and we're only at the first show of the year! It's a stacked card, with eight matches, all of which look great on paper. Let's take a look at them, shall we?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Osirian Portal (Amasis and Ophidian) and Jonathan Gresham vs. F.I.S.T. (Icarus, Chuck Taylor, and Johnny Gargano)</span><br /><br />In the wake of Quackenbush and Jigsaw winning the Campeonatos de Parejas, I completely forgot about Gresham's debut match at Reality is Relative. Gresham is a kid with tremendous talent and limitless potential, and having been aligned with the Osirian Portal, he's got a couple of great mentors. If you've been following CHIKARA's official Youtube page (and if you haven't, go flagellate yourself and then subscribe to their channel), you'll see Gresham being taught the ways of the Egyptian. And he's set to re-debut on Sunday against probably the most prominent trio in wrestling today, F.I.S.T., who gained a new member just recently. "The Whole Shebang" Johnny Gargano was initiated into the group after Gran Akuma, their former third member, was unceremoniously discarded from the group. Gargano has proved to be a great fit for F.I.S.T., as they've looked as dominant as ever. But will they keep their roll going against the Portal and Gresham? It's tough to say. On the one hand, F.I.S.T. is the first team to have qualified for the 2011 King of Trios tournament, and they need as much momentum as possible after losing in the quarterfinals to Team Osaka Pro last year. On the other hand, Jonathan Gresham needs some push as one of the new faces of CHIKARA, and the Portal probably wants to qualify for the King of Trios tournament as well. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I'm going to pick F.I.S.T. to win this match</span>, as I'm a little worried that Gresham's re-debut will cause problems between him and the Portal. F.I.S.T. will take its first step towards looking like a strong contender for the King of Trios crown.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Madison Eagles vs. Daizee Haze</span><br /><br />2010 was a good year for Daizee Haze. She joined the BDK, ran roughshod over the CHIKARA roster, and, along with Sara Del Ray, prevented quite a few capable tag teams from reaching the three points necessary to challenge for the Campeonatos de Parejas (that's Tag Team Championships for the uninitiated). However, the year ended rather abruptly for Haze, as she was (I believe) legitimately injured in her match against the Colony at Reality is Relative. I think she might have gotten her nose broken or something. All I know is the match ended a lot sooner than it should have. As for Madison Eagles, all I know is that she is the current SHIMMER champion and has been since April. Eagles is 6'1", so she'll be towering over Haze. But Haze has never backed down from a fight against larger opponents, and she's taken on some incredible talent as well, including a great match with Manami Toyota at Eye to Eye. A lot of "outside" talent has had a tough time winning against CHIKARA's main roster, but I think this will not be the case. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Madison Eagles will get the victory</span>, though it's going to be a hard-fought one.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Incoherence (Hallowicked and Frightmare) vs. The Batiri (Obariyon and Kodama)</span><br /><br />Something that many loyal CHIKARA followers never thought would happen happened at Reality is Relative: Hallowicked seemed to put aside his long-standing feud with UltraMantis Black in order to help Mantis against Sinn Bodhi and the Batiri. Whether or not this alliance lasts is yet to be seen. Obariyon and Kodama are on a roll to say the least, as they have already racked up two points, and need just one more victory in order to challenge for the Campeonatos de Parejas. These are two strange teams when you think about it. Hallowicked and Frightmare communicate in gibberish (at least it's gibberish to the average person), and I don't think Obariyon and Kodama speak at all. But the Batiri have tons of potential in the ring, and with a leader like Sinn Bodhi, they've got everything going their way. On the flip side, it's been a while since we've seen Incoherence team up...well, actually, more like three months. But that's still a while when you're running one or two shows a month. When it comes to this match, I think the Batiri's wave of momentum will be too much for the first Young Lion's Cup Champion and the Current Young Lion's Cup Champion to overcome. <span style="font-weight: bold;"> I'm picking The Batiri to win</span> and pick up their third point, making them eligible to challenge for the Tag Team Titles.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Da Soul Touchaz (Marshe Rockett, Acid Jaz, and Willie Richardson) vs. The BDK (Sara Del Rey, Lince Dorado, and Tursas)</span><br /><br />Only one team had the BDK's number throughout 2010, and that was Da Soul Touchaz. But everything came to a screeching halt at Scornucopia, when the BDK destroyed the manager and valet of DST, C. Red and Dymond. Dymond was piledriven onto the mat by Del Ray, and Red was crushed by a Tursas second-rope splash. It was a horrible sight, indeed, and it put a damper on an otherwise excellent show. Now, it's three months later, Da Soul Touchaz are without their emotional support, and they're mad as hell. The BDK is by no means finished, and this match may prove to us that they're still the dominant force in CHIKARA. While a lot of the mystique surrounding Tursas is gone now that Eddie Kingston became the first person to take Tursas off his feet (twice), you still cannot deny that Tursas is the most destructive force in CHIKARA today. But I'd put Willie Richardson right in the same boat. These teams match up extremely well: Marshe Rockett with Lince Dorado, Acid Jaz with Sara Del Ray, and Willie Richardson with Tursas. When it comes right down to it, I think the anger of Da Soul Touchaz will cost them the match. As wrong as it feels to say this,<span style="font-weight: bold;"> I'm picking the BDK to win</span>, though it may be by disqualification. Should be an intense match.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">UltraMantis Black vs. Sinn Bodhi</span><br /><br />There's so much history between these two, it's going to be difficult to summarize it. In fact, I think <a href="http://www.chikarapro.com/blog/12-14-2010.php">UltraMantis himself</a> would provide a better explanation than anything I can provide. Go ahead and read that to get some background on this feud. With that much of a build-up, I think it's safe to say that this is merely the beginning of a long feud. Mantis is a seasoned veteran of the CHIKARA ring, while Bodhi will be working in his first CHIKARA match. Perhaps we'll get to see what Bodhi can do in the ring, seeing as how he never got a chance in a WWE ring as he was saddled with the remarkably awful Kizarny gimmick. It still pops up during promos, but you can actually understand what he's saying now. Anyway, this should be a pretty brutal match, and I honestly can't see Mantis picking up the victory here. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sinn Bodhi wins his first match in CHIKARA</span>, and keeps his stable's momentum going.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Throwbacks vs. The Roughnecks</span><br /><br />It's good to see both of these teams back together. Sugar Dunkerton and Dasher Hatfield felt like lost souls when they were apart, and it feels so right now that they're back together. On the other side, Grizzly Redwood and Brodie Lee just look like they belong together. Last month, the Throwbacks got some revenge on the Roughnecks, but this feud is far from over. Hatfield and Dunkerton need momentum towards the King of Trios tournament (could a reunion with Matt Classic be on the horizon?), as do the Roughnecks (though I doubt they'll be teaming with Eddie Kingston any time soon). I have a feeling these teams will be trading victories up till the King of Trios and well past it as well. So who wins this match? Well, since the Throwbacks won in December,<span style="font-weight: bold;"> I'll bet the Roughnecks win this month</span>.<br /><br />I just realized that I'm picking an awful lot of heels to win their matches. Guess it's just one of those months...<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Eddie Kingston vs. El Generico</span><br /><br />Kingston is coming off a banner year, and Generico is coming off what many believe could have been the biggest match of his career. I chronicled Kingston's year in my <a href="http://rantableswrestling.blogspot.com/2010/12/episode-5-second-annual-golden.html">awards episode</a> last month, and Generico sent Kevin Steen packing from ROH after their bout at Final Battle 2010 (which I still need to see, since I'll be watching ROH this year for the first time). As this is their first match against each other, they don't really have any history. But I can say one thing's for sure: this match is going to be awesome, and I'd love to see El Generico in CHIKARA on even a semi-regular basis. However, I think<span style="font-weight: bold;"> this match is going to go to Eddie Kingston</span>. He's just on too much of a roll to pick against him. Though I wouldn't be surprised if the BDK interferes and costs him the match. So it's really a toss-up. But <span style="font-weight: bold;">I'll still go with Kingston</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Lightning" Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw (c's) and The Colony (Soldier Ant and Fire Ant) vs. the Bruderschaft des Kreuzes (Ares, Claudio Castagnoli, Tim Donst, and Delirious)</span><br /><br />This match has plenty of criss-crossing storylines. Quack and Jig won the Campeonatos de Parejas from Ares and Claudio, while The Colony lost to the BDK in the finals of the 2010 King of Trios. I would love this match to be an elimination-style match, but I don't believe it is. Alas...anyway, this will likely be the most chaotic match of the night, especially if Derek Sabato, the BDK's personal referee, calls the match. You can bet that Ares and Claudio want a shot at the Tag Team Titles as soon as possible, but they'll have to get some regular tag team wins under their belts before challenging for...the belts...yeah. Expect a lot of high-flying, death-defying maneuvers, as well as a lot of technical wrestling and some serious bad blood. This should be a real barn-burner of a match. But when the dust clears, who will be the victor? That's a tough call. Quack and Jig are riding high after they became the Campeones de Parejas, and The Colony will soon be whole once again once Green Ant is cleared to wrestle, and both teams could in theory form strong trios for the King of Trios tournament. The BDK may have something to say about that, however, as the reigning Kings. I think this may be another step in the right direction for CHIKARA. The BDK is on unstable ground, and they're teetering on the brink of collapse. One match alone won't push them over the edge, but a match like this will certainly hamper their hopes of staying the most dominant force in CHIKARA. <span style="font-weight: bold;">I'll pick Quack, Jig, and The Colony to win this match</span>, possibly with some outside interference from Eddie Kingston. I really want to see Kingston vs. Castagnoli.<br /><br />So there you have it: my first CHIKARA picks episode. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had writing it. Unfortunately, I won't be doing a review/results episode until the DVD comes out, which usually isn't for a week or two after the show, so keep an eye out for that. I'll also be making my major announcement very soon, so stay tuned for that as well. Until next time, this is Rantables, the rantinest, ravinest rasslin' blog on the interwebs!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-13573741895863236782011-01-16T17:19:00.001-08:002011-01-16T17:23:52.730-08:00Quick UpdateI'm sorry I haven't been writing at all since the new year has passed by. It's safe to say that plenty has been going on. But rest assured, more content will be coming more frequently very soon, including a major announcement by yours truly. While I'm working on this, please take a few minutes and watch this video that I first saw on Wrestleview a couple of weeks ago. Suffice to say that it's both very interesting and a little surprising.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/p4Cq8KeLv2I?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/p4Cq8KeLv2I?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />I'm shocked that over 30 people on WWE television shows were laid off last year (and several more retired or left of their own volition). Take a moment to reflect on that, and be thankful that you have a job (if, in fact, you have one). I'll be back in about a week with my first ever CHIKARA picks episode. It's sure to be a good'un. See you then!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9174706669294714827.post-67061544209136964092010-12-31T10:27:00.000-08:002010-12-31T13:56:38.143-08:00Episode 5 - The Second Annual Golden Rantables Awards!Well, another year has come and gone, and it's time to give out awards for the most (and least) deserving people in the crazy little world of pro wrestling. Even though this is only the fifth post on this blog, I did have the First Annual Golden Rantables Awards on my previous blog on Wordpress, and since one of my friends suggested I upload them to this site and backlog them, you'll likely get a chance to read those as well. I'd like to think that these awards are vaguely entertaining and a little unique compared to the thousands of other bloggers out there. I hope that's the case, anyway. So, without further ado, let's give out the first Rantie!<br /><br />The Most Inexplicable Face/Heel or Heel/Face Turn of the Year goes to...Ezekiel Jackson's face turn! BWAH? When did that happen? Some people remember Jackson as the last ECW Champion. I choose not to remember that moment and consider Christian the last ECW Champion. Anyway, he showed up on Smackdown for about a minute, got injured, and was moved to Raw, where he ended up on Raw's Bragging Rights team, seemingly still a heel. Yet after that, I guess he turned face for no reason whatsoever. Or, at least, that's what I'm guessing happened, since during the King of the Ring tournament, which he was a part of, were he considered a heel (which I still thought he was) there would have been a disproportionate number of heels to faces (5 to 3, for those keeping score). Not that it mattered anyway. Yet Jackson started high-fiving fans when walking down to the ring and generally smiling and seeming to be nice. For no reason at all. And he's back on Smackdown, which says to me that (hopefully) his time on WWE television is short-lived. The guy reminds me so much of Ahmed Johnson it's sad.<br /><br />Okay, I've got to keep this moving, as I've got a ton of awards to give out.<br /><br />The Most Blatant Ass-Covering Award goes to...The Stand Up for WWE Campaign! If you couldn't tell, this entire campaign was created merely to cover WWE's ass so Linda McMahon would have a snowball's chance in hell of winning a US Senate seat. It didn't work, obviously, since she was running as a Republican in Connecticut. Bad move, Linda. I was absolutely disgusted with how Vince and Co. tried to pass this off as a positive, trying to show how wholesome WWE can be, all the whole having a storyline where two brothers basically tried to kill each other. Great job, guys. Please stop trying to muscle your way into other areas of life and concentrate on entertaining the fans.<br /><br />The "Cursed Finisher" Award goes to...Pay Dirt! Remember when Shelton Benjamin used this as a finisher? Then he got future endeavored? Then MVP adopted it? Then HE got fired? And now Heath Slater is using it? And how he'll probably get fired? People need to stop using this as a finisher. Do what Dolph Ziggler did: reverse the move and you'll get a major storyline on Smackdown and a long run as the Intercontinental Champion.<br /><br />And since we're on the topic of finishing maneuvers...<br /><br />The Greatest Miscarriage of Justice in Relation to a Finishing Maneuver Award goes to...Tyler Reks' NOT Burning Hammer. Goddamnit, Matt Striker, I thought you knew better. First off, if ANYONE used the Burning Hammer as a finisher, Tyler Reks is the last guy I would consider worthy of using it. Second, IT ISN'T THE DAMN BURNING HAMMER! Reks uses an Inverted Death Valley Driver. With the Burning Hammer, the opponent lands very high on his shoulders with his back to the mat. With Reks' finisher, the opponent lands face-down on the mat, having made a 180 degree rotation in the air. The Burning Hammer is a legitimately very dangerous finisher, which is why it's only been used a few times in the history of wrestling. So please, for the sake of all the smarks out there, DON'T CALL IT A BURNING HAMMER! Yeesh...<br /><br />Best Finisher - This award will be given to two separate people, since I only really watched two promotions this year: WWE and CHIKARA, and I feel that both deserve a Best Finisher Award.<br /><br />WWE - Kaval's Warrior's Way. Yes, Vince has finally let the Shooting Star Press and the 450 Splash back in (thanks to finally allowing more agile wrestlers work in roles other than bottom-dwelling jobber), but nothing looks quite as awesome as the Warrior's Way. I mean, Kaval jumps off the top rope and stomps both feet directly into the chest of his opponent! If he did that for real, there would be a trail of corpses behind him. It's just epic. Too bad he's gone from WWE.<br /><br />CHIKARA - I'm not sure I can give this to one person. UltraMantis Black's Praying Mantis Bomb, Mike Quackenbush's Quackendriver 3, Eddie Kingston's Backfist to the Future, Frightmare's Kneecolepsy, Pinkie Sanchez's Burning Snicklefritz (a REAL Burning Hammer), Brodie Lee's Big Boot...I think it's safe to say that CHIKARA wrestlers know how to create an awesome finishing maneuver.<br /><br />The "I've Got Big Plans For You" Award goes to...Husky Harris! Harris is a unique competitor. He's a 300-pounder, but he isn't a bodybuilder. Yet despite the fact that he looks more like me than someone Vince thinks we should like, he's very agile and deceptively fast. I think that if Creative gets off their asses and realizes what they've got in him, he could be a World Champion within a couple of years. Or bring his brother up from developmental and form a tag team. Lord knows the tag division is utterly pathetic right now. Speaking of tag teams...<br /><br />The "They Were Here a Minute Ago..." Award goes to...The Usos! Unless they've been on Superstars the past few weeks, I've not heard anything about them since Tamina basically abandoned them to become Santino's girlfriend. Weird, I know. But I believe the Usos got a raw deal. Just a few months back, they were in a high-profile feud with the Hart Dynasty, right up until the abhorrently awful team of Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre took the tag titles from the Dynasty, effectively ending any chance the Usos might have had at winning the titles. Now, they're gone. These two were very talented and showed a lot of promise. Hell, had Creative actually done what I said and kept the Hart/Usos program going for a year or two, it could have finally brought some prestige to the tag division, which, as you may know, has never had prestige in any company owned by one Vince McMahon. Anyway, I think taking any Samoan wrestler off the air is idiotic, and not having any on television leaves a huge (pun intended) hole on the roster.<br /><br />The Zack Ryder "How is He Still Employed?" Award goes to...we have a tie! The Award goes to: Darren Young, The Great Khali, Yoshi Tatsu, Joey Mercury, Tyler Reks, and, of course, Zack Ryder! Young hasn't shown any improvement since being kicked out of Nexus, having a couple of matches with William Regal, and disappearing from TV, Khali's been gone for months, Tatsu hasn't had a storyline since he left ECW (which is a shame), Mercury's been off TV since the Straight Edge Society collapsed months ago, Reks is just god-awful, and Ryder is merely an embarassment to the business in general. Oh, and about half the women on the WWE roster. Congratulations, everyone! You'd be better off cutting meat at your local supermarket's deli! Well, some of you, anyway. A couple of you could probably make a living in the indies.<br /><br />The Eric Young "Most Face/Heel/Face/Heel/ad infinitum Turns" Award goes to...Edge! Last year, when Edge injured his Achilles tendon, he was a major heel, and a tag team champion with Chris Jericho. Edge returns early this year, as a face, and takes on Jericho. Jericho then outs Edge as a fake, and Edge turns heel again. Then, he turns face AGAIN when he returns to Smackdown after a brief stint on Raw, and (to me, at least) essentially turns heel once again during his horrible feud with Kane at the end of the year. That's FOUR turns in one year. I know that four turns is below average when you take TNA into account, but it's a ridiculous number in any other promotion on earth. And it's made for a weak character that I don't believe deserves a World Heavyweight Championship reign at this point.<br /><br />The Most Extremely Cute Wrestler of the Year goes to...Colin Delaney Olsen! If you don't get this, you probably haven't seen a CHIKARA show. Go do that now.<br /><br />Biggest Acquisition(s) of the Year:<br /><br />WWE - Tyler Black, Consequences Creed, and AMAZING KONG. Tyler Black is a former ROH Champion, Creed was a real up-and-comer in TNA before being disposed of for no reason at all, and Kong is Kong. I'm shocked WWE signed Kong, but I think she could really invigorate the woeful women's division. Yes, only three or four women could hang with her, but maybe that's for the best. Have her destroy Alicia Fox, Kelly Kelly, and all the skinny models who can't string two moves together, and have the women's division be about competition. Who wouldn't want to see Nattie Neidhart face Amazing Kong? I sure as hell would.<br /><br />CHIKARA - Sinn Bodhi/Kizarny. If you haven't seen the season finale, Reality is Realtive, but are planning to, stop reading now. Though I did just give something away by mentioning his name. Anyway...remember when UltraMantis Black was fighting off the BDK during his match with Ares at The Germans, and he called for his anonymous bodyguards, who turned out to be Obariyon and Kodama, only to have Obariyon and Kodama be summoned away by a mysterious figure cloaked in black? Yeah, that was Sinn Bodhi. Effing A, man. This is setting up a metric assload of story for the next season, one that I am eagerly anticipating.<br /><br />Biggest Loss(es):<br /><br />WWE - MVP and Kaval. Well, not so much MVP, as he'd been languishing in lower mid-card status for over a year, and probably (thanks to Creative) wasn't going to move up the ladder any time soon. It's a real shame, as back in 2007 and early 2008, he was the hottest commodity they had, and many people pegged him as a future World Champion. But Creative dropped the ball by dropping his push faster than I drop $20 on a CHIKARA DVD, and he never made it to the main event. Kaval, on the other hand, was never going to move up, since I think Vince hated him from the start. He was a massive fan favorite (not just the internet geeks, Mr. Cole) and had all the talent in the world to go to the top of any other promotion on the planet. But he was saddled with LayCool at the start, and won, what, one match during his run on Smackdown? What a crying shame. Had Vince actually been willing to push Kaval the same way he pushed Rey Mysterio, we (the fans) might actually sing the praises of Vince for finally changing his tune. But we should have known better than to think that Vince would change his tune after keeping it the same for 30 years. It's a damn shame.<br /><br />Still reading? Just checking. We've still got a ways to go, so go grab a sandwich or something.<br /><br />Okay? Let's continue.<br /><br />The "FINALLY!" Award goes to...John Morrison FINALLY getting a WWE Title shot. Yes, it's next week on Raw, and no, there's no way in hell he's going to win a Falls Count Anywhere match with Miz having Alex Riley in his employ and Michael Cole in his back pocket, but it's taken a year and a half for Morrison to get a world title shot. And he gets it on Raw? LAME. I was really hoping they'd square off at the Royal Rumble, but apparently Creative loves to speed up everything to the point where if you miss one week, a half dozen storylines have advanced too far for you to recognize what's gone on when you tune in the next week. It's awful! Creative, here's a tip for you:<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NvlW4bEjB5A?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NvlW4bEjB5A?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Okay? Let your storylines evolve naturally. Don't force them to move faster than they need to move.<br /><br />The Moment That Brought Me Closest to Orgasm Award goes to...Bastista's retirement! I know, you may have a funny look on your face right now similar to when you smell a really nasty fart that you know came from the guy sitting next to you but he's acting like nothing happened, but hear me out! Dave Batista was a cancer on this business, and removing him from television was such a wonderful relief that I nearly needed to change my pants afterward. And the way he retired was absolutely priceless: sitting in a wheelchair, left arm in a sling, wearing his douchy Kanye West sunglasses, with a whine in his voice that could not sound any sweeter to my ears. Don't believe me? Watch this (skip to maybe 2 minutes)<br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6D2fulVqmQc?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6D2fulVqmQc?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Oh, it was such an awesome moment. Too bad they almost immediately replaced him with Sheamus. I was hoping that spot would go to someone who actually deserved a main event spot. And speaking of Sheamus...<br /><br />The Most Overrated Wrestler of the Year Award goes to...SHEAMUS! Honorable mentions go to Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, and The Miz. But why did Sheamus pass by all of these other very qualified nominees? Simple: he's been showered with more titles than the others, and has essentially been a main event-level guy for the entire year despite not showing one reason why he should be there. Sure, he's had a couple of good matches, but he was carried like a mofo through those matches. McIntyre is clearly the worst of the four in terms of actual talent (or complete lack thereof), but he's only been an Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion, Swagger had one (terrible) World Heavyweight Championship reign, and Miz I'm only letting off the hook because he's worked for four years to get to the top. Sheamus is a two-time WWE Champion and the reigning King of the Ring. For a guy with less talent than Dave Batista, he's sure getting an awful lot of titles tossed his way. Is it because he's Irish? Probably. Is it because Vince can use his porcelain skin as a mirror? Quite likely. It it because of his exceptional in-ring talent? Dear god no. Plus, the guy always looks like he's a combination of confused, scared, and a little bit like he has the runs. He doesn't deserve all the titles Vince has been giving him this past year.<br /><br />The Best Right Hand In the Biz Award goes to...Jimmy "Don't Call Me Equinox" Olsen! Yes, Big Show is twice as big as Jimmy, but when Jimmy throws hands, it looks like it hurts. A lot of that comes from his opponents selling the Knockout Punch, but Jimmy sells it wonderfully as well. I was going to offer video evidence, but I can't find any. Dang. You'll have to take it on faith. Or go find proof yourself. You won't be disappointed.<br /><br />Alright, we're getting down to the really important awards now. So I'd like to provide a brief intermission.<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/swKoS_1a-JU?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/swKoS_1a-JU?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Okay, we're back. And now it's time for the really big awards!<br /><br />Most Craziest Ridiculousest Spot of the Year - Sorry, WWE fans, but this one's going to CHIKARA. In a year filled with amazing moves and crazy multi-man chains (including an absolutely insane four-man German suplex at King of Trios 2010 and a seven-man chain of side headlocks at Scornucopia), I have to give this award to referee Bryce Remsburg for his unreal senton off the top rope into a sea of wrestlers during the main event of Scornucopia. For those who don't know, Bryce is probably the ref who ends up doing more spots with wrestlers than anyone else in the history of pro wrestling. He usually "gets caught up in the moment" and does the final spot in a chain of repetitive spots, like this<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tNtpBR8a15Y?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tNtpBR8a15Y?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />or this<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/r7_3GaRtPjY?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/r7_3GaRtPjY?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />It's all in good fun, which is why...wait, this is an award I'll be giving out last. Safe to Say Bryce is awesome.<br /><br />The Best Gimmick Award goes to...The entirety of CHIKARA! From supreme badasses (Eddie Kingston) to insects (The Colony, UltraMantis Black) to Delicious Ice Cream Cones (Los Ice Creams) to video game characters (The Super Smash Brothers) to...whatever the hell Obariyon and Kodama are...CHIKARA is filled with awesome, memorable gimmicks that make for supremely entertaining shows.<br /><br />The Worst Gimmick Award goes to...we have another tie! The award goes to LayCool and Michael Cole. Go read my post on Cole to understand why he "wins" this award. And if you somehow have forgotten, LayCool's gimmick is pretty much that of two bitches being incredibly annoying all the time and having grade-school-level humor. Sure, I participate in grade-school-level humor too, but I also enjoy satire, parody, irony, and humor that doesn't involve the words "Your Mom" or "That's what she said." Calling Mickie James "Piggie James" and making fun of her for her weight even though she's actually a normal-sized woman (and afterward associating themselves with Vickie Guerrero), calling Kelly Kelly "Smelly Kelly" and photoshopping Jim Neidart's beard onto Nattie Neidhart's face reeks of bad taste. The fact that both of their voices are intolerably annoying (though Layla gets a partial pass because her accent is hot) doesn't help them at all. It was an abhorrent year for the women's division, since LayCool dominated it the entire time when more deserving women were left in the shadows. For shame.<br /><br />Best Feud of the Year:<br /><br />WWE - John Cena vs. Nexus. Say what you will, but Cena basically set ten guys up for success in the industry in the future. Some will find more success than others, but still, putting ten guys over in less than a year is really impressive. Also, while I wasn't a fan of this feud to begin with, as it gained steam, I began to enjoy it more, and with Wade Barrett being crushed under a pile of steel chairs, it appeared that John Cena had finally won. But, as M. Night Shamalamadingdong would say (or at least his Robot Chicken counterpart would say), "What a twist!" last week as CM Punk became the new leader of Nexus, setting up the feud for the next few months. Some of these guys are bound to have long careers, and I'm happy for them, because they probably wouldn't have gotten the chance they were given were it not for this feud.<br /><br />CHIKARA - CHIKARA vs. the BDK. Think Cena vs. Nexus, only spanning an entire company, better paced, and better booking, and you've got CHIKARA vs. the BDK. And this feud really took its time. It's lasted a year and it doesn't appear to be ending just yet. Even though Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw finally took the Campeones de Parejas from Ares and Claudio Castagnoli at Reality is Relative, the BDK is not done yet. I would imagine that they will meet their demise soon, though, as the Sinn Bodhi/UltraMantis Black feud picks up steam. This is another reason why CHIKARA is better than WWE: their storylines have a natural progression. I think it helps that CHIKARA has a feel more akin to a comic book than a soap opera. An awesome feud from beginning (or at least from when I started watching the product at King of Trios) to end.<br /><br />Worst Feud of the Year: Sorry, folks, this one is WWE-exclusive. And the award goes to...Kane vs. Edge! Creative didn't even wait a couple of weeks after Linda McMahon's failed US Senate bid before starting a feud with kidnapping and death involved. Jeez, Vince, I would think you'd cool off the felonies in your feuds for a few months at least. But no, we're subjected to weeks of Edge torturing Paul Bearer, Kane being the world's biggest dumbass, and climaxing with Kane pushing Paul off a strangely placed platform on top of a ladder down two stories and apparently killing Bearer. It was awful and tasteless, and I wish I could wash the memories of this feud from my mind. Ugh.<br /><br />Best Announcer:<br /><br />WWE - Jim Ross/CM Punk. Hey, JR called one match, so he's eligible. Plus, he actually DID HIS JOB, unlike other Raw announcers who shall indeed be named, MICHAEL COLE. And JR smacked Cole with his (JR's) hat after the match was over, which nearly made me pee with joy. And CM Punk receives this award because he was essentially tossed out to the announce table because Creative wanted him on screen even though he was rehabbing an injury at the time. Creative finally truly realized what a commodity Punk is to them. Punk went in blind, but became a better announcer in just a short few weeks than everyone else. He even made Matt Striker look incompetent. I have to give all the props in the world to Punk, who made Raw tolerable to watch while Michael Cole made an ass of himself throughout. And we now know that once Punk's in-ring career is over, we can look forward to his work at the commentation station.<br /><br />CHIKARA - Really, just about everyone at the commentation station was awesome. Though I didn't terribly enjoy Steven "The Turtle" Weiner's work, and Gavin Loudspeaker, true to his name, did sometimes get a little too loud. But every guy who called a match was excellent. Bryce Remsburg gets a special nod for his amazing reactions to the really crazy spots, like the four-man German suplex at King of Trios:<br /><br /><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dWuCOC0J8r0?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dWuCOC0J8r0?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br />Can you say, "Holy poop?"<br /><br />Worst Announcer of the Year: Michael Cole. Do I really need to explain this?<br /><br />Most Improved Wrestler of the Year:<br /><br />WWE - Eve Torres. Now before you go laughing out of the building, think about it. Eve has gone from being entirely nothing more than eye candy in 2007 to a legitimately talented performer. She's extremely athletic, and is the only woman (besides Gail Kim) who seems comfortable on toe top rope. Her moonsault is fantastic, and she's damn easy on the eyes. Had AJ Lee not appeared on Season 3 of NXT, I would consider Eve to have the most positive qualities that I look for in a woman. But AJ showed up and I had a nerdgasm. Still, Eve has shown a ton of promise and, if Amazing Kong actually ends up on WWE TV, Eve could possibly be one of the few women who could go toe to toe with her.<br /><br />CHIKARA - Vin Gerard. Gerard seemed like nothing more than some dumpy, miserable malcontent at the beginning of the year. But he's really gotten a lot better as the months have passed, and he's now a very talented performer. He's still a miserable malcontent, but he's a miserable malcontent who can pull off some crazy maneuvers. Honorable mention goes to Shane Matthews of 3.0, who can rattle off a half dozen headscissors takedowns in a row, which is awesome and hilarious at the same time.<br /><br />Rookie of the Year:<br /><br />WWE - The "Rookie" of the Year goes to Daniel Bryan Danielson! Come on, do you honestly think it would have gone to anyone else? The only person even vaguely close to DBD would be Alberto Del Rio, but Del Rio has yet to win a title and DBD has held the United States Championship for several months now. Plus, he's now winning a majority of his matches, which took long enough. Also, DBD has Ride of the Valkyries as his theme song. I can't argue with that. Here's hoping that there are many more successes for Daniel Bryan Danielson. Can you say DBD vs. Miz for the WWE Championship?<br /><br />CHIKARA - Obariyon. This freakish-face-painted, tattooed brick of a...I guess man...burst onto the scene at the Young Lion's Cup, nearly killing Dustin Rayz on Night 2 but failing to qualify for the finals (since Lince Dorado was also in that semifinal match). But Obariyon has continued to impress me, with a surprising array of moves and holds, a very varied style, and an absolutely sick finisher, wherein he leaps off the top rope , grabs the head of his opponent (who is standing in the ring) and performs a DDT. It's nuts. And now that he's involved in what may be the major plotline of the next season of CHIKARA, it will do wonders for him. The sky is the limit for this guy, and I look forward to his matches in the future.<br /><br />Tag Team of the Year - This is a CHIKARA-exclusive award, since Vince and WWE don't seem to give two shits about tag teams. The award goes to...Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw! I almost gave this award to Claudio Castagnoli and Ares, since they held the Campeones de Parejas for nearly the entire year, but they kept their titles through dirty tactics and a crooked referee, and no one earned their titles this year like Quack and Jig did. These two teams had one hell of a match to end the year, and because of their victory, Quack and Jig earn the honors as Tag Team of the Year.<br /><br />Show of the Year - Again, this is a CHIKARA exclusive. I can't pick just one. The best overall weekend goes to King of Trios 2010. Nine hours of extremely high-quality wrestling made this a must-watch for any wrestling fan, and it's the show that got me hooked to CHIKARA, likely forever. If we're talking single shows, It'd have to go to Chikarasaurus Rex. When you've got as stacked a card as Chikarasaurus Rex had, it's bound to be good. The main event, featuring Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, and Hallowicked teaming up to face Masato Yoshino, Naruki Doi and BxB Hulk. I'm sure any smarks out there are reaching for a towel after seeing that lineup. But the show was overall of extremely high quality, and deserves a spot in your DVD collection.<br /><br />Only three awards left. Are your butts tired? Mine sure is. I've had to type this whole thing.<br /><br />Let's get the "worst" award out of the way first so I can end this humongous post on a positive note.<br /><br />The Worst Wrestler of the Year Award goes to...Sheamus! Sorry. He just doesn't deserve his current spot on the Raw roster, nor did he deserve his two WWE Title runs or his King of the Ring victory. Besides, everyone already knows that the King of the Ring victory is merely a means to rekindle the Sheamus vs. HHH feud from earlier this year. It's pathetic. You know who SHOULD have won King of the Ring? Alberto Del Rio. Or John Morrison. Or Kofi Kingston. Any one of those three men could have benefited tremendously from wearing the crown and carrying the sceptre to the ring. Instead we get the shamrock milkshake wandering to the ring with his ridiculous crown and walking stick. LAME. Please, let someone who actually deserves a main event spot move into Sheamus' place on the Raw roster. Know who would be great in that spot? Evan Bourne. Well, whenever he returns from his injury.<br /><br />And now, it's time for the Wrestler of the Year Award. I debated whether to give separate awards for WWE and CHIKARA, but after reviewing all the evidence, really, there is no comparison. This is a CHIKARA award through and through, and only one man is truly deserving of the title.<br /><br />The 2010 Wrestler of the Year Award goes to...EDDIE KINGSTON! When I first saw Eddie Kingston at Night 3 of King of Trios, I thought he was just some fat guy that the Philadelphia fans cheered because he looked like them. He went on to shatter my expectations and defeat Christopher Daniels that night. Now, let's take a look at his matches from then until the end of the year. He and Tommy Dreamer beat the shit out of each other at Anniversario Elf before being interrupted by the BDK. He fought Bryan Danielson for 15 minutes before losing at We Must Eat Michigan's Brains. He pummeled Delirious at Faded Scars and Lines. He teamed with Tommy Dreamer to face off against Claudio and Ares at Chikarasaurus Rex, albeit in a losing effort. He eliminated four people in the Countdown to Showdown match at Night 3 of the Young Lions Cup before being unfairly eliminated by Claudio Castagnoli. He beat the crap out of Pinkie Sanchez at Eye to Eye. He lost to Ares after interference from Claudio at Through Savage Progress Cuts the Jungle Line. He won the Cibernetico by taking Tursas off his feet for the first time in his (Tursas') career. He pummeled Tim Donst to a pulp at Terror in the Neighborhood. He had a knock-down, drag-out brawl with Homicide at The Germans. And he took Tursas off his feet again and pinned him at Reality is Relative. When you look at the quality of his opponents and how many awesome matches he's had this year, there's really no one who compares. I now understand why everyone cheers for Eddie Kingston. He is the toughest man on the CHIKARA roster, and he leaves everything in the ring for every match. No one else I've seen gives as much in the ring as Eddie, and no one else is as good at telling a story in the ring as Eddie (except maybe The Undertaker). He has my utmost respect, and is my favorite wrestler in the world. If I could even consider having the slightest chance of ever possibly getting in the ring, I'd consider him the top guy I'd want to work with. For anyone who hasn't seen his work, you may think I'm overhyping him. You'd be wrong. He is that damn good.<br /><br />And now, it's time for the final award. Promotion of the Year. Since I only watched two promotions, it was a fairly easy pick. Still, it has to be said.<br /><br />The Best Promotion in the World for the Year 2010 is...CHIKARA! Memorable characters, fantastic wrestling, engaging storylines, and variety that puts all other promotions to shame, there really was no question. If you want to see everything in one night, watch a CHIKARA show. It doesn't really even matter which one, because they all have enormous variety. You want comedy? Watch a 3.0 match. You want a phenomenal badass? Watch any Eddie Kingston match. You want to see the best overall in-ring wrestler in the world? Watch a Mike Quackenbush match. They are everything I've been looking for in a wrestling promotion, and I doubt any other promotions I see in the future will top them. Congratulations, CHIKARA, on being ludicrously awesome!<br /><br />Well, that does it for the Second Annual Golden Rantable Awards. I hope you've enjoyed this epic novel of a post, and I'll be back with more regular content soon!holydiver42http://www.blogger.com/profile/17314359929249302325noreply@blogger.com0